Thoughts and Prayers

Just wanted to send out my thoughts and prayers to those who will be affected by Hurricane Sandy tonight.  This is probably the most intense storm I can remember in my life time.  The impact that it has had and will have on millions of people is alarming.  My thoughts also go out to the Bahamas and other island nations that have already been affected by Sandy's intense power.

I feel helpless.  I wish there was something I could do to change the course of this storm.  I will be asking the big guy to help keep people safe and that the strength of Sandy will diminish sooner than later.

Stay safe and find comfort in those close to you.

Take care,  Shawn

Early to Rise

I normally stay up a bit later on the weekend but,  Jodi and I were exhausted after a draining week.  We were in bed at 9:30 which may seem lame for a Friday night but,  I have no shame in getting the rest I need.  I awoke at 5:00 this morning which is not that abnormal for me.  I was having the most bizarre dream but,  I could not tell you what it was about.  I rarely have dreams anymore so it was an interesting experience last night.

I worried too much this week about things that were out of my control.  It really serves no purpose and I need to stop doing it to myself on a regular basis.  My friend seems to be in a better frame of mind but,  I have not heard from him so it is hard to say.  Work ended up going really well at the end of the week.  We were grass cutting machines and were able to finish our route on a shortened week.  I love cutting with Smitty.  We have such a good routine down and know exactly what the other guy is going to do next.  It makes life a lot easier for me and I will certainly miss him next year.

Some sad news from Jodi's side of the family.  Her second cousin passed a way.  He was killed in a work accident.  He worked for an oil company and a piece of machinery fell on him and unfortunately he did not survive.  He had just turned nineteen years old.  The last few months has proven to me that sometimes,  life does not make sense.  My condolences to his family and friends.

I was on our front porch this morning and looked out in to the night sky.  There was one star shining brighter than the rest and I knew that Amaya was watching over us.  I think about her every day and wish I could hold her in my arms.  I hope she knows that even though she may not be here on earth with us,  she is still a huge part of our lives.

When the sun decides to make an appearance this morning,  I am going to take Ollie for a good play at the arena.  I think I will cut the grass and do some fall clean up at our house and my parents place. I may go to Acton to pick up some fall fertilizer from my boss.  Our two lawns have really done well over the last few years and I want to continue that trend.  I am not feeling well so will probably rest up this afternoon and watch some college football.

Have a great weekend.  Happy Saturday.  Take care,  Shawn.

Expect the unexpected.

Happy Tuesday

I have had a great start to the week which is quite refreshing considering the lack of sleep on the weekend.  I always find Mondays the most difficult as it is a transition day and it is challenging at times.  I feel most people struggle with Mondays,  reminiscing about the weekend that was and hoping the next one was much closer.

We have finished up most of the big jobs for work.  There is one more stone job that we started today but,  I will be grass cutting for the next three days which I am really looking forward to.  I believe we have some top dressing on Friday to do after we finish our route but,  that is pretty easy considering the size of the property.  Then some odds and ends next week and then fall clean ups will start which means the end of the season is near.

I still cannot believe the beating the Broncos gave the Chargers last night in the second half.  I went to bed thinking the game was over at the half.  I am glad Manning stepped up as he helped me with my fantasy match up for the week.  Their defense played a big part in the comeback and should help them find the win column on a more consistent basis.

I am looking forward to the Yanks and Tigers tonight.  It seems like a foregone conclusion that the Tigers will take a 3-0 lead in the series with Verlander on the mound but,  I am not so sure.  Phelps has pitched well for the Bronx Bombers of late and their bats have to come alive at some point.  Justin has also struggled against New York at times so it should be an interesting night of ball.

Ollie is being a monkey so I better take him for a stroll.  It is getting dark too early for me to take him for a play during the week at the arena.  I feel bad I do not get to take him out more often but,  I do not get home till close to seven on some nights.  I will make it up to him in the winter and my dad is a wonderful help with him during the week.

That is it for now.  Think I may check out the debates later tonight.  I hope Obama has a better showing this time around and there is no way I want to see Romney as the President of our closest neighbor.

Happy Tuesday and take care,  Shawn.

In times of struggle,  keep loved ones closer than ever. 

A Dear Friend

I have a dear friend who is struggling immensely and I have been quite concerned for his well being.  The stress of not knowing how things will unfold has affected me deeply and I have had some tough days on my end.  I have to realize that as hard as it may be to accept,  I have no control of what may transpire in the next few weeks.  I can only be a support if called upon and pray for a positive outcome.

When I struggle mentally,  it affects me at work as my emotions are right on the surface,  ready to pour out.  Tuesday and Wednesday were a challenge and I even broke down crying a few times.  I was doing some work I had not done before and I get frustrated when I do not do the task right.  Jodi reinforced to me that I had to look after myself and not let my own health slide.  A sense of calm enveloped me on Thursday morning and I had two positive days on the job before the weekend.

I am really looking forward to the end of the season and an opportunity for some down time.  This is probably the longest I have been at one job without having extended time off in the last seven years.  I have not even taken a mental health day this year which is something I am proud of.  I am looking forward to sleeping in,  starting to read again and taking some long walks with Ollie.

Jodi and I had my dad over for dinner last night.  Was nice to connect and have some delicious meat pie together.  We even played some three handed euchre and my dad was the victor once again.  I watched the movie Goon and actually enjoyed the story line and the various characters.  I probably would not have gone to a theater to watch it but,  it was a good movie to view at home.

I better end my blog for now,  I may write some more later on today.  I hope you have an amazing Sunday.  Send some good vibes in to the universe for my friend if you don't mind.

Take care,  Shawn.

Weather the storm and the sun will shine through in its brilliance.

JOY

I am not quite sure why but,  I was filled with a great sense of joy today.  It was a beautiful fall day and the cool air invigorated my spirit. I did not worry about anything and just embraced the day that was.  I truly enjoyed the work I did and was proud of how our jobs turned out.  Just need some rain to help the top dressing and sod along in the next few weeks.  We even got off early which was a perfect end to the day.

I used to struggle immensely to find any joy within my life.  My mind was sick and it did not allow me to appreciate any aspect of daily life.  Now I have more instances of joy in my life and I am extremely thankful for that.  They do not come every day but,  I soak them in when they do happen as they make me feel alive.

I hope you find some joy in your life this week.  Take care,  Shawn.

Nature is part of healing the wounded soul.

Embrace the Pain

I had today off as I have developed a growth on the bottom of my foot.  I looks similar to a callous but, will not know for sure until I see the chiropodist in two weeks.  The problem lies in the fact that it is painful to walk on.  Just so happens that my profession requires me to be on my feet for the majority of the week.  So for the next few weeks,  I have to learn how to embrace the pain.  I cannot take the time off work to rest it so I will just have to convince my mind to push through for two weeks until I can see the foot doctor.  The nurse practitioner mentioned that it may be something called Mortons Neuroma but, we will have to see.

I mentioned in an earlier blog about embracing the shit.  I just have to apply the same philosophy to a physical ailment.  It may not be easy at times but,  I can look at as an opportunity to challenge myself.  There are thousands of people across Canada that deal with physical pain on a daily basis.  There is no reason I cannot do the same until I can get it treated properly.

Jodi and I were supposed to have date night but, think we might postpone it until tomorrow.  Jodi is pretty wiped at the end of the week and I need to soak my foot.  I took Ollie for an off leash adventure this morning and he did remarkably well.  He came to the car when it was time to go and chose not to make me chase after him for an hour.  Perhaps he is getting wiser with age.

I have some good news to pass along.  I got on to the on call list for the airport this winter to plow snow.  It pays really well and if we get a lot of snow,  it could help us immensely with saving for Dave's wedding and our hopes of purchasing this home.  The issue that we have to sort out soon is finding a second car.  I am hoping we can find a good used vehicle that won't break the bank.  I need reliable wheels as I could be called in to plow at anytime of day or night.  Thank you to Sheldon for giving me a shot,  won't let you down.

I am glad the NFL finally came to their senses and gave the officials what they deserved in the first place.  It boggles my mind how a billion dollar industry would have such hesitation in paying a crucial part of the game what they are worth.  As the first three weeks have shown,  it is not an easy job and not just anyone one can step in and do it successfully.

We are anxiously awaiting the season premier of Dexter on Sunday.  I know the show is kind of dark in nature but,  I love the writing and the psychology behind Dexter is interesting.

I truly hope you have an amazing weekend.  Take care,  Shawn.  Happy Friday!!!!

Pause before you make a decision.

Presidential Election

I was watching the Presidential candidates being interviewed on 60 minutes tonight.  I thought the interviewers did a remarkable job at getting at the tough, direct questions.  They certainly did not take it easy on the two men trying to earn the votes of the American public.

Romney did not impress me at all.  He talked in circles and never seemed to have a concise response to the questions.  I do not particularly like Romney.  There is just something about him that I do not trust. 

Obama did impress me with ability to answer some difficult questions.  I realize he has not been able to accomplish some of the objectives he set out to in his term but,  I would rather have him guiding the our neighbours to the south as opposed to  Romney.  Obama has a way with speaking.  If he can start to use his remarkable skills as an orator to aide him in passing some bills,  he will go a long way to make Americans proud.

I believe part of the problem comes back to George W Bush.  I still do not understand how he was voted in for one term,  let alone two.  Guess he has his brother and the state of Florida for getting that first term.  I still think Al Gore would have done wonders the American public.  Obama inherited the largest federal deficit in US history from the Bush administration.  Bush was primarily responsible for bailing out the banks to the tune of 700 billion dollars which to me,  is absolutely insane.  When individuals mismanage their money,  the government is not there to bail them out.  I think the fact that the Banks took that money borders on being criminal.  I was livid when I heard they passed that in congress.  I guess fat cats do look out for one an other.

The problems appears to be the great divide between the Republicans and the Democrats.  We see the same issues here in Canada, limiting the amount of production in politics. The Republicans and Democrats seem hell bent on disagreeing with each other on every significant policy reform.  That is why their is a sluggish amount of progress in terms of getting meaningful bills passed.  I do not have the answers but,  they need to start working together for the people, not their own interests.

I could go on all night about American politics but,  the Sunday night game is turning out to be a great battle so I think I will shut it down for the night.

Great leaders look out for the common man.  It is sad to see that it does not seem to be the norm these days.

Take care,  Shawn.