I took down my last post. I was just so angry and frustrated by the outcome for a dear friend of mine. I thought he was in a good position to get the help he needed but, it never worked out that way.
I was so pissed that I almost deleted my blog. Fortunately, I was able to retrieve it in time. I love writing. And regardless of how things turn out with my friend, I need to try to do my part in writing about my own experiences with bi polar in hopes that it may help someone else.
Fortunately we have been able to start up work again which has been a welcome distraction for me. My new job has been going extremely well. The people are all good people and they have made a very good impression on me. I really want it to work out and think this could be my shot at long term stability. I have already been promoted to a foreman position. They have been impressed with my knowledge and skill. I owe that all to my first job in landscaping where I learned the value of providing a professional service. I would never have the unique skill set I have if I had not worked there.
I have not been sleeping much after the trauma my friend has been through. I cannot stress how important proper sleep routine is. It is important for anyone but, especially for those dealing with a mental illness. I started taking melatonin to help me sleep which has helped a bit. I do not like take anything other than my own medications. I rarely even take Advil. I need to get back to normal sleeps and these long days will certainly help in that regard.
All things considered over the last few weeks, I am doing fairly well lately mentally. I found strength I never knew I had and have been able to be there for others. I need to start looking out for myself and realize I cannot control the outcome of what may or may not happen with my good friend.
I hope you are well. All the best. Take care, Shawn.
Hope is never lost if you are willing to reach out to any small amount of light seeping through the darkness. SA
