I had an excellent week. Everything went smoothly and we got a lot accomplished. Devin did really well and the grass slowed down just enough to make things manageable. I have never seen the grass so thick at this time of year. We have not caught a break at all and hopefully this colder weather will really slow things down for the last five weeks of cutting. I love grass cutting but, I am really looking forward to our last cut. I am proud of our little team in how we have handled ourselves during this challenging year. I am quite amazed at how well I have handled things mentally. There is no way I would have been able to handle a year like this is if I had not made vast improvements with how I handle my thoughts and mood. I have learned how to cope in a more efficient manner. My biggest stride is that I have been able to separate work and home. In years gone by and certainly with past jobs, it was an immense struggle not to bring work home with me. Stress and anxiety were often prevalent during my time off but, I have been able to really enjoy my time a way from work and not worry about things too much. It certainly has made things easier for Jodi and I and our relationship has grown in a positive way.
I have my first day off of the year coming up on Monday. I needed to book a day to see my doctor as my medications are out of refills. It is good for me to check in anyway and it will give me a chance to meet my new physician as Dr. Otto is retiring. It will be hard to duplicate the relationship I had built with Dr. Otto but, I am sure it will work out just fine. I am also going to take my learners for my D license. As I mentioned in a past blog, it was quite the process to be cleared to take my learners. It still really bothers me that my bi-polar 2 disorder made things challenging with the the ministry of transportation in Ontario. I have driven for over twenty years and consider myself quite a competent driver. I feel they are discriminating in a way. I can understand the meaning behind the process to an extent but, it has still been very frustrating for me. I will drive down to Humber college after I get my learners to book my driving lessons and my road test. I cannot wait to finally get my D license as it will certainly open up some doors and give me another positive achievement to hang my hat on.
I am looking forward to the Praught clan coming in to Fergus later in October. It will be awesome to see them all and get a chance to hear about Duane and Erin's one year journey in South America. I am sure Duane will not let me forget the horrible trade I made with his fantasy hockey team, which I was in charge of while he was gone. Still wish I had not slept through the draft. Bernie and Karen will leave for Florida after visiting and I believe we are planning on going down there on March break. Aunt Kaye is also coming in October and it is always great to see her. She always has tonnes of energy and is fun to play cards with.
It is bath time for Ollie today. He is not a big fan of baths but, he is long overdue. I will take him for a good play today as well. I am looking forward to relaxing this afternoon and catching up on some college football action. I should probably get an oil change at some point too.
I am running 10km tomorrow in Oakville. I am running in support of the Lighthouse Foundation which is an organization that helps families going through loss. It is an important cause and I really want to finish the run. I know I will finish as Amaya will be with me stride for stride. I still think of her everyday and am certain she has been watching over me. It will be great to see everyone there running for and supporting the A Team. Les and Bart had some t-shirts made for us and I will wear it proudly.
I hope this finds you in good spirits. Have a good weekend. Take care, Shawn.
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so
long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened
for us.”
―
Helen Keller
Saturday, 20 September 2014
Sunday, 7 September 2014
Football is Back
I love Ollie but, he was a bit of a monkey this morning. He woke me up at 1:30 to go pee and then again at 5:30. So much for a good nights sleep. He will be sleeping downstairs this week as I am on earlies and need my sleep.
I had a really good week last week. It was only a four day week but, it felt like a six day week. We got a lot accomplished in a short time period. Friday was a tough day as it was over 40 with the humid ex. It was probably the hottest day of the year which is kind of funny as we are in September. I had a very close call with a tree. The heat must have gotten to me as I made a very poor decision and it almost cost me. Fortunately it barely grazed me as it fell. I gave my boss a pretty good scare and I think he was just thankful I was alright. I have done a tonne of tree work this year and never came close to putting myself in that position. I definitely learned a valuable lesson and will not make the same mistake again.
Mentally, I have been doing fairly well. I was actually quite proud of myself last Thursday. We had a bit of an incident with the Ferris as the exhaust was knocked off with a swing that Devin had put in the tree. Now I was not aware that Jessie and Devin were putting that particular swing in the tree to cut around the tree pit. I would have put that idea to rest if I had known as it was only an accident waiting to happen. I was riding the John Deere and saw Devin approaching me. I knew something shitty had happened. When he explained the situation, I was pretty pissed off. I could not be too upset with him as he had only been doing what Jessie had told him to do with the swing. We looked at the situation and I told him just to leave it and go push mow. There was nothing we could do at that point as the exhaust was still hot. Sometimes it is better to leave a problem and come back to it. We looked at the exhaust at break. We took off the bolt on the bracket and I banged it out a bit with a hammer. I then put the exhaust back on and fit it to the bracket again. My temporary fix up job worked and the machine was running well again. Now it does not seem like a big deal as fixing situations is ultimately part of the job. It was significant because in years past, this incident would have thrown me for the remainder of the day and perhaps the rest of the week. I would have been consumed with worry and dead set on focusing on the negative. My mind would have been racing a mile a minute and my mood would have slipped down dramatically. I handled it on Thursday really well and did not allow the situation to affect me drastically. I tried to look at is as an unfortunate situation. I could not control the fact that it happened but, could control my reaction to it and I am proud of myself for the way in which I carried myself.
My thoughts have been relatively balanced of late. I have been able to control them in a positive way. I still have many thoughts that should not be there and it is often difficult to navigate them. Thoughts can be very powerful and I have let them control me in the past. Now if I have thoughts that should not be there or are unhealthy, I tell them to fuck off or give them a finger. It seems to work for me for the most part. The odd time I may let something linger in my mind that is negative but, it has become easier for me to manage my mind. My mind continues to grow stronger and is healthier that it has ever been. I still have some pretty odd images as I close my eyes to go to sleep to night but, my one medication helps me with that so I can fall asleep a lot easier.
I use the NFL season as a bench mark for my year and I have made it to another season. So excited for kick off this afternoon. We are heading to Dave and Megs to watch the games and Jodi is making some soup for lunch. Dave and Megs had a beautiful baby girl named Madelyn a short time a go and I am looking forward to seeing her again today. I think Dave is pretty happy to be a father and I know they will make great parents.
I hope things in your life are going well. Have a great week. Take care, Shawn.
“Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.”
― Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
I had a really good week last week. It was only a four day week but, it felt like a six day week. We got a lot accomplished in a short time period. Friday was a tough day as it was over 40 with the humid ex. It was probably the hottest day of the year which is kind of funny as we are in September. I had a very close call with a tree. The heat must have gotten to me as I made a very poor decision and it almost cost me. Fortunately it barely grazed me as it fell. I gave my boss a pretty good scare and I think he was just thankful I was alright. I have done a tonne of tree work this year and never came close to putting myself in that position. I definitely learned a valuable lesson and will not make the same mistake again.
Mentally, I have been doing fairly well. I was actually quite proud of myself last Thursday. We had a bit of an incident with the Ferris as the exhaust was knocked off with a swing that Devin had put in the tree. Now I was not aware that Jessie and Devin were putting that particular swing in the tree to cut around the tree pit. I would have put that idea to rest if I had known as it was only an accident waiting to happen. I was riding the John Deere and saw Devin approaching me. I knew something shitty had happened. When he explained the situation, I was pretty pissed off. I could not be too upset with him as he had only been doing what Jessie had told him to do with the swing. We looked at the situation and I told him just to leave it and go push mow. There was nothing we could do at that point as the exhaust was still hot. Sometimes it is better to leave a problem and come back to it. We looked at the exhaust at break. We took off the bolt on the bracket and I banged it out a bit with a hammer. I then put the exhaust back on and fit it to the bracket again. My temporary fix up job worked and the machine was running well again. Now it does not seem like a big deal as fixing situations is ultimately part of the job. It was significant because in years past, this incident would have thrown me for the remainder of the day and perhaps the rest of the week. I would have been consumed with worry and dead set on focusing on the negative. My mind would have been racing a mile a minute and my mood would have slipped down dramatically. I handled it on Thursday really well and did not allow the situation to affect me drastically. I tried to look at is as an unfortunate situation. I could not control the fact that it happened but, could control my reaction to it and I am proud of myself for the way in which I carried myself.
My thoughts have been relatively balanced of late. I have been able to control them in a positive way. I still have many thoughts that should not be there and it is often difficult to navigate them. Thoughts can be very powerful and I have let them control me in the past. Now if I have thoughts that should not be there or are unhealthy, I tell them to fuck off or give them a finger. It seems to work for me for the most part. The odd time I may let something linger in my mind that is negative but, it has become easier for me to manage my mind. My mind continues to grow stronger and is healthier that it has ever been. I still have some pretty odd images as I close my eyes to go to sleep to night but, my one medication helps me with that so I can fall asleep a lot easier.
I use the NFL season as a bench mark for my year and I have made it to another season. So excited for kick off this afternoon. We are heading to Dave and Megs to watch the games and Jodi is making some soup for lunch. Dave and Megs had a beautiful baby girl named Madelyn a short time a go and I am looking forward to seeing her again today. I think Dave is pretty happy to be a father and I know they will make great parents.
I hope things in your life are going well. Have a great week. Take care, Shawn.
“Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.”
― Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
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