Last weekend was one of the toughest on me mentally. I was really struggling to get out of the pit of despair I was in. The depression had taken a hold of my entire being and I was certain I would not be able to face the week ahead.
Now I am looking at this weekend with a sense of optimism and joy. I had the best week so far this year and was thankful for the positive experience I was fortunate to have. I was in charge of the truck for two days this week and things went smoothly. We left the properties looking quite professional and I was happy with the work we did. I learned how to lay inter locking stone as well which was quit fulfilling. We are even planning on going to a Jays game on July 26th as a team which will be a lot of fun.
Today, my first priority is to get our house in order. The last week was amazingly humid so we kind of let things slip as we were both so drained. I even slept through my alarm one morning from being so exhausted. Then we are heading to my parents to do some work outside and attempt to get the pool in order. We are picking up my dad tonight from the air port so I want to get some things taken care of before he gets home. The pool has been a pain in the ass this year but, think I may have managed to get it clear again. My dad has been on the west coast visiting some friends and meeting his nephew, Rylen. My mom is staying out there for another few weeks but, I still managed to remember her birthday yesterday. We are also having dinner with Matt and Laura which will be awesome because we have not had a chance to hang out with them for a few months.
Jodi only has one more week left of school and then gets to enjoy her summer vacation. I am sure that Ollie will appreciate some company during the day as he has been home by himself a lot these days. My dad will be around to walk him as well so he should get a plethora of exercise over the next few months. We have had him for over two years now, time sure does fly. I took him for a good play this morning and now he is lounging in his bed. Jodi is off to boot camp now so I better start off with some dishes.
The last week has affirmed that anything is possible in life. While standing tall and readjusting your mindset, challenges can be faced head on. There are solutions to the majority of problems in our daily lives. You just have to be willing to believe in your ability to seek out those solutions. Take pride in who you are as person and push on, one step at a time.
Laughter is a key to happiness.
Take care, Shawn.
Saturday, 23 June 2012
Monday, 18 June 2012
This too shall pass
I am often reminded of what my dad tells me when I am struggling, " This too shall pass."
Yesterday I was at the lowest I have been in months and today my world leveled out and I had an amazing day. I talked to my boss this morning and we had a good discussion. I was actually able to verbalize some of my issues and we cleared the air. He was able to explain some of the stress in his own life and what his expectations were for our crew in regards to a few things. It was a positive experience and I was happy that the day started that way.
Smitty was a way today so I was in charge of the truck which I was a bit nervous about. I also did not exactly know where some of the properties were but, managed to get through the day in good spirits. We finished a mulching job and were able to lay a lot of stone at an interlock job in Brampton. It is really starting to take form which if good because I believe the job has gone a bit longer than expected.
Jodi looked at Amaya's picture in the car this morning and asked her to be with me today. I truly believe she was as I was expecting the worst and it worked out to be one of the best days I have had. She really is an Angel. I often look in to the sky and look at a star shining bright and think of her. I miss her.
I took down my blog from yesterday. I wrote that in a state of depression and frustration. It was more of a rant than a well though out literary musing. It was laced with some profanities too and I hope Elias and Rylen have the opportunity to read this one day so I will try to limit the use of four letter words. Cannot promise I won't let a few slip here and there though but, I will make an effort.
Today taught me that confronting an issue head on is good medicine. It would have been easy for me to hold everything inside and not explain how I was feeling. Instead, I let it all out and it led to a positive outcome. So many times in my life, I have simply run a way from things I was scared of facing. I have to put today in the memory bank and remember how good it felt to get something off my chest and face my fear head on.
Pay someone a compliment this week, it will go a long way.
Perfectly Imperfect, Shawn.
Yesterday I was at the lowest I have been in months and today my world leveled out and I had an amazing day. I talked to my boss this morning and we had a good discussion. I was actually able to verbalize some of my issues and we cleared the air. He was able to explain some of the stress in his own life and what his expectations were for our crew in regards to a few things. It was a positive experience and I was happy that the day started that way.
Smitty was a way today so I was in charge of the truck which I was a bit nervous about. I also did not exactly know where some of the properties were but, managed to get through the day in good spirits. We finished a mulching job and were able to lay a lot of stone at an interlock job in Brampton. It is really starting to take form which if good because I believe the job has gone a bit longer than expected.
Jodi looked at Amaya's picture in the car this morning and asked her to be with me today. I truly believe she was as I was expecting the worst and it worked out to be one of the best days I have had. She really is an Angel. I often look in to the sky and look at a star shining bright and think of her. I miss her.
I took down my blog from yesterday. I wrote that in a state of depression and frustration. It was more of a rant than a well though out literary musing. It was laced with some profanities too and I hope Elias and Rylen have the opportunity to read this one day so I will try to limit the use of four letter words. Cannot promise I won't let a few slip here and there though but, I will make an effort.
Today taught me that confronting an issue head on is good medicine. It would have been easy for me to hold everything inside and not explain how I was feeling. Instead, I let it all out and it led to a positive outcome. So many times in my life, I have simply run a way from things I was scared of facing. I have to put today in the memory bank and remember how good it felt to get something off my chest and face my fear head on.
Pay someone a compliment this week, it will go a long way.
Perfectly Imperfect, Shawn.
Sunday, 3 June 2012
Safe Travels
It is 8:00 on Sunday morning and I am curled up watching The Facts of Fishing on thie Score. Morning highlights are over and I have yet to find anything else on the tube. The Score is by far my first choice for my sporting news. I love the cast of characters they have and find it to be the most entertaining broadcast. And I was never to spectacular at fishing so I can always use some helpful tips from Dave Mercer.
The last few weeks kind of caught up with me this past Wednesday and Thursday. My mind started to drift a bit and was struggling to keep it focused. The emotional roller coaster of this past month was bound to affect me mentally at some point. Work has helped me focus on routine and I am still trying to break up days in to small sections. The pain and sorrow of losing Amaya will never go a way and I will never completely understand it. She continues to be a light on my shoulder to help guide me in daily life.
Leslie, Bart and Elias are on their way to Australia tomorrow. I truly hope their trip will be a therapeutic journey for them and they are able to ease some of their pain. I know the hurt for them will always be close to their hearts and I would give anything to take some of that a way from them. The Chapman clan will be there for support and sometimes in life, a change of surroundings helps in the healing process. I wish them a safe flight and safe travels. I will be thinking of them daily on their trip for the next five weeks.
Love is essential to the human existence.
Shawn
The last few weeks kind of caught up with me this past Wednesday and Thursday. My mind started to drift a bit and was struggling to keep it focused. The emotional roller coaster of this past month was bound to affect me mentally at some point. Work has helped me focus on routine and I am still trying to break up days in to small sections. The pain and sorrow of losing Amaya will never go a way and I will never completely understand it. She continues to be a light on my shoulder to help guide me in daily life.
Leslie, Bart and Elias are on their way to Australia tomorrow. I truly hope their trip will be a therapeutic journey for them and they are able to ease some of their pain. I know the hurt for them will always be close to their hearts and I would give anything to take some of that a way from them. The Chapman clan will be there for support and sometimes in life, a change of surroundings helps in the healing process. I wish them a safe flight and safe travels. I will be thinking of them daily on their trip for the next five weeks.
Love is essential to the human existence.
Shawn
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