I'm Not Crazy - Just Bipolar

I just finished reading I'm Not Crazy Just Biplar by Wendy Williamson. It is a memoir of her life and her journey with bipolar disorder.  It was a wonderful read and I loved the way in which she wrote the book.  She held nothing back and I was captivated by her story.  I highly recommend reading this book.  It will inspire those who may struggle with mental health and give some insight to those who do not.

I helped my boss last Thursday with some tree work.  There is so much damage to clean up still from the ice storm in December.  The amount of work to still do is daunting.  I had a really good day helping him out.  It was stress free which is a good thing for me.  I do not handle stress too well at times.  I am in good shape but, not work shape.  I was pretty sore the next day.  My boss is pretty damn good with a chain saw and I learn a lot just watching him at work.  I enjoy working with a saw and the smell of freshly cut wood.  I have contemplated being an arborist and have inquired with a few companies.  Tree work often is year round which is something I am looking for to help us financially.

We went out for dinner on Thursday night with Dave and Megs as they were passing through.  We had a wonderful time catching up and hearing about what was new in their lives.  I did enjoy it but, part of me was thrown off.  I did have a little bit of money and it felt good to be able to pay for our own bill.

I spiraled in to a deep depression on Friday.  I was really off and was zoned out for much of the day.  I had such a good day on Thursday but, it does not take much for my mood to flip drastically.  I believe spending what little money I had on dinner threw me for a loop.  Part of it was jealousy if I am being honest.  All my friends seem to have it all figured out.  Good paying jobs, good business interests, good investments and financial stability.  I know I should not think like that as I have certainly had some hindrances to my ability to maintain some form of financial stability.  I should be proud of where I am and what contributions I do make to our family.  Friday just happened to be an off day and all I could think about was being a failure in life and that things would never get better. 

As history has proven to me,  things are never as bad as I make them out in my head.  I woke up on Saturday feeling much better about life and made my way to the gym in the morning.  I was still pretty sore from the tree work but, manged to get in a descent work out.  I spent much of the afternoon reading the book and it helped pick me up.  You can always find inspiration in others when your own seems to be fleeting in the moment.

Heading to our friends Julie and Scott to watch the AFC championship game this afternoon.  It should be an awesome game.  Brady and Manning should put on quite a show.  I have followed their careers since they came in to the league and have a great amount of respect and admiration for the way in which they carry themselves on and off the field.  The game I am actually looking forward to the most is the Niners at the Seahawks.  Two of the best defenses face off in what should be a hard fought battle.  I have to lean towards the Niners even in Seattle.  They have just played so well the last two months and have had the play off experience from last year.  Should be a good day of football.

Hope this finds you in good spirits.  Have a great week. Take care,  Shawn.


“In the depth a light will grow,
A silver shine no shadows know,
Like wings unfolding in the sky,
That circle 'round a gleaming eye,
Turning darkness all away,
Even depths will know their day,
For every shadow has its end,
In light!
Life will return again!”
― Robert Fanney