Damn Ankle

I am off today which is too bad.  This is the first day of work I have missed since I started this job.  I rolled my ankle at slow pitch last night.  It was not too bad last night but, it swelled up overnight and I was having trouble walking this morning.  I am going to ice it all day and hopefully get in to physiotherapy.  I am hoping to be back tomorrow.

Jodi and I had a really nice weekend.  We had a chance to got down to Toronto to play in a beach volleyball tournament with Matt and Beth.  I had not played volleyball in three years and it was awesome to be back in the sand again.  We did not finish with great results but, we had a lot of fun.  I found it difficult at times as I was definitely not even close to the beach player I used to be.  I was frustrated with myself as I know I could have played better.  In the end, it was just nice to play a sport again that was a big part of my life for a long time.  We are hoping to make it a yearly tradition.

On Sunday we helped Dave and Megs move in to their new house.  Their new place has a lot of charm and I think they are going to be really happy there.  I am going to have a chance to do some landscaping for them.  Not much had been done there as far as landscaping so there is a lot to be done.  It is good though in a way as they will have a blank canvas to make the property their own.  The move went extremely well.  Dave had a lot of help so things flew by.  I have been part of many moves over the years and this one had to be one of the best ones I have been a part of.  Jodi helped paint their living room and it came out really well.  The lay out of their new home is awesome and I especially love the flooring. They are expecting their second child any day now so they have a lot on their plate at the moment.  Looking forward to spending some more time with them once things settle down for them.

I am feeling pretty good mentally.  My mood has been fairly balanced and my thought processes have been fairly positive for the most part.  I still hope to progress daily and work on areas of my life that need improvement.  Today is a great day to be alive and I am going to try to make the best of the day.

Hope you are having a positive day.  Take care,  Shawn.


“Sometimes when I meet old friends, it reminds me how quickly time passes. And it makes me wonder if we've utilized our time properly or not. Proper utilization of time is so important. While we have this body, and especially this amazing human brain, I think every minute is something precious. Our day-to-day existence is very much alive with hope, although there is no guarantee of our future. There is no guarantee that tomorrow at this time we will be here. But we are working for that purely on the basis of hope. So, we need to make the best use of our time. I believe that the proper utilization of time is this: if you can, serve other people, other sentient beings. If not, at least refrain from harming them. I think that is the whole basis of my philosophy.

So, let us reflect what is truly of value in life, what gives meaning to our lives, and set our priorities on the basis of that. The purpose of our life needs to be positive. We weren't born with the purpose of causing trouble, harming others. For our life to be of value, I think we must develop basic good human qualities—warmth, kindness, compassion. Then our life becomes meaningful and more peaceful—happier.”
― Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness

Thankful

I have a rain day today.  First one we have had.  This rain is a welcome sight as we really have not had any sustained rain for a few months.  It has been  three or four years since we have had such a dry summer.  It has been a long time since I have seen the grass slow down this much.  Our lawn is not doing too well but, the same can be said for most of our neighborhood.  I am not worried about it at all.  In the big scheme of life, it is just a lawn.  Our front bed is still looking really good which is more important to me.

My new job is going extremely well.  I am working with really good people and have had absolutely no issues interacting with others at work.  It has been quite the opposite really.  There has been no fear, stress or anxiety.  I no longer bring home work with me every night and on weekends. This has made a world of difference in terms of my general happiness.  I have not enjoyed a summer this much in a very long time.  I have not had to work any weekends and have been off earlier every Friday except for one since I began this job.  I used to have a lot issues with my stomach but, that is no longer an issue.  No anxiety, no stomach issues.  My foreman is awesome to work for and has a very positive leadership style.  I work with one other guy who is great and the three of us work very well together.  We have a lot of fun when we work and we have finished some really nice projects.

Jodi and I are going to PEI for a week and August which I am really looking forward to.  My last vacation during a season did not go well and I spent the majority of it in a severe depression.  It will be nice not to have anything to worry about and simply enjoy my time a way.  It will be wonderful to see Bernie and Karen and spend some quality time together.  PEI is beautiful and I recommend visiting there is you ever have a chance.

I had a counseling appoint this week.  I am very happy with how my sessions have been going.  We work through a variety of issues and it gives me a chance to look for strategies to help navigate through certain struggles.  I have been getting better on not unloading too much on other people, instead using my sessions to talk through things with a professional.

Overall,  I am doing really well.  I still have areas of my life that I would like to improve but, I am feeling positive moving forward.  My mood still shifts at times and I still shut down on occasions but, it is slowly improving.  My mind does not race quite as often these days.  I still struggle at times with navigating certain thought patterns but, feel I am better suited to deal with them now.  I still have the occasional suicidal thought but, I no longer fixate on those thoughts for long periods of time.  I am not where I want to be yet but, if I look back ten years a go,  I have come leaps and bounds since then.  I am very thankful to be where I am and I am grateful to many people in my life for helping me reach this point.  Jodi is a huge part of where I am today and I am very fortunate to have her in my life.  Being married to someone with bi polar and an addictive nature is not an easy thing to deal with.  She is a special person and I am very proud to married to her.

Hope this finds you well.  Take care,  Shawn.

“I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living now.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist