Been a While

I woke up today and my mind instantly started racing.  It was not a good start to the day.  Not sure why exactly as I did have a good sleep last night.  Too many things on my mind I guess.  I was just thinking far too much this morning and the negative thoughts were prevailing over the positive ones which in turn affected my mood.

I had another case of the downzies today and decided it was time I got in to see someone to help process some of my thoughts.  I have an appointment at Homewood Addictions Services with a great counselor who I have seen in the past.  I also had a chance to speak with a local therapist and I am thinking of setting something up with her as well to check in more regularly.  It is important for me to reach out for professional help which is something I have not been doing over the last year.  When I find counselors/therapists that I feel comfortable with, it helps me immensely to share my thoughts without worrying about being judged.  I always feel like a small weight has been lifted after good appointments and I leave feeling positive more times than not.

I wish this damn snow would melt.  The landscaping season is right around the corner and this weather and prolonged winter is going to make things difficult for us.  We have so much work to do before we can even start spring clean ups.  There is so much damage from the ice storm still and we will definitely have our work cut out for us.  I am scared of being overwhelmed early on but, I know we can only take it one day at a time.  I always have anxiety when the season approaches.  I have difficulty with transitions and I always worry that I will not be able to handle the various situations that arise in a long season.  I have proved that I am capable but, I always seem to doubt myself.  Jesse and Heather are coming back which is great.  I love working with both of them and they make getting through the difficult days a little easier.  As of right now, we are two people short from last year so hopefully manage alright.  I foresee quite a few six day weeks for the first month or so which is fine by me.  As long as we find ways as a team to limit some of the stress and work together to be an efficient unit.  I know we can find a way to get through,  we always do it seems.

I have not written in my blog for quite some time.  I have started writing a few times but, then lost interest or became distracted.  I really need to make more of an effort to write consistently as it always makes me feel better.  When I least feel like writing, I should write.  I am not writing to become famous or anything but, sharing some of my thoughts here is therapeutic for me.  If no one ever read these posts, it would still be beneficial for me to write.  It helps get some things off my mind and I truly enjoy the art of writing.

Before I go,  I just wanted to say how proud I was of all our Canadian athletes at the winter Olympics.  What an amazing journey they took us on over the two weeks and how well they represented our country.  The Olympics has become more commercial as the years have gone by but, their is still a purity that I love about the competition. Go Canada Go!!!!

Take care,  Shawn.

“Hide your craziness behind a beautiful smile. That's all you need.”
― Paulo Coelho