Keep Moving

 Happy New Year's Eve.  Hope this finds you well.

As we turn the page on another year,  I wanted to write one more post that me be helpful in some way.

I would like to share a story about my first day of the season this past year in early April.  This was the first full season of my return the landscaping industry.  I have osteoarthritis in both of my hips and have had a crippling issue at times with my SI joint on my right side.  Last winter I made some progress with my physical issues but, I was still very limited with movement, especially on my right side.

My first day back in the spring was full of anticipation and it felt wonderful to be back working outside where I belong.  The day started off well but as the morning progressed the SI joint on my right side was in immense pain and the pain shot down the back of my leg.  I could barely walk and was gritting my teeth with each step.  Inside my mind I was thinking I was not going to make it through the first day let alone the grind of an 8 month season.

It was at that point that the healthy part of my brain kicked in.  I just told myself to keep moving.  One step at a time.  It will eventually get better.  The pain will subside.  A lot of people deal with pain.  Just keep moving Shawn.  Not only did I get through that day but, I ended up having one of my best seasons ever and only missed one day of work due to an issue with my SI and back.

To be completely honest, the last week has been a battle mentally for me.  I often find this time of year the most difficult time of year.  My Cbristmas Day was plagued with suicidal ideation and for the following few days.  I was in and out of depression.  My mood was erratic.  My mind was very racy.  And the joy I have rediscovered over the past year was gone.

As with the story about physical pain,  I just had to keep moving.  Keep pushing through it.  Getting by minute by minute.  Hour by hour.  Knowing at some point I would get through it as I have proved to myself that I could.  That the darkness would subside and I would be able to see the light of life shining through once more.  

I did not share that to make anyone worry or to feel sorry for me.  It is something I live with and I will always have to manage it at varying points for the rest of my life.  My point is that sometimes in life , we simply have to keep moving as hard as it may be.  Everyone on earth deals with struggle of some sort. Keep belief in yourself that you can persevere and that you deserve love, compassion and happiness.  You are worth it and the universe cares about you.  I believe in the power of the human spirit and that we can always overcome.

Keep Moving

I wish you nothing but the best in the new year.  May you find peace, love and new adventures.

Happy New Year

Take care

Shawn

There is some good in this world,

and it's worth fighting for.

J.R.R Tolkien 

15 Years

 Hope this finds you well.  I have not written in a while and I am hoping I can reconnect with my writing again in 2025.

On November 2nd ,  I celebrated 15 years of sobriety.  It was a big milestone for me and I felt a sense of great pride having achieved that.  When I made the conscious choice to address my alcohol addiction, it was the first step in getting to where I am today.  I have still struggled in that time with my gambling addiction but giving up alcohol was a pre curser to the success I have had with my gambling addiction over the last two years.  

I could not remember any time in my life where I had one drink.  I had no shut off switch or ability to drink socially.  I was filled with great shame for a long time in my adult life over some of the choices, actions and behaviours that transpired when I consumed alcohol.  If I could turn back time and had known the complexities of my disorder and my addictive nature, I never would have taken my first sip of alcohol.  But alas time does not go in reverse.  I can only learn lessons from my past and do as much as I can to spread awareness, knowledge and decreasing stigmas surrounding mental health and addiction.  

If you are looking for things to watch during this holiday season, Stephen Fry has an excellent two part documentary out there called the Secret Life of a Manic Depressive.  It is a wonderful documentary and gives really good insight in to bi polar disorder and the impact it can have on someone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtImgnj5DN0

Another great documentary is currently on Apple Tv with Selena Gomez called My Mind and Me. It was very brave and courageous of her to disclose her diagnosis and share some of her story being that she lives much of her life in the public spotlight.  I really respected her vulnerability in sharing and recommend giving it a watch.  

During the holidays, many people are often looking for charities to donate to.  If I could suggest one that does some amazing work.  Portage in Elora , On works with youth struggling with addiction.  I find their work to be so important as the earlier we can reach individuals struggling with addiction and/or mental health, the better chance they will have of finding balance in their lives and reaching their potential.

https://portage.ca/en/ontario/

I share my story because I want to impact others in some way as my way of gratitude for all the people that supported me along the way to get where I am in this moment.  It seems at times like our world is collapsing around us. Many things are out of our control but, we can always impact the lives of others by showing kindness and empathy to our fellow men and women.

Have a wonderful new year.  I hope 2025 is a year of hope, strength and new beginnings for you.

Take care.

Shawn 

Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people.

Dennis Prager