Seems like an eternity since I have written in my blog. It is not because I have lost interest in the endeavor but, that I have been physically exhausted.
I finished my first full week of landscaping today which is a big success for me. It was encouraging to be back at something I am familiar with. It will be nice to earn a pay check every week again too.
The last time I wrote in my blog, I mentioned that I was going to focus on breaking the day in to small blocks of time. This seems to be working wonders for me so far. I was not too overwhelmed mentally for a long duration of time. I had one "bi-polar" moment where I had to walk a way for a couple of minutes to collect myself because I was becoming a bit emotional. I take comments that are meant to be constructive criticism far too personally and it throws me off at times. This was one of those moments but, it did not last long which is a good sign.
I am working with Smitty again this year. He is a great guy and a lot of fun to work with. We work extremely well together and get in a good rhythm. I am so glad he is back as I would feel lost without him there. It is not that I do not know what I am doing, it just gives me more confidence knowing that someone is there to answer any questions I may have. It looks like we may end up having a new addition to the crew this year so it may take a while to create the same cohesion that Smitty and I have.
I did a lot of digging this week. We had to take a lot of plants at a property and it really works your back muscles. I have to get some A535 to rub in at night to help as I have always dealt with back pain at various stages in my life. I used the tractor to load some gravel in to a bed which was fun. It was damn scary at first as there was some tricky slopes to deal with but, felt good to finish the job right.
My favorite part of the week was doing some spring pruning. Pruning plants is something I pride myself on and is a skill that I seem to have a knack for. We have an Echo at work and I love that machine. I am definitely going to get one down the road when our budget allows it. There is something about pruning plants that blocks everything else out. My thoughts are gone, there is no anxiety or stress and none of the blues. Just me and the plant. Guess you could relate it to a pitcher in baseball who gets in a zone and can shut the crowd noise out. When I am done shaping a plant, it gives me a sense of joy. Now if I could just figure out how to get in to that pruning zone in other aspects of my life, life would become simple.
We are taking it easy this weekend. Jodi has her skating carnival tomorrow and then she is done for the year. Beach volleyball starts in a month which we are looking forward too. Guess we should try to squeeze in a round of golf sometime this summer too. Still cannot believe it snowed today after the amazing weather we had a few weeks a go.
A smile can go a long way to making someones day.
Take care, Shawn.
Friday, 30 March 2012
Thursday, 22 March 2012
The Long and Winding Road
Sometimes I feel that Beatles song describes what I have been on for the last twenty years, a long and winding road. I often tell others that living with bi-polar is like being on a roller coaster you cannot get off. A coaster goes up, down, upside down, in circles and levels out on occasion. That is the best way I could describe what I have lived through.
I checked out a cool website the other day. It is www.mindcheck.ca. It was started in part by Kevin Bieksa of the Canucks to get the discussion going regarding mental health. Kevin lost his good friend, Rick Rypien, to suicide. From what I have heard about Rick, he was of great character and always putting others first. I think this website is a great tool for those looking for help or people looking to find out more about mental illness. There is also the opportunity to take a pledge for mental health, you should really give it a look.
Tomorrow, I am working again which made my mind kind wander a bit. I cried a little but really do feel better than on Monday. I already have one successful day in the books so it will definitely be a little easier tomorrow. I start full time next week which I am actually looking forward too. Having the winter off was great but, having more of a routine will be good for me. I am going to try to break the day in to sections. Not looking at finishing the day, just finishing the first two hours. Then finishing to lunch and so on. I think if I can challenge myself to do this every day, I will be more successful.
I heard The Longest Time by Billy Joel sung on American Idol. It was on when I came back from a milk run and really perked me up. It is one of favorite songs of all time and you cannot help feeling good when you hear it.
I am heading to bed now, early wake up call in the morning. I take risperidone (not sure of spelling) at night which really helps me sleep. I used to have trouble at night because my mind would race relentlessly and restless nights would follow. The meds help slow the thought process down and I normally sleep like a baby now.
Hope this finds you in good spirits.
Take care, Shawn.
I checked out a cool website the other day. It is www.mindcheck.ca. It was started in part by Kevin Bieksa of the Canucks to get the discussion going regarding mental health. Kevin lost his good friend, Rick Rypien, to suicide. From what I have heard about Rick, he was of great character and always putting others first. I think this website is a great tool for those looking for help or people looking to find out more about mental illness. There is also the opportunity to take a pledge for mental health, you should really give it a look.
Tomorrow, I am working again which made my mind kind wander a bit. I cried a little but really do feel better than on Monday. I already have one successful day in the books so it will definitely be a little easier tomorrow. I start full time next week which I am actually looking forward too. Having the winter off was great but, having more of a routine will be good for me. I am going to try to break the day in to sections. Not looking at finishing the day, just finishing the first two hours. Then finishing to lunch and so on. I think if I can challenge myself to do this every day, I will be more successful.
I heard The Longest Time by Billy Joel sung on American Idol. It was on when I came back from a milk run and really perked me up. It is one of favorite songs of all time and you cannot help feeling good when you hear it.
I am heading to bed now, early wake up call in the morning. I take risperidone (not sure of spelling) at night which really helps me sleep. I used to have trouble at night because my mind would race relentlessly and restless nights would follow. The meds help slow the thought process down and I normally sleep like a baby now.
Hope this finds you in good spirits.
Take care, Shawn.
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
The Batmobile
Life can be hilarious sometimes.
Tuesday was my first day back to work in four months, I was off for the winter. Going back to work came with a rush of anxiety and fear. I have a hell of a time with transitions and always plan for the worst in my head. The day before I went back I was having quite a shitty day. My mood was all over the place. Felt like I was having panic attacks. I spent part of the day sobbing like a baby. I know this sounds like a bit much but, that is where my mind takes me sometimes. Taking the car for a cross country tour sounded like a much better idea than facing going back to work.
So with all that build up, Tuesday came. Jodi had sent me an e-mail the previous night telling me that I could borrow her belief in me until I found my own. This was an amazing gesture and helped my confidence immensely. I woke up feeling not too bad about the day ahead. Had my morning coffees, walked Ollie and headed out the door for my twenty five minute drive to work.
About five minutes in to my drive, the strangest thing happened. I saw the Batmobile approaching on the opposite side of the road. That's right, I said the Batmobile. I had to take a second look to make sure I was not hallucinating but, there it was. I am not saying it was the one from the movie but, it was a Batmobile nonetheless. Pretty damn funny!
So after that, I knew that the day was going to be not too bad. I mean, how do you have a bad day after seeing a Batmobile on the way to work. I worked with my boss at his house. Their septic bed had to be replaced. Their backyard looked like a mine field. I did a lot of digging and shoveling. It was a pretty hot day for March so I worked up a good sweat. It was pretty physical work after being off for so long but, I think it went well. I have never cheated anyone when it comes to manual labor. I always work as hard as I possibly can. I ran out of steam near the end of the day but, think I did pretty well considering.
The interesting aspect of all this is that things in my life are never as bad as I imagine them to be. All that stress and anxiety for what turned out to be a really good day. I think I will attempt to take things in stride a little more often. Life is so complex at times so why waste time focusing on what "might" happen in the future and enjoying more of the journey. I will let you know how that works out for me.
I hope that if any of you are struggling on a certain day, that you too will see a Batmobile on the way to work.
Take care, Shawn.
Tuesday was my first day back to work in four months, I was off for the winter. Going back to work came with a rush of anxiety and fear. I have a hell of a time with transitions and always plan for the worst in my head. The day before I went back I was having quite a shitty day. My mood was all over the place. Felt like I was having panic attacks. I spent part of the day sobbing like a baby. I know this sounds like a bit much but, that is where my mind takes me sometimes. Taking the car for a cross country tour sounded like a much better idea than facing going back to work.
So with all that build up, Tuesday came. Jodi had sent me an e-mail the previous night telling me that I could borrow her belief in me until I found my own. This was an amazing gesture and helped my confidence immensely. I woke up feeling not too bad about the day ahead. Had my morning coffees, walked Ollie and headed out the door for my twenty five minute drive to work.
About five minutes in to my drive, the strangest thing happened. I saw the Batmobile approaching on the opposite side of the road. That's right, I said the Batmobile. I had to take a second look to make sure I was not hallucinating but, there it was. I am not saying it was the one from the movie but, it was a Batmobile nonetheless. Pretty damn funny!
So after that, I knew that the day was going to be not too bad. I mean, how do you have a bad day after seeing a Batmobile on the way to work. I worked with my boss at his house. Their septic bed had to be replaced. Their backyard looked like a mine field. I did a lot of digging and shoveling. It was a pretty hot day for March so I worked up a good sweat. It was pretty physical work after being off for so long but, I think it went well. I have never cheated anyone when it comes to manual labor. I always work as hard as I possibly can. I ran out of steam near the end of the day but, think I did pretty well considering.
The interesting aspect of all this is that things in my life are never as bad as I imagine them to be. All that stress and anxiety for what turned out to be a really good day. I think I will attempt to take things in stride a little more often. Life is so complex at times so why waste time focusing on what "might" happen in the future and enjoying more of the journey. I will let you know how that works out for me.
I hope that if any of you are struggling on a certain day, that you too will see a Batmobile on the way to work.
Take care, Shawn.
Sunday, 18 March 2012
The Sun is Back Baby!!!!
The sun has been back in full force this week, filling the sky with its brilliance. I almost feel guilty for the beautiful week we had as so many went down south for the march break. They will come back to the life that spring has injected in to our lives here.
The great weather means that work is right around the corner. It did not work out in Fergus so I have decided to go back to the same landscaping company as last year. I do enjoy the work, am good at it and enjoy the people I work with. It is a good fit for me. I think it was hard for Jodi to understand my hesitation about going back to such a good situation. I realize all the positive aspects of the job but, my mind always plans for the worst case scenario. I am already worrying about situations that are not even here yet. I think that once I get the first day out of the way, it might become easier for me mentally. I just get so anxious with the build up to going back after being a way for the last four months. I am more aware of my moods now and hopefully will be better suited to handle challenges. Of course there are going to be some tough days but, I am going to attempt to take it one step at a time. The only day I need to worry about right now is today. Tomorrow is not here yet and Yesterday is gone. I am also going to try not to rush things at work. I was always in such a hurry to finish jobs instead of appreciating the individual steps in the process.
I went to a therapy session with a guy named Steve on Friday. It had been quite some time since I have talked to someone in that setting. It was not too bad, always good to let things out a bit. He specializes in cognitive behavior therapy which I have some experience with. There are aspects of this particular therapy I can apply to my life but, I am looking for something a little different. Steve is also a lot older so it may be hard for me to relate to. I also have had the best connections with therapists that have been through similar struggles as me which I am quite certain, he has not. The best counselor I have ever talked to was a guy named John. He had been through similar struggles in his life, was a great listener and gave me some great insight to facing life with conviction. I think I might e-mail him to see if he can recommend somebody. Think that was the first and last 150 dollar session with Steve, I am in the wrong business.
Take care, Shawn
"Laughter is a key to happiness"
The great weather means that work is right around the corner. It did not work out in Fergus so I have decided to go back to the same landscaping company as last year. I do enjoy the work, am good at it and enjoy the people I work with. It is a good fit for me. I think it was hard for Jodi to understand my hesitation about going back to such a good situation. I realize all the positive aspects of the job but, my mind always plans for the worst case scenario. I am already worrying about situations that are not even here yet. I think that once I get the first day out of the way, it might become easier for me mentally. I just get so anxious with the build up to going back after being a way for the last four months. I am more aware of my moods now and hopefully will be better suited to handle challenges. Of course there are going to be some tough days but, I am going to attempt to take it one step at a time. The only day I need to worry about right now is today. Tomorrow is not here yet and Yesterday is gone. I am also going to try not to rush things at work. I was always in such a hurry to finish jobs instead of appreciating the individual steps in the process.
I went to a therapy session with a guy named Steve on Friday. It had been quite some time since I have talked to someone in that setting. It was not too bad, always good to let things out a bit. He specializes in cognitive behavior therapy which I have some experience with. There are aspects of this particular therapy I can apply to my life but, I am looking for something a little different. Steve is also a lot older so it may be hard for me to relate to. I also have had the best connections with therapists that have been through similar struggles as me which I am quite certain, he has not. The best counselor I have ever talked to was a guy named John. He had been through similar struggles in his life, was a great listener and gave me some great insight to facing life with conviction. I think I might e-mail him to see if he can recommend somebody. Think that was the first and last 150 dollar session with Steve, I am in the wrong business.
Take care, Shawn
"Laughter is a key to happiness"
Thursday, 15 March 2012
Spring is Here
Spring is here. The snow is gone, the birds are alive and the rain is a welcome sight. I cannot wait to cut the grass, rake the lawn out and edge our front bed.
I have decided to go back to work with the same landscape company. They know my situation, I enjoy the work and love being outside. There will always be some tough days mentally but, am looking forward to the challenge. It will be nice to earn a steady pay check again too. Normally we start April 1rst but, my boss might have some work for me next week. It took a while for me to come to terms with going back to work. It was not a matter of me knowing that this was a good choice for me. I get scared because I have struggled so much in employment situations so it was important to finally make a decision. I am going to approach it as an opportunity to succeed at something I am good at. It feels amazing going back to the same company for an entire season. I have always jumped from job to job but, I have a better feeling about this year. One day at a time, focusing on positive aspects instead of dwelling on negatives.
March Madness starts today. I cannot wait for the intense basketball action. I picked Florida State to win it all in my bracket. I watched them play last weekend and there is just something about the way they play the game that intrigues me. Tip offs are at noon so I will have my ass on the couch for a few hours this afternoon.
We are heading down to dinner tonight in Oakville. Looking forward to seeing my sister, brother in law and my nephew. I love visiting them and catching up on their lives.
Hope this finds you well.
Take care, Shawn
I have decided to go back to work with the same landscape company. They know my situation, I enjoy the work and love being outside. There will always be some tough days mentally but, am looking forward to the challenge. It will be nice to earn a steady pay check again too. Normally we start April 1rst but, my boss might have some work for me next week. It took a while for me to come to terms with going back to work. It was not a matter of me knowing that this was a good choice for me. I get scared because I have struggled so much in employment situations so it was important to finally make a decision. I am going to approach it as an opportunity to succeed at something I am good at. It feels amazing going back to the same company for an entire season. I have always jumped from job to job but, I have a better feeling about this year. One day at a time, focusing on positive aspects instead of dwelling on negatives.
March Madness starts today. I cannot wait for the intense basketball action. I picked Florida State to win it all in my bracket. I watched them play last weekend and there is just something about the way they play the game that intrigues me. Tip offs are at noon so I will have my ass on the couch for a few hours this afternoon.
We are heading down to dinner tonight in Oakville. Looking forward to seeing my sister, brother in law and my nephew. I love visiting them and catching up on their lives.
Hope this finds you well.
Take care, Shawn
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Censorship
Jodi and I watch a lot of television and listen to the radio quite a bit. I find our society is a bit backwards in terms of censorship. I find it hilarious that they bleep out words like shit and blur someone giving the middle finger at the super bowl. I find this so funny because at the same time, they have gruesome displays of human behavior on shows such as Criminal Minds and Dexter. Don't get me wrong, I love both those shows. I just do not understand why profanity is on the outs with the censors but, human mutilation is in. I also saw a Victoria Secret commercial today where the women had nothing on but their under wear, breasts protruding for the world to see. Again, I am not averse to these particular commercials but, how is it alright for an eight year old to watch this stuff and not be able to hear profanities. Have you been on a school play ground in the last thirty years, kids are already quite in tune with the variety of "cuss" words available to their vocabulary. Does the CRTC think that when they bleep something out on the radio, general IQ of its listeners cannot fathom a guess as to what the words are. I do not have the answers, just wanted to provide my opinion as I find it all quite comical.
Hope to write again tomorrow.
Happy Tuesday
Shawn
Hope to write again tomorrow.
Happy Tuesday
Shawn
Sunday, 11 March 2012
Beautiful Day for the Blues
I have been feeling a little down lately, stressing about events that are not even here yet. Today was just what the doctor ordered. It was thirteen degrees and the sun was shining down through the clear blue sky. I know we have not had much of a winter but, today was a welcome sight. I believe winter affects the moods of a lot of us and the upcoming spring and summer will help get the right endorphin's going in the brain again.
Jodi and I went for a great walk with Ollie today. It was amazing seeing everyone out enjoying the fresh air like bears coming out of hibernation for the first time. The side walks are often like ghost towns through the winter months and the weather today brought some life back to our town. The grass was a welcome sight, cannot wait to get the mower going again. I take great pride in my lines as Jodi will tell you.
It is a funny thing. Every time I feel I cannot face an upcoming challenge, something joyful shows itself to me. Today was the beautiful weather. Sometimes it is a song on the radio. Ollie may greet me at the door wagging his tail profusely. Is it divine intervention, perhaps. What I do know is that I am very thankful for the positive energy that does fly in when I really need it. It keeps things in perspective for me and helps me stay focused on living strong.
Read something inspiring this week. Take care, Shawn
Jodi and I went for a great walk with Ollie today. It was amazing seeing everyone out enjoying the fresh air like bears coming out of hibernation for the first time. The side walks are often like ghost towns through the winter months and the weather today brought some life back to our town. The grass was a welcome sight, cannot wait to get the mower going again. I take great pride in my lines as Jodi will tell you.
It is a funny thing. Every time I feel I cannot face an upcoming challenge, something joyful shows itself to me. Today was the beautiful weather. Sometimes it is a song on the radio. Ollie may greet me at the door wagging his tail profusely. Is it divine intervention, perhaps. What I do know is that I am very thankful for the positive energy that does fly in when I really need it. It keeps things in perspective for me and helps me stay focused on living strong.
Read something inspiring this week. Take care, Shawn
Friday, 9 March 2012
Strengh of a Woman
I would be remiss if I did not write a blog about the most important person in my life, my wife Jodi.
Jodi and I met ten years a go. She is from Nova Scotia and is a proud east coast girl. We have been married for three years now and live in our little house in Fergus with our dog Ollie.
She is a remarkable woman. Her strength of character and passion for life inspires me. It would have been easy for her to give up on me long a go but, she saw something in me worth fighting for. I would never have got to this point in my life without her love, support and sacrifice. Jodi is my Angel in this crazy world and I appreciate everything she brings to our relationship.
Jodi pushes me when I need to be pushed. She is there to hold me when I need to be held. She kicks me in the butt when I need one. She listens when I need to be heard. She is a ray of sunshine in some of my stormy days.
We are not the perfect couple as I do not believe that exists. We argue and push each others buttons at times but, we work at it. If anyone tells you that a relationship is easy, they are lying. It is a growing process and you have to be willing to revel in the good times together and pick one another up in the bad. It is a marathon, not a sprint.
I am so grateful that Jodi is in my life. I look forward to seeing what the future has in store for us, one day at a time.
ttt
Jodi and I met ten years a go. She is from Nova Scotia and is a proud east coast girl. We have been married for three years now and live in our little house in Fergus with our dog Ollie.
She is a remarkable woman. Her strength of character and passion for life inspires me. It would have been easy for her to give up on me long a go but, she saw something in me worth fighting for. I would never have got to this point in my life without her love, support and sacrifice. Jodi is my Angel in this crazy world and I appreciate everything she brings to our relationship.
Jodi pushes me when I need to be pushed. She is there to hold me when I need to be held. She kicks me in the butt when I need one. She listens when I need to be heard. She is a ray of sunshine in some of my stormy days.
We are not the perfect couple as I do not believe that exists. We argue and push each others buttons at times but, we work at it. If anyone tells you that a relationship is easy, they are lying. It is a growing process and you have to be willing to revel in the good times together and pick one another up in the bad. It is a marathon, not a sprint.
I am so grateful that Jodi is in my life. I look forward to seeing what the future has in store for us, one day at a time.
ttt
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Random
Just got back from the gym. Had a great work out. I am probably in the best shape I have been in for quite some time which feels good. The gym also occupies my mind and allows me to focus on a positive energy. Every time I finish there, I feel refreshed.
I am watching some NCAA hoops. The madness is approaching fast and I can't wait. There is no better tournament in the world than the NCAA basketball championship. I like North Carolina to win it all and think Murray State can make a good push too. I love the intensity of college athletics. The passion, the attention to detail and the competitiveness is something that often lacks in professional sports.
I think I have found my passion in life. I have always loved to write. This blog has affirmed that for me and I have loved every key stroke of this. Now if I can only find a way to make some sort of living out of this, I will be set. So if you are a publisher, screen writer or editor, give me a call. I am have some pretty interesting stories to write about. I believe there is a need for more stories surrounding mental health in the general media. Who knows, maybe this blog will launch my literary career.
For now, I am planning on going back to landscaping in April. I love being outside and transforming properties in to things of beauty. As I mentioned, I am scared of going back based on past work experiences. My mind tends to race a lot when I work and it is not always too pleasant. The good thing about the company that I will probably go back to is that they know my situation and are more than accommodating. Going to meet with my boss on the weekend to see where I stand for the season. Would be awesome to work in town but, does not look like that will work out.
Anyway, our lap top battery is gonna die. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Shawn
Laughter is a key to happiness.
I am watching some NCAA hoops. The madness is approaching fast and I can't wait. There is no better tournament in the world than the NCAA basketball championship. I like North Carolina to win it all and think Murray State can make a good push too. I love the intensity of college athletics. The passion, the attention to detail and the competitiveness is something that often lacks in professional sports.
I think I have found my passion in life. I have always loved to write. This blog has affirmed that for me and I have loved every key stroke of this. Now if I can only find a way to make some sort of living out of this, I will be set. So if you are a publisher, screen writer or editor, give me a call. I am have some pretty interesting stories to write about. I believe there is a need for more stories surrounding mental health in the general media. Who knows, maybe this blog will launch my literary career.
For now, I am planning on going back to landscaping in April. I love being outside and transforming properties in to things of beauty. As I mentioned, I am scared of going back based on past work experiences. My mind tends to race a lot when I work and it is not always too pleasant. The good thing about the company that I will probably go back to is that they know my situation and are more than accommodating. Going to meet with my boss on the weekend to see where I stand for the season. Would be awesome to work in town but, does not look like that will work out.
Anyway, our lap top battery is gonna die. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Shawn
Laughter is a key to happiness.
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
A Bit Off
I am feeling a bit off today. Cannot quite put my finger on it as my day was not too different than most. Guess I am getting scared of going back to work in a month. I am still not sure exactly where that will be but, anxiety always follows me when transitioning back in to employment. I am good at landscaping so I really have no reason to be nervous. I know what to expect and know that it is something I can be successful at. Self doubt always creeps in when it comes to jobs. I always doubt and second guess myself. I worry about things I do not need to worry about and my mood often deteriorates.
I did not get to the gym today so that could have something to do with my mind set. I always feel better after I work out. I did not go today because I did squats for the first time in a long time and my back is now killing me. I will make a point to go tomorrow.
I am also nervous about our future real estate ventures. The house we are living in is going to be sold in the next few months. We rent from our family and they would like to sell. So we can either buy this one or look at purchasing our first home elsewhere. We are not exactly living large so the financial pressure of buying a home is stressful for me. I know it will all work out somehow but, I feel overwhelmed by it all. I really enjoy living in this house and ultimately would like to stay. Hopefully we can make it happen.
I did walk Ollie today but, did not get the same enjoyment out of it that I usually do. I was just in one of those moods that I get stuck in some times. Ollie did not get to go off leash today as yesterday was quite the adventure. Maybe we will try again tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a new day and as my Dad always says, "This too will pass".
Happy Wednesday
Shawn
I did not get to the gym today so that could have something to do with my mind set. I always feel better after I work out. I did not go today because I did squats for the first time in a long time and my back is now killing me. I will make a point to go tomorrow.
I am also nervous about our future real estate ventures. The house we are living in is going to be sold in the next few months. We rent from our family and they would like to sell. So we can either buy this one or look at purchasing our first home elsewhere. We are not exactly living large so the financial pressure of buying a home is stressful for me. I know it will all work out somehow but, I feel overwhelmed by it all. I really enjoy living in this house and ultimately would like to stay. Hopefully we can make it happen.
I did walk Ollie today but, did not get the same enjoyment out of it that I usually do. I was just in one of those moods that I get stuck in some times. Ollie did not get to go off leash today as yesterday was quite the adventure. Maybe we will try again tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a new day and as my Dad always says, "This too will pass".
Happy Wednesday
Shawn
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
Ollie
Ollie is my two year old yellow lab. I never understood the reference to " man's best friend " until we got him. I am not sure if we will ever have children but, Ollie is definitely part of the family. He came in to our lives at exactly the right time. I was on disability leave from the school board and not really sure what lay in store for me. I was sixty pounds over weight and not too motivated to do anything. The week before we got him, I started going back to the gym. I was tired of being a lump and wanted to change some things. When we got Ollie, he helped me stay motivated to shed the pounds. Walking every day with him certainly helped and also chasing after him when he did not come back to me.
I highly recommend getting a dog for anyone struggling with a mental illness. Dogs do not judge you. They love you unconditionally. Even if you have had a really shitty day, they still wag their tail when they see you. I am not sure if Ollie really comprehends the impact he has made on our lives. He is one of the positive affirmations in my mind to keep me pushing through life. Jodi is not a dog person but, she too has fallen for our boy.
When I was not motivated to do anything, I still knew that I had to walk Ollie. So I would walk him and things I was worrying about did not seem that important anymore. Fresh air and exercise are very therapeutic for mind, body and soul. Dogs help the healing process.
I made the mistake of watching Marley and Me soon after we got Ollie. It was a beautiful story but, the ending is heart wrenching. I still ball my eyes out when I watch it. I know Ollie is not immortal but, I cannot fathom the day when we have to make that decision. I am getting sad now just writing about it.
Ollie is amazing and I am so thankful for the gift of his companionship.
Bye for now, Shawn.
I highly recommend getting a dog for anyone struggling with a mental illness. Dogs do not judge you. They love you unconditionally. Even if you have had a really shitty day, they still wag their tail when they see you. I am not sure if Ollie really comprehends the impact he has made on our lives. He is one of the positive affirmations in my mind to keep me pushing through life. Jodi is not a dog person but, she too has fallen for our boy.
When I was not motivated to do anything, I still knew that I had to walk Ollie. So I would walk him and things I was worrying about did not seem that important anymore. Fresh air and exercise are very therapeutic for mind, body and soul. Dogs help the healing process.
I made the mistake of watching Marley and Me soon after we got Ollie. It was a beautiful story but, the ending is heart wrenching. I still ball my eyes out when I watch it. I know Ollie is not immortal but, I cannot fathom the day when we have to make that decision. I am getting sad now just writing about it.
Ollie is amazing and I am so thankful for the gift of his companionship.
Bye for now, Shawn.
Monday, 5 March 2012
National Champs Baby!!!
Just got back from CIS Volleyball Championships in Kingston. I am happy to announce that the Trinity Western Spartans repeated as gold medalists . Was an amazing weekend of volleyball and was capped off with a thrilling fourth set victory by the Spartans. Queens did an excellent job as the hosts and the fans were treated to some thrilling volleyball action.
It was awesome to see my bro Ryan over the weekend. We do not get to see each other too often so I truly enjoyed spending some quality time with him. So proud of his work at Trinity and with Volleyball Canada. He knows more about volleyball techniques and systems than I ever will.
While in Kingston, we probably went to the worst breakfast joint ever. If you are ever visiting Kingston, do not go to Morrisons in the downtown core. Let me just say that it was not appetizing.
The weekend was important for Jodi and I as well. We do not get a way too often and was great to re-connect with each other. We even managed to shop together for a few hours without incident. ( I do not normally do well at shopping) We had wonderful dinner at Lone Star down by the water. I highly recommend it and suggest trying the fajitas. The service was amazing.
We had a chance to go for some walks down by the water and have a few saunas at the hotel. I think it is important for couples to get a way a few times a year together. It helps break the monotony of every day life and brings some of the romance back in to a relationship. Jodi even missed skating for the first time to stay for the whole weekend which I really appreciate.
I had a pretty good day today. I had a solid work out although my hamstring is killing me from squats. I have some other prospects for the upcoming landscaping season which is always nice. I am not sure what I want to do in April but, am looking forward to getting back to work. I have to make some phone calls and make some decisions in the next few weeks. I took Ollie for a good play at the arena and finished sorting some paper work.
I had the downzies for a bit but, got over them in short order today. My mind seems to be more at peace these days and am cautiously optimistic about where I am at mentally.
Hope you are having a marvelous Monday. Take care. Shawn
It was awesome to see my bro Ryan over the weekend. We do not get to see each other too often so I truly enjoyed spending some quality time with him. So proud of his work at Trinity and with Volleyball Canada. He knows more about volleyball techniques and systems than I ever will.
While in Kingston, we probably went to the worst breakfast joint ever. If you are ever visiting Kingston, do not go to Morrisons in the downtown core. Let me just say that it was not appetizing.
The weekend was important for Jodi and I as well. We do not get a way too often and was great to re-connect with each other. We even managed to shop together for a few hours without incident. ( I do not normally do well at shopping) We had wonderful dinner at Lone Star down by the water. I highly recommend it and suggest trying the fajitas. The service was amazing.
We had a chance to go for some walks down by the water and have a few saunas at the hotel. I think it is important for couples to get a way a few times a year together. It helps break the monotony of every day life and brings some of the romance back in to a relationship. Jodi even missed skating for the first time to stay for the whole weekend which I really appreciate.
I had a pretty good day today. I had a solid work out although my hamstring is killing me from squats. I have some other prospects for the upcoming landscaping season which is always nice. I am not sure what I want to do in April but, am looking forward to getting back to work. I have to make some phone calls and make some decisions in the next few weeks. I took Ollie for a good play at the arena and finished sorting some paper work.
I had the downzies for a bit but, got over them in short order today. My mind seems to be more at peace these days and am cautiously optimistic about where I am at mentally.
Hope you are having a marvelous Monday. Take care. Shawn
Thursday, 1 March 2012
The Bi-Polar Express
I am not sure if anyone will ever actually read this blog but, thought it relevant to share some things about myself. I am 36 year old and have bi-polar 2 disorder which is a clinical form of depression. If I look back at my life, I probably started showing signs/symptoms in the later stages of high school. I did not know back then what a mental disorder was and just thought I was different from others. Bi-Polar 1 is more of the manic side of things. Bi-Polar 2 is more on the depressive side. I have struggled immensely with many of the challenges that depression brings with it. Irrational decision making, suicidal thoughts, addictive behavior, social challenges, academic struggles, employment issues are just some of the permeating issues I have dealt with.
The reason I am here today is because of the strong bonds I have maintained with friends and family. If I had not had those in my life, I am certain I would not be writing in this blog today. I started writing this blog in hopes that perhaps others struggling with mental illness may find hope in some of my stories. I also started writing this blog as a form of therapy. I strongly suggest to those who may be facing adversity, to write their thoughts down. I am not certain what it is but, there is something magical about putting words on a page.
I feel it is important not to let a mental disorder define who you are and living each day as it comes is important. Remember that after a rain storm, a rainbow is soon to follow. Take pleasure in the small victories in life and never give up.
That is all for now. Happy Thursday!!! Living a perfectly imperfect life, Shawn.
The reason I am here today is because of the strong bonds I have maintained with friends and family. If I had not had those in my life, I am certain I would not be writing in this blog today. I started writing this blog in hopes that perhaps others struggling with mental illness may find hope in some of my stories. I also started writing this blog as a form of therapy. I strongly suggest to those who may be facing adversity, to write their thoughts down. I am not certain what it is but, there is something magical about putting words on a page.
I feel it is important not to let a mental disorder define who you are and living each day as it comes is important. Remember that after a rain storm, a rainbow is soon to follow. Take pleasure in the small victories in life and never give up.
That is all for now. Happy Thursday!!! Living a perfectly imperfect life, Shawn.
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