I took Ollie for a walk tonight and cried again. I spent much of the afternoon today worrying about tomorrow when I should have nothing to worry about. We had a great week last week and my boss was able to enjoy the three days he spent a way with some friends. I really need to find somehow to correct this trend as I spend way too much time worrying about what the new week may or may not look like. I make some mistakes along the way but, more times than not, I do a good job. I have overcome many obstacles and have done an effective job in a leadership role and need to remind myself of that more often.
I really should be seeing a therapist on a regular basis to process my thoughts but, there is not really the time during the season. It is not fair to put all my mental strains on Jodi and I need to talk to a professional to help alleviate some of my struggles. I really hope the next two months fly by so I can start back with my counselor from last winter.
I am proud of myself for pushing through this year. It would have been easy to give up and let situations affect my success. I have been drained physically and mentally but, pushed through. I have been near my breaking point but, somehow found a way to fight my way to this point. I sprained my ankle but, only missed one day. I did not take a mental health day again this year although I am sure there were times when I needed one. There are so many positives to hold on to and I need to mindful of those and deter negative thought processes.
I love being happy. I love to smile. I love to laugh. I love to share joy with others. I have been missing those the last few weekends and need to find them again. Jodi needs me to be strong and enjoy the down time we have together. Ollie needs me to be a good companion to him and reciprocate the love that he shows me every day.
I hope you have a good week. Take care, Shawn.
Hope is not lost if we can hold on to the small triumphs in life.
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