Renewed Strength

I would first like to start by wishing my nephew Rylen a belated first birthday.  He is definitely part of my inner strength and hopefully he will know one day how much he means to me.  It was so wonderful to have a chance to visit with him and my awesome sister in law Deb a few weeks a go.  My brother Ry was in Jordan so I did not get to see him but, hopefully will have a chance to go visit at some point.

Today was just what the doctor ordered.  I did end up having the day off due to some inclement weather.  I could have got a few hours in but, I am thankful for the day I had at home.  I have a renewed strength and am determined to push through my little funk.  I saw my Uncle Jerry today as I fertilized his lawn amidst a light drizzle.  I told him I had been struggling a bit and he passed on some words of wisdom to me.  He told me that life will throw shit at you all the time but, that does not matter as long as you have someone who loves you.  I have lots of people who love me and in particular, Jodi and Ollie.  They love me the same when I get home regardless of how my day was and that is a comforting fact.  A psychologist once told me that work does not have to define you as a person.  I try to live that but, it is a challenge at times as most of us spend more time at work than at home.

The thing that I have to remember is that I am good at what I do and I enjoy what I do.  I would struggle in any vocation at times and I am fortunate to have a job that allows me to be outside and breathe in the fresh air.  I enjoy the people I work for and with as they are a big part of my life.  Our company is small and feels like a family.  And like any family, their will be growing pains.  I will get frustrated and others will be frustrated with me but at the end of the day, I know that we would be there for each other when it counts.  I still remember Heather coming down to Amaya's visitation which meant the world to me knowing she cared that much about me and our family.

My mind at the present time is at peace and I am looking forward to facing a new day tomorrow.

Happy Monday.  Take care,  Shawn.

Rain helps nature grow in to the many beautiful landscapes that surround us.  

Hoping for Rain

I am pulling for a rain day tomorrow. Work has been draining mentally and physically. I could really use an extra day.  I kind of wish there was only one month to go and not six. Just not having fun and is very stressful. Smitty and I are carrying quite a bit of the work load and it is taking its toll. We got in shit the other day as we rushed a property late in the day and it did not look as sharp as it normally does.  I understood what he was talking about when we went back there to fix it up.  I bagged a lot of it and it looks pretty sharp now.

Ninety per cent of the time we do an awesome job and I am proud of what we have accomplished with such an inexperienced crew. I know I am damn good at cutting and pruning and know that there would be a big void if  I was not there. I went through a similar stretch last year and everything turned out fine. I remember stopping at Dave's after work once and letting it all out. Tears flowed from my eyes like a river and I was sure I could not face another day working. But here I am a year later trying to push through again. Many people with bi-polar or other mental illnesses are unable to work. I can relate to that and feel fortunate to be able to make an attempt at staying employed. I have spent the weekend stressed and  strained with worry but, I will face whatever the new day brings tomorrow. I will write again soon to let you know how it went. Also have to catch up on a few things. Take care. Shawn.                                


Positive should outweigh negative.