Empowering

I was planning on writing a bit more lately but, our lap top has been on the fritz.  Fortunately I was able to get it working today.

Last week, I had an amazing experience.  My friend Lincoln is a high school teacher.  He mentioned that his class was doing a unit on mental health and so I offered to speak to them about my experience.  He was chatting with his colleague and she asked if I would speak to two of her classes while I was up too.

I decided it was best to go up the night before.  Their first class was at 8:00.  I stayed with Lincoln and his wonderful wife Meghan. We have not really known each other for that long but, I feel as though I have known them for a really long time.  It was so nice to catch up with them and their two boys.  Lincoln and I had some amazing chats.  It was a little different not having Jodi there.  I missed her and Ollie a lot but, I know she supported me with what I was doing.

Now I have never formally talked openly to a group about my story of living with bi polar and two addictions.  I had been nervous for the few days leading up to it but, that washed a way when I went in to the class room.  I knew what I was about to do was important and I have no issue with sharing some of my story.  By sharing with these students, I was hoping to impact them in a positive way and make them realize that it is ok to share feelings and there is no shame in reaching out for help when they need it.

I had prepared well for this.  I had typed out what I wanted to say on four pages.  I also had 6 or 7 cue cards with some key points as well.  I was able to get a sling from my dad, George.  The purpose of the sling was to get the kids to differentiate between physical illness and mental illness.

The first class was grade 11 girls.  I had my sling on. I asked if any of them could tell what was wrong with me.  A few of the girls said that something was wrong with my arm.  I then tore off the sling and threw it to the side. My ploy had worked.  I then told them that there was currently nothing wrong with me physically but, that did not mean that I was not struggling internally. I think I got that point across well to them, that mental illness is not always visible.

I did look down a few times during the first class but, kept my presentation flowing well.  I was happy that I was able to maintain their attention for the duration of my talk.  I made sure to maintain eye contact with all of them and was impressed with their attentiveness.  I think part of it was that my story, was one they wanted to hear.  Having me there talking about mental health and addiction in person made it real.  They had a face to connect with it.

I shared my story with them.  Discussing when I first started showing symptoms in my life, telling them that it was close to their age. I talked about my first major depressive episode and how scary that was.  I talked about my struggle with addiction. I talked about the fact that my illness did not just affect me but, those around me. I shared that things have gotten better.  I shared some of the things that have helped me along the way.  I told them that they should value themselves and never give up on themselves.  I told them that there is always someone that cares about us and that they are never alone.  I told them that there is always some way to find help.  If one door for help shuts, then knock on the next door and do not stop fighting for yourself.  I talked about the importance of building self confidence and learning how to stand up for themselves.  I told them that I had thought about ending my life thousands of times but, have come out the other side because I found a way to fight through and never gave up.  I told them that each of us has great capacity within ourselves to overcome challenges in life.  I told them that I believed part of the reason I have got to this point in life was to be able to share my story with them and help them in their journey.

It was one of the most empowering moments of my life.  I know I connected with them on some level.  The other classes went amazingly well.  There were a few girls that stayed behind to talk to their teacher after I talked.  And one of the guys in Lincoln's class stayed behind after to talk to me as he told me he had a friend who was struggling with depression. 

I drove home that day with a smile on my face.  My story with mental illness and addiction was able to reach out to some young people and affect them positively in some way.  I hope I have another opportunity to speak as I felt quite comfortable doing it.  I want to be able to connect with others and make it easier to share feelings and struggles.  It was a really good day. :)

Enjoy your day.

Never give up hope.  It can get better and it will get better. Keep fighting.

Take care,  Shawn.