From One Year to the Next

I would like to wish everyone a happy new year.  Hope you had a great time celebrating with family and friends.

My 2014 was probably the best year I have had in twenty years.  I achieved a lot of things on a personal level and I am proud of myself.  I was able to finish my fourth year with the same company.  I have never been that long at one job without an extended period of time off.  I was able to finally get my DZ license after a long process with my medical.  I am very pleased with myself that I stuck it out and worked hard to obtain something that will only benefit me in the future.  I was able to pay down more of my debt and my credit rating is finally getting back to respectability.  I achieved five years sober in November which is a huge milestone for me.  I did not enter a casino for a second straight year which is huge.  I did not even play cards with friends once this year.  I was able to maintain strong relationships with my family and friends.  Jodi and I have grown as a couple in the last year and we seem to be moving in a really positive direction.  We are in the verge of buying our first house which is very exciting, hopefully it works out next week.

Of all the positive things for me in 2014, the thing that gives me hope moving forward, is the change within my mind.  I have not had such long duration's of mental stability in one year in my life.  There were challenging times but, I was able to brush them off a little easier than in the past.  I am more aware of my thoughts and how to manage them.  I have been steadfast in taking my medications and trying to maintain a regular sleep pattern.  I have dealt with depression in 2014 but, the intensity of those bouts of depression have significantly lessened in the last year.  I do not spend every waking moment worrying about things of no major consequence.  I have enjoyed my Sundays for once which has made a huge difference in my weeks throughout the year.  Suicidal thoughts have drastically decreased over the last year.  I rarely have thoughts of ending my life and when I do, they are brief in duration.  I think they have lessened as the pain that I have felt in the past has slowly evaporated.  I have been able to look at the bright side of life and feel certain amounts of joy in life.  I am very thankful for the progress my mind has made this year and hopefully it will continue to grow stronger.

2015 is shaping up to be a good year.  As I mentioned, we are very close to purchasing our first house.  It has taken a lot of hard work to get to this point but, we stuck at it and it looks as though it may actually become a reality.  We have a trip to Florida booked in March and it will be awesome to spend some time with Bernie and Karen.  I am hoping to take a week off in the summer and visit them in PEI as well this summer.  I have not been there in over five years and a trip there for me is long overdue.

I would like to continue to grow this year.  I want to build on things I learned in 2014 and use them to help me grow stronger this year.  I want to become a better communicator.  I want to become better with money and budgeting properly.  I want to continue to share my story with others and help break stigmas surrounding mental health.  I would like to speak in front of youth and show them that they are not alone in whatever they may be struggling with.  I want to be a better husband.  I want to be a better son.  I want to be a better brother.  I want to be a better friend.  I want to put others first more often.  I want to push myself to be a better person everyday.  I want to continually challenge my mind with managing my thoughts effectively.  I want to push myself not to dwell on negatives or past failures but, to work hard at making a better future.  I would not really call these resolutions,  just aspects of my life that I want to continue to work on.

I truly wish you all the best in 2015.  Take care,  Shawn.

“May Light always surround you;
Hope kindle and rebound you.
May your Hurts turn to Healing;
Your Heart embrace Feeling.
May Wounds become Wisdom;
Every Kindness a Prism.
May Laughter infect you;
Your Passion resurrect you.
May Goodness inspire
your Deepest Desires.
Through all that you Reach For,
May your arms Never Tire.”
― D. Simone