New Day

Today I woke up feeling much better than yesterday.  My mind was clear and I had a fresh outlook on things.  It was unfortunate that I had the downzies in the morning of my birthday but, it comes with the territory.  There are going to be some shitty days but, I just have to remind myself how far I have come.  It is easy to get discouraged when my thoughts and moods affect my state of mind so frequently.  I have to continue to press on and hopefully each new year will get a little easier to manage challenges along the way.

It is a beautiful day here today.  It is actually fairly mild and is a great opportunity to take Ollie for a play at the arena.  It took me a long time to be able to let him off leash there.  I still remember it taking long periods of time to get him to come back to the car.  There was once a cold winters day where he did not come back for an hour.  Man was I pissed with him.  I started to realize that I needed to be patient and not chase after him.  Eventually he started to come to the car in a more timely manner.  He still is a bit of a monkey at times but, he has come a long way.

I am going to attempt to run a little bit longer at the gym today.  My legs are pretty sore from squats yesterday but, want to push myself a little longer every time out.  I always feel better after I am done a work out and am really looking forward to it today.

Bell Let's Talk day is coming up on January 28th.  It is an initiative that has been going on for the last few years.  It is a day to spread the word on mental health issues and break some of the stigmas attached to those who live with a variety of disorders.  It is one of my favourite days of the year and I enjoy hearing the stories of others.  It makes me feel connected to them and it feels comforting to know that there is someone else that understands some of what I have experienced.  If you are a bell customer, please text and call as much as you can on that day.  Bell donates 5 cents from every text and call on that day to mental health initiatives.  They have raised a lot of money so far and hopefully this year will be the best year yet.

Have a great day.  Take care, Shawn.


 “Soon madness has worn you down. It’s easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes over your mind. You no longer know where it ends and you begin. You believe anything it says. You do what it tells you, no matter how extreme or absurd. If it says you’re worthless, you agree. You plead for it to stop. You promise to behave. You are on your knees before it, and it laughs.”
― Marya Hornbacher, Madness: A Bipolar Life