I have an MRI booked this morning at 10:30 in Guelph. It is a precautionary measure after I had what they think was a vascular migraine a few weeks a go. I am sure nothing will come of it but, it is still a bit nerve racking. The unknown is a scary venture sometimes and worry a little bit about what they may find. Fingers crossed.
I have been doing fairly well otherwise. My mind has floated a bit over the last few weeks but, have been able to keep my thoughts at bay and focus more on daily life. It is difficult to ignore some thoughts as I wonder why the hell they even pass through my mind. I will write a blog in the next few weeks to focus more specifically on what transpires when my brain races or cycles. I have not had a major bout of depression for a few months now which is encouraging. I just have to remain diligent in my routines and pay attention to my thought patterns.
I am missing work as they just booked the MRI and I had not option as to when it was. I hate losing a day on the pay check but, I need to get this done to make sure there is nothing more serious going on inside my body. Work has been going smoothly these days. It is hard to believe that there is only three months left to the season. I am really looking forward to the winter and having some time to recoup. I may pick up some odd jobs here and there but, mainly plan to spend some quality time with Ollie.
I have to get going now so I hope you have an amazing long weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
Inspirations come in a variety of forms.
Friday, 31 August 2012
Saturday, 18 August 2012
Mind over Matter
Thursday night was an interesting one for me. I was watching the Blue Jays game and at about 8:00, my vision started going blurry. This has never happened to me previously in my life so it was a bit worrisome. I rinsed my eyes out to see if that would help but, to no avail. Jodi was talking to Leslie and they both encouraged me to go to the hospital. I was a little hesitant as I have not always had a positive experience in prior trips to Groves Memorial.
I was really not feeling well and my whole body was weak. I was dizzy and felt as though I may just collapse on the floor. The front of my head was starting to ache and my vision was still not what I am accustomed to. Jodi actually knew the in-take nurses so they were quite friendly.
The nurse took me to do an eye test on the wall. I normally have excellent vision and can read every line with no issue. With my left eye, I could only read the first four lines. My right was only one line better. This was alarming to me as I was wondering what the hell was going on.
Jodi waited with me in the back room. I really appreciated her being there with me but, I am sure she was getting annoyed with my attempts to lighten the mood. As I was lying there in the bed, I felt extremely drained. My head ached and I developed a pain on the left side of my chest and some tingly sensations in my left hand. A variety of things crossed my mind and I just wanted to find out what this was all about.
We waited in the back room for probably an hour and half. I am not patient when it comes to waiting but, managed to remain relatively calm. They transferred me to the main area and I lay in another bed waiting to see the physician. The nurse hooked me up to an machine to monitor my vitals to be safe and I had some blood taken. An in-tern finally came in to talk to me. She was from McMaster and was very pleasant. I did my best to answer all the questions and she seemed to be as perplexed as I was. This may because all my tests came back fine and my previous symptoms seemed a mystery. The in-tern went off to discuss my situation with the doctor on duty. They came back and the doc asserted that I may have had a vascular migraine. I do get a lot of headaches so this appeared to make sense. She wants me to follow up with an optometrist and see Dr Otto to book an MRI just to rule out some things. I was relieved to hear that diagnosis as some worse case scenarios had been running through my mind.
We got back at midnight and I was ready to instantly fall asleep. I had phoned my boss, to keep him up to speed. I e-mailed him when I got home to let him know I would be at work in the morning. In the past, I would never have wanted to work after being so physically drained. I knew it was going to be an extremely long day on Friday but, I wanted to cut some grass as we were already down a man.
I woke up after hitting snooze a few times and made my way out to Tim's to grab us a coffee. I made a make shift lunch and headed out the door. My body was not looking forward to the day ahead but, my mind was steadfast in facing the challenge head on. It turned out to be an amazing day of grass cutting. Marcel and I did ten properties, a few monster ones, and ended up working till quarter to seven. Our boss even helped us at the end of the day which helped us finish all the properties on our grass cutting list. We are now back on track for our weekly routine as it has been a bit messed up with all the rain we have had lately. Marcel did an amazing job and we left the properties looking pretty sharp. I am really proud of myself for pushing through the physical exhaustion from the lack of sleep. I credit this to staying positive mentally, not allowing my mind to give in to negative shit which enabled my body to perform the way it should. Jodi even sent me an e-mail saying how proud she was of me for getting up and going to work. It may not seem like a big deal but, for me it was an awesome accomplishment. It came down to mind over matter and I am so happy the way my Friday turned out.
I realize this was a bit of a novel today, was important for me to get all this down though. I hope you are having a good weekend. Bye for now. Take care, Shawn.
Pushing yourself to the limit is a good way to test your character.
I was really not feeling well and my whole body was weak. I was dizzy and felt as though I may just collapse on the floor. The front of my head was starting to ache and my vision was still not what I am accustomed to. Jodi actually knew the in-take nurses so they were quite friendly.
The nurse took me to do an eye test on the wall. I normally have excellent vision and can read every line with no issue. With my left eye, I could only read the first four lines. My right was only one line better. This was alarming to me as I was wondering what the hell was going on.
Jodi waited with me in the back room. I really appreciated her being there with me but, I am sure she was getting annoyed with my attempts to lighten the mood. As I was lying there in the bed, I felt extremely drained. My head ached and I developed a pain on the left side of my chest and some tingly sensations in my left hand. A variety of things crossed my mind and I just wanted to find out what this was all about.
We waited in the back room for probably an hour and half. I am not patient when it comes to waiting but, managed to remain relatively calm. They transferred me to the main area and I lay in another bed waiting to see the physician. The nurse hooked me up to an machine to monitor my vitals to be safe and I had some blood taken. An in-tern finally came in to talk to me. She was from McMaster and was very pleasant. I did my best to answer all the questions and she seemed to be as perplexed as I was. This may because all my tests came back fine and my previous symptoms seemed a mystery. The in-tern went off to discuss my situation with the doctor on duty. They came back and the doc asserted that I may have had a vascular migraine. I do get a lot of headaches so this appeared to make sense. She wants me to follow up with an optometrist and see Dr Otto to book an MRI just to rule out some things. I was relieved to hear that diagnosis as some worse case scenarios had been running through my mind.
We got back at midnight and I was ready to instantly fall asleep. I had phoned my boss, to keep him up to speed. I e-mailed him when I got home to let him know I would be at work in the morning. In the past, I would never have wanted to work after being so physically drained. I knew it was going to be an extremely long day on Friday but, I wanted to cut some grass as we were already down a man.
I woke up after hitting snooze a few times and made my way out to Tim's to grab us a coffee. I made a make shift lunch and headed out the door. My body was not looking forward to the day ahead but, my mind was steadfast in facing the challenge head on. It turned out to be an amazing day of grass cutting. Marcel and I did ten properties, a few monster ones, and ended up working till quarter to seven. Our boss even helped us at the end of the day which helped us finish all the properties on our grass cutting list. We are now back on track for our weekly routine as it has been a bit messed up with all the rain we have had lately. Marcel did an amazing job and we left the properties looking pretty sharp. I am really proud of myself for pushing through the physical exhaustion from the lack of sleep. I credit this to staying positive mentally, not allowing my mind to give in to negative shit which enabled my body to perform the way it should. Jodi even sent me an e-mail saying how proud she was of me for getting up and going to work. It may not seem like a big deal but, for me it was an awesome accomplishment. It came down to mind over matter and I am so happy the way my Friday turned out.
I realize this was a bit of a novel today, was important for me to get all this down though. I hope you are having a good weekend. Bye for now. Take care, Shawn.
Pushing yourself to the limit is a good way to test your character.
Thursday, 9 August 2012
Sweet Justice
The Canadian women's soccer team won the bronze today and I am so proud of their efforts throughout the Olympics. Congratulations to all of the players, coaching staff and trainers!!!!! Go Canada!!!
I was watching their semi-final match on Monday and was glued to the television set. I thought they did everything possible to win that game but, unfortunately the referee had a little to much to say about its outcome. I have watched soccer/football for thirty years and have never seen a goalie called for delay of game. To make that call in such an important game with only ten minutes to go is absurd and completely unfair to the effort the Canadians put forth. And to add insult to injury, the US was awarded a penalty shot on an accidental hand ball. It was my understanding that a penalty kick was awarded when it was hand to ball, not ball to hand. This was a case of the referee dictating the outcome of a match and I was heartbroken for our ladies. Who is to say that the Americans would not have scored in the last ten minutes of the second half but, I wish they would have had to earn it. I definitely know who I will be rooting for in the gold medal match!!!
With it having been such a dry summer, it is quite surprising the amount of rain we are supposed to get in the next few days. We only worked two hours today and it was still raining with no end in site. Tomorrow, we are supposed to get 35-40 mm so looks like I will be off again. It makes for a shitty pay check but, I am not too worried. Jodi is off during the summer and we rarely get a chance to hang out during the week. Ollie is pretty happy I am home today and it will give me a chance to watch some of the finals in the Olympics. The 200 m final is in a few hours and the men's gold medal match for beach volleyball is coming up as well. I hope Usain crushes the world record, damn that guy is fast.
We actually have a full slate of activities this weekend. We are going to watch my cousin Alex's football game on Friday night. On Saturday, we are going to a birthday bash for my nephew Elias and then to my boss's place for their anniversary party. There is a plan for Sunday but, I cannot mention it yet in case Jodi actually reads this before then.
Happy Thursday. Take care, Shawn.
Hold the door open for a stranger, it might make their day.
I was watching their semi-final match on Monday and was glued to the television set. I thought they did everything possible to win that game but, unfortunately the referee had a little to much to say about its outcome. I have watched soccer/football for thirty years and have never seen a goalie called for delay of game. To make that call in such an important game with only ten minutes to go is absurd and completely unfair to the effort the Canadians put forth. And to add insult to injury, the US was awarded a penalty shot on an accidental hand ball. It was my understanding that a penalty kick was awarded when it was hand to ball, not ball to hand. This was a case of the referee dictating the outcome of a match and I was heartbroken for our ladies. Who is to say that the Americans would not have scored in the last ten minutes of the second half but, I wish they would have had to earn it. I definitely know who I will be rooting for in the gold medal match!!!
With it having been such a dry summer, it is quite surprising the amount of rain we are supposed to get in the next few days. We only worked two hours today and it was still raining with no end in site. Tomorrow, we are supposed to get 35-40 mm so looks like I will be off again. It makes for a shitty pay check but, I am not too worried. Jodi is off during the summer and we rarely get a chance to hang out during the week. Ollie is pretty happy I am home today and it will give me a chance to watch some of the finals in the Olympics. The 200 m final is in a few hours and the men's gold medal match for beach volleyball is coming up as well. I hope Usain crushes the world record, damn that guy is fast.
We actually have a full slate of activities this weekend. We are going to watch my cousin Alex's football game on Friday night. On Saturday, we are going to a birthday bash for my nephew Elias and then to my boss's place for their anniversary party. There is a plan for Sunday but, I cannot mention it yet in case Jodi actually reads this before then.
Happy Thursday. Take care, Shawn.
Hold the door open for a stranger, it might make their day.
Saturday, 4 August 2012
The Rising Sun
I was on my way to work yesterday morning and witnessed the most amazing sun rise I have seen in quite some time. The sun was just coming over the horizon and it glistened brightly with a mix of crimson red and fiery orange. It spanned the sky line for miles on end and captured the full scope of the landscape. It was an amazing way to start the day and I am thankful that I was up early enough see such a magnificent display.
I was the lead hand the last few days at work. Smitty is a way in Chicago for a music festival, so I was in charge which turned out pretty well. I was quite nervous but, I feel it went smoothly. I probably pushed myself a bit too hard physically as I wanted to leave a good impression. I believe I experienced some heat exhaustion yesterday as I really did not feeling well towards the end of the day. I made the decision to come back to the shop a few hours early as my body could not handle the humidity anymore. Paul and I did get a fair amount done considering he does not have much experience with pruning and myself not feeling 100 per cent. I was a bit worried that I would get in shit for coming back to the shop early but, I am not going to fret about it. I worry too much as it is and I need to have faith in my ability to make good decisions. I can only push my body so far.
Track and Field is on the go at the Olympics now which means the 100 meter final is fast approaching. I anticipate that the world record will fall and it will be a close finish. I am pulling for Usain Bolt but, his team mate may have a say in the final result. The play offs for beach volleyball are underway and I am interested to see if Misty May and Kerri Walsh can pull of the three peat. They have looked solid in their pool play matches but, will be tested in the next few matches.
There is lots of good things to look forward to in August. Jodi's birthday is coming up in a week. My family will all be together a few days later in the month. My nephew turns five next Saturday and we are heading down for an afternoon birthday celebration. NFL pre-season is right around the corner. I try to make a mental not of positive things to look forward to. If I am struggling, I can look at what good things lay a head in the weeks to come. It is important for my mental health and is a strategy that has proved effective.
Ollie just came downstairs so I better end my writing for now before he starts barking. I hope you have an amazing long weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
Laughter is a key to happiness.
I was the lead hand the last few days at work. Smitty is a way in Chicago for a music festival, so I was in charge which turned out pretty well. I was quite nervous but, I feel it went smoothly. I probably pushed myself a bit too hard physically as I wanted to leave a good impression. I believe I experienced some heat exhaustion yesterday as I really did not feeling well towards the end of the day. I made the decision to come back to the shop a few hours early as my body could not handle the humidity anymore. Paul and I did get a fair amount done considering he does not have much experience with pruning and myself not feeling 100 per cent. I was a bit worried that I would get in shit for coming back to the shop early but, I am not going to fret about it. I worry too much as it is and I need to have faith in my ability to make good decisions. I can only push my body so far.
Track and Field is on the go at the Olympics now which means the 100 meter final is fast approaching. I anticipate that the world record will fall and it will be a close finish. I am pulling for Usain Bolt but, his team mate may have a say in the final result. The play offs for beach volleyball are underway and I am interested to see if Misty May and Kerri Walsh can pull of the three peat. They have looked solid in their pool play matches but, will be tested in the next few matches.
There is lots of good things to look forward to in August. Jodi's birthday is coming up in a week. My family will all be together a few days later in the month. My nephew turns five next Saturday and we are heading down for an afternoon birthday celebration. NFL pre-season is right around the corner. I try to make a mental not of positive things to look forward to. If I am struggling, I can look at what good things lay a head in the weeks to come. It is important for my mental health and is a strategy that has proved effective.
Ollie just came downstairs so I better end my writing for now before he starts barking. I hope you have an amazing long weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
Laughter is a key to happiness.
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