2012 is coming to a close and we welcome in the new year tomorrow. It is hard to believe another year has come and gone. I am really looking forward to 2013 and moving in a new direction personally.
I turn 37 this month and want to start making some changes. I want to be a better husband and to put Jodi first more often. I want to start managing money more efficiently and saving for the future. I want to take more time before making decisions. I want to continue to grow mentally and strive to face challenges head on instead of hiding a way from them. I want to take some courses to allow me to pursue long term career objectives. I want to read more, learn more and listen more. I want to get back to the gym and start feeling more alive physically. Those are just some of the things I want to work on in the year to come. I would not call them resolutions but, rather attainable goals for myself.
I really hope the US congress gets their ass in gear tonight but, I have my doubts. I am not quite sure why they waited till the last minute to sort all of their shit out with such an important deadline. I guess its only the economic future of their country at stake. I wish the politicians actually did what they were paid to do, represent the people and not their personal agendas. I suppose they do not have to worry about their economy as long as they keep getting their personal six figure pay checks. I simply do not understand politics and what exactly the point of government is these days.
We are watching the Rockin Eve on ABC tonight for the countdown. It is not the same without Dick Clark but, Seacrest does a pretty good job. We will probably switch to the Niagra Falls broadcast at some point which starts at ten. Maybe we will actually head out next year and go to Toronto. There is something comforting about being at home though and I would not trade it for anything. Ollie is having a relaxing night on the couch. Jodi is throwing some snacks in the oven and seems like she will make it till midnight this year.
I want to wish everyone an amazing 2013. The new year offers a chance to start fresh and look at the positive side of life. 2013 will have challenges like any year but, I have a feeling it is going to be a good one.
Take care and all the best. Shawn
New Year, New Chapters
Monday, 31 December 2012
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Blizzard Time
Jodi and I arrived home last night at around 1:00 am from our trip to Moncton. We were delayed and missed our connecting flight in Montreal. Fortunately we were able to get on a later flight and made it to Pearson International safe and sound. Our bags however, did not make the trip with us. It was frustrating to say the least as we had some frozen food that Karen sent with us including some lobster. The Air Canada baggage claim attendant explained that our bags were in Montreal and would be on the first flight to Toronto in the morning. We contemplated staying over night but, I really wanted to see Ollie and decided to return in the morning to pick up the bags which ended up being quite the experience.
I was only able to get a few hours of sleep before I had to get up and return to Pearson. The weather outside was not too appealing but, the fate of our frozen food lay in the balance so I started out on my trek. It was not white out conditions but, their was definitely a blizzard like atmosphere on the roads. I took the same route I take to work in the summer and the roads were pretty sketchy. I probably only averaged sixty kilometers an hour until I got in to Rockwood. I did not have a deadline to get there by so it was better to take my time. I got on to the 401 and the stretch of high way to the air port was a tricky endeavor as well. It makes it more dangerous when there are a lot of other vehicles driving in those conditions. I made sure to keep my distance from cars in front of me and slowly plodded along to the 427. I realized today that their will be an inherent danger when I do start plowing at the air port. I will not called in when the skies are blue and their is no snow on the ground. I will end up driving in conditions similar today and it worries me a little bit.
I got to the air port at eight o'clock and made my way to the baggage claim area. The baggage agent for Air Canada informed me that my bags were coming on flight 401 from Montreal and not the original slated flight 481. It would not have bothered me as much except that last night we were told specifically that it would be on the first flight out this morning. I was thus forced to wait until ten o'clock for the delayed flight 401 to pick up our bags. After retrieving our bags, I made my way back to the baggage claim. There was no way I was paying for parking after my ordeal and was quite pleased that the manager accommodated my request without hesitation. I then made my way to the car to get the hell out of there. In my haste to leave, I did not take my time and ended up falling down part of the escalator with the bags. I landed on my left hip and it is still quite sore at the moment. It was kind of funny at the time and could have been a lot worse. I was more embarrassed than anything and dusted myself quickly to avoid the eyes of onlookers.
The drive home was a little better but, was slow going. I was exhausted and made a Tim's stop in Milton to help me finish the last 45 minutes of the drive. I was so relieved to make it home, have a shower and go back to bed. I am also happy to report that the frozen meats we were sent home with made it through with flying colours.
I rested for a few hours and then took Ollie for a good play at the arena. He must have been dying to run after we had been a way for five days. I picked up some groceries and am now catching up on some NCAA hoops.
So it has been quite an eventful twenty four hours. I am really looking forward to a low key day tomorrow and watching the final week of the NFL regular season.
I have learned through my years of driving that you have to let the road and weather conditions dictate how you approach driving in the winter. There is no sense in rushing somewhere only to get in an accident and risk lives. Give a lot of space between those driving in front you as reaction time is severely reduced in bad conditions. Do not let someone riding your tail push you to drive faster than you are comfortable with. Tail gating is my biggest pet peeve with other drivers and it puts people at unnecessary risk.
Dinner is almost ready so I will end for today. Hope all is well in your little corner of the world.
Take care, Shawn.
Unnecessary risk is foolish.
I was only able to get a few hours of sleep before I had to get up and return to Pearson. The weather outside was not too appealing but, the fate of our frozen food lay in the balance so I started out on my trek. It was not white out conditions but, their was definitely a blizzard like atmosphere on the roads. I took the same route I take to work in the summer and the roads were pretty sketchy. I probably only averaged sixty kilometers an hour until I got in to Rockwood. I did not have a deadline to get there by so it was better to take my time. I got on to the 401 and the stretch of high way to the air port was a tricky endeavor as well. It makes it more dangerous when there are a lot of other vehicles driving in those conditions. I made sure to keep my distance from cars in front of me and slowly plodded along to the 427. I realized today that their will be an inherent danger when I do start plowing at the air port. I will not called in when the skies are blue and their is no snow on the ground. I will end up driving in conditions similar today and it worries me a little bit.
I got to the air port at eight o'clock and made my way to the baggage claim area. The baggage agent for Air Canada informed me that my bags were coming on flight 401 from Montreal and not the original slated flight 481. It would not have bothered me as much except that last night we were told specifically that it would be on the first flight out this morning. I was thus forced to wait until ten o'clock for the delayed flight 401 to pick up our bags. After retrieving our bags, I made my way back to the baggage claim. There was no way I was paying for parking after my ordeal and was quite pleased that the manager accommodated my request without hesitation. I then made my way to the car to get the hell out of there. In my haste to leave, I did not take my time and ended up falling down part of the escalator with the bags. I landed on my left hip and it is still quite sore at the moment. It was kind of funny at the time and could have been a lot worse. I was more embarrassed than anything and dusted myself quickly to avoid the eyes of onlookers.
The drive home was a little better but, was slow going. I was exhausted and made a Tim's stop in Milton to help me finish the last 45 minutes of the drive. I was so relieved to make it home, have a shower and go back to bed. I am also happy to report that the frozen meats we were sent home with made it through with flying colours.
I rested for a few hours and then took Ollie for a good play at the arena. He must have been dying to run after we had been a way for five days. I picked up some groceries and am now catching up on some NCAA hoops.
So it has been quite an eventful twenty four hours. I am really looking forward to a low key day tomorrow and watching the final week of the NFL regular season.
I have learned through my years of driving that you have to let the road and weather conditions dictate how you approach driving in the winter. There is no sense in rushing somewhere only to get in an accident and risk lives. Give a lot of space between those driving in front you as reaction time is severely reduced in bad conditions. Do not let someone riding your tail push you to drive faster than you are comfortable with. Tail gating is my biggest pet peeve with other drivers and it puts people at unnecessary risk.
Dinner is almost ready so I will end for today. Hope all is well in your little corner of the world.
Take care, Shawn.
Unnecessary risk is foolish.
Friday, 28 December 2012
Happy Holidays
I want to wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas. Hope the day was filled with joy and holiday cheer.
I have not written in my blog for over a week. Honestly, I have not felt like writing as I was having a case of the holiday blues. I was having a hard time focusing mentally on the positive and relegating my mood to negative thought processes. It would have helped me to write but, I got caught up in a cycle of the "downzies".
I am in Moncton now visiting the Praught clan for the holidays. I think it was just what the doctor ordered and I have really enjoyed my time here. It was hard leaving Ollie behind but, this trip has been helpful in regaining a sense of hopefulness moving in to 2013. Bernie and Karen are wonderful people and have made every effort to make us feel at home here. It was great to catch up with Duane and Erin as well and hear about all their exciting plans for the year ahead. Little Kaye was full of the Christmas spirit and brought her exuberant energy to the festivities.
I got a call from the air port on Wednesday night to plow on Thursday. Obviously I had to say no as I was here but, it was a good sign that they were thinking of me to come in. There was an abundant snow fall here last night and the plows were out in full force. I was not sure about working at the air port with the distance from home but, watching them last night made me eager to get things going. Now I just have to hope Toronto starts getting a steady dose of winter.
We fly home tonight and should be back by eleven at night. I am excited to see Ollie and watch his tail wag profusely as we walk in the door. Might be hard to understand how hard it is leave a dog behind but, he is part of our family. My brother Matt was able to hang out with him for a bit which was quite helpful to us. My parents were a big help in taking care of him and I am grateful for that.
I am not sure that we have any major plans for the weekend but, I am sure I will be watching the final day of the regular season in the NFL. The AFC is all wrapped up but, the NFC wild cards are still up in the air. Should be interesting to see how it unfolds. I am pulling for the Redskins in the Sunday night game. I have nothing against the Cowboys but, love what RG3 and the Skins have done over the last half of the season.
Think it is coffee time so I will end here. Happy Friday. Take care, Shawn.
Hold on to your dreams, you never know how life will unfold.
I have not written in my blog for over a week. Honestly, I have not felt like writing as I was having a case of the holiday blues. I was having a hard time focusing mentally on the positive and relegating my mood to negative thought processes. It would have helped me to write but, I got caught up in a cycle of the "downzies".
I am in Moncton now visiting the Praught clan for the holidays. I think it was just what the doctor ordered and I have really enjoyed my time here. It was hard leaving Ollie behind but, this trip has been helpful in regaining a sense of hopefulness moving in to 2013. Bernie and Karen are wonderful people and have made every effort to make us feel at home here. It was great to catch up with Duane and Erin as well and hear about all their exciting plans for the year ahead. Little Kaye was full of the Christmas spirit and brought her exuberant energy to the festivities.
I got a call from the air port on Wednesday night to plow on Thursday. Obviously I had to say no as I was here but, it was a good sign that they were thinking of me to come in. There was an abundant snow fall here last night and the plows were out in full force. I was not sure about working at the air port with the distance from home but, watching them last night made me eager to get things going. Now I just have to hope Toronto starts getting a steady dose of winter.
We fly home tonight and should be back by eleven at night. I am excited to see Ollie and watch his tail wag profusely as we walk in the door. Might be hard to understand how hard it is leave a dog behind but, he is part of our family. My brother Matt was able to hang out with him for a bit which was quite helpful to us. My parents were a big help in taking care of him and I am grateful for that.
I am not sure that we have any major plans for the weekend but, I am sure I will be watching the final day of the regular season in the NFL. The AFC is all wrapped up but, the NFC wild cards are still up in the air. Should be interesting to see how it unfolds. I am pulling for the Redskins in the Sunday night game. I have nothing against the Cowboys but, love what RG3 and the Skins have done over the last half of the season.
Think it is coffee time so I will end here. Happy Friday. Take care, Shawn.
Hold on to your dreams, you never know how life will unfold.
Sunday, 16 December 2012
Sunday Night Football
Alas, it is a Sunday night and I am watching some football again. It is 31-10 half way through the third quarter for the Niners over the Pats. Normally I would make my way up to bed but, this game is far from over. With Brady and company, no lead is safe. I have been quite impressed with the way San Fran has controlled the pace of the game. Turnovers have killed New England so far and the Niners have made them pay. I love this time of year in the NFL as play off races really heat up. Should be interesting to see how everything unfolds in the last two weeks.
The thing I enjoy about watching sports is that it provides a break from reality. For a few hours, you can forget about the world around you and just enjoy two teams competing fiercely against one another. Sport has always been a big part of my life growing up. They helped me transition in to high school when I knew no one at the school. If I did not have a gift for athletics, establishing new relationships would have been far more difficult. Some of the friendships I made in the first year of high school have stood the test of time and I still maintain some to this day.
I am not sure what my plans are for the week but, I am looking forward to the holidays. Our trip to Moncton should be a lot of fun although I will miss Ollie quite a bit. I really need to get back to the gym soon. It is important for me to stay active and maintain a certain level of fitness. I make a living with my body and I really benefit mentally from working out on a daily basis.
That's it for tonight. Nothing too thought provoking for today.
Have a great week. Take care, Shawn.
Each new day presents an opportunity to grow as an individual.
The thing I enjoy about watching sports is that it provides a break from reality. For a few hours, you can forget about the world around you and just enjoy two teams competing fiercely against one another. Sport has always been a big part of my life growing up. They helped me transition in to high school when I knew no one at the school. If I did not have a gift for athletics, establishing new relationships would have been far more difficult. Some of the friendships I made in the first year of high school have stood the test of time and I still maintain some to this day.
I am not sure what my plans are for the week but, I am looking forward to the holidays. Our trip to Moncton should be a lot of fun although I will miss Ollie quite a bit. I really need to get back to the gym soon. It is important for me to stay active and maintain a certain level of fitness. I make a living with my body and I really benefit mentally from working out on a daily basis.
That's it for tonight. Nothing too thought provoking for today.
Have a great week. Take care, Shawn.
Each new day presents an opportunity to grow as an individual.
Saturday, 15 December 2012
Coffee Time
Jodi and I had my boss and his wife over for coffee this morning. It was the first time they have had a chance to come up here to see our place. It was nice to catch up and visit before the holidays. They have been so good to me over the years and I really appreciate them giving me a second chance to work for them the last few years. I got a pair of binoculars from them which I am going to put to good use. I will probably see them again early in the new year for a coffee. I am going to the Landscaping Convention in January as my boss got us all tickets. I am hoping to look in to a few pieces of equipment for next year. I am not sure if I will have a chance to start my own business in the near future but, I would like to start accumulating some of my own tools. I will search out some customers for some summer pruning next year on the weekends. I am quite accomplished at pruning and know I could get some business if I put some effort in to it.
Jodi was picketing on Friday morning for one of the planned walk outs scheduled by ETFO. I walked down with Ollie to support them for a while. I truly hope the two sides can get together and come to a compromise. The general public may think it is about money but, that really has nothing to do with it. I believe the teachers union already agreed to a pay freeze last year. The issue has more to do with the lack of negotiation from the governments side. Bill 115 that was passed by the Ontario Legislature gives the Education Minister an absorbent amount of power and essentially gives the union no power to negotiate a fair contract for all involved. The Charter of Rights it seems has been thrown out the window and I am proud that ETFO has taken a stand. People may or may not understand the position of the teachers but, I believe they are fighting for their democratic rights. It would be easy for them to give in and let the government have their way but, what would that teach the students they so proudly educate on a daily basis. It would teach them that when confronting a challenging situation, it is fine to just give up without standing up for yourself and what you believe in. I know unions are often a touchy subject but, I am proud of ETFO for what they are trying to accomplish.
I was horrified to hear about the tragic news in New Town, Connecticut. Such a senseless act of violence that will have an ever lasting impact on those families and community. My thoughts and prayers go out to them in this difficult time. I simply do not understand why there has always been such a fight in America to have the right to bear arms. The amount of people that have died from a bullet from a hand gun is mind boggling. I just do not get it but, I fear nothing will ever change.
My mind has been fairly relaxed of late. I have been taking my increased dose of medications and making a conscience effort to slow my thoughts down. I am really looking forward to the holiday season and visiting Jodi's family out east. I am quite fortunate to have such wonderful in-laws. Karen and Bernie have always made feel like one of the family and have been very good to me. I will also get a chance to catch up with her brother Duane and his girlfriend Erin. We should have some spirited games of Wizard which is one of the best games ever.
I think we might watch ELF tonight. A classic Christmas movie and I am a huge fan of Will Ferrell.
I hope you have a great end to your weekend. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
Change is only possible if we push for it.
Jodi was picketing on Friday morning for one of the planned walk outs scheduled by ETFO. I walked down with Ollie to support them for a while. I truly hope the two sides can get together and come to a compromise. The general public may think it is about money but, that really has nothing to do with it. I believe the teachers union already agreed to a pay freeze last year. The issue has more to do with the lack of negotiation from the governments side. Bill 115 that was passed by the Ontario Legislature gives the Education Minister an absorbent amount of power and essentially gives the union no power to negotiate a fair contract for all involved. The Charter of Rights it seems has been thrown out the window and I am proud that ETFO has taken a stand. People may or may not understand the position of the teachers but, I believe they are fighting for their democratic rights. It would be easy for them to give in and let the government have their way but, what would that teach the students they so proudly educate on a daily basis. It would teach them that when confronting a challenging situation, it is fine to just give up without standing up for yourself and what you believe in. I know unions are often a touchy subject but, I am proud of ETFO for what they are trying to accomplish.
I was horrified to hear about the tragic news in New Town, Connecticut. Such a senseless act of violence that will have an ever lasting impact on those families and community. My thoughts and prayers go out to them in this difficult time. I simply do not understand why there has always been such a fight in America to have the right to bear arms. The amount of people that have died from a bullet from a hand gun is mind boggling. I just do not get it but, I fear nothing will ever change.
My mind has been fairly relaxed of late. I have been taking my increased dose of medications and making a conscience effort to slow my thoughts down. I am really looking forward to the holiday season and visiting Jodi's family out east. I am quite fortunate to have such wonderful in-laws. Karen and Bernie have always made feel like one of the family and have been very good to me. I will also get a chance to catch up with her brother Duane and his girlfriend Erin. We should have some spirited games of Wizard which is one of the best games ever.
I think we might watch ELF tonight. A classic Christmas movie and I am a huge fan of Will Ferrell.
I hope you have a great end to your weekend. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
Change is only possible if we push for it.
Monday, 10 December 2012
What's up Doc?
I am up watching the Texans/Patriots game so I thought I may has well write a bit during commercial breaks. I really should head to bed as I am helping Sheldon again tomorrow but, have been looking forward to this game all day. Has been a bit of a let down thus far from the Texans stand point. I would hate to run in to New England in the play offs as they seem to be running on all cylinders at this point of the season.
I went to see my family doctor today to talk about my meds and check in. I am quite fortunate to have such an amazing physician looking out for my well being. He has been an instrumental part of getting me through some pretty shitty times and I am thankful for the caring and compassionate way in which he has dealt with my journey. I had my two meds increased by half a pill to help me stabilize for the next few months. I take one medication at night to help slow my mind down to enable me to sleep properly. The other one is a mood stabilizer which I take in the morning. Do I still have bad days on medication? Hell yes. Do I think they help me function better as a person? Absolutely.
Taking medication for mental illness is only part of the ultimate goal of maintaining some sort of balance in my life. I try to live simple now, taking one step at a time. I get myself in to trouble when I do not take time to process my thoughts and slow things down in my mind. That is often easier said than done but, I am getting better at handling situations life puts before me.
I look back twenty years a go when I started exhibiting some signs of bi-polar 2 disorder. I never really understood back then what I was going through and mental health was not really discussed too much back then. I strongly support programs that reach out to youth with regards to mental health and addiction. I believe that the sooner someone can be reached, the better chance they will have at success moving forward.
The Pats seem to be running a way with this game so I think I will head to bed. I am looking forward to working with Sheldon and Marcel tomorrow and to make some good progress on the project we are working on.
Asking for help is not a weakness.
Happy Monday, enjoy your week. Take care, Shawn.
I went to see my family doctor today to talk about my meds and check in. I am quite fortunate to have such an amazing physician looking out for my well being. He has been an instrumental part of getting me through some pretty shitty times and I am thankful for the caring and compassionate way in which he has dealt with my journey. I had my two meds increased by half a pill to help me stabilize for the next few months. I take one medication at night to help slow my mind down to enable me to sleep properly. The other one is a mood stabilizer which I take in the morning. Do I still have bad days on medication? Hell yes. Do I think they help me function better as a person? Absolutely.
Taking medication for mental illness is only part of the ultimate goal of maintaining some sort of balance in my life. I try to live simple now, taking one step at a time. I get myself in to trouble when I do not take time to process my thoughts and slow things down in my mind. That is often easier said than done but, I am getting better at handling situations life puts before me.
I look back twenty years a go when I started exhibiting some signs of bi-polar 2 disorder. I never really understood back then what I was going through and mental health was not really discussed too much back then. I strongly support programs that reach out to youth with regards to mental health and addiction. I believe that the sooner someone can be reached, the better chance they will have at success moving forward.
The Pats seem to be running a way with this game so I think I will head to bed. I am looking forward to working with Sheldon and Marcel tomorrow and to make some good progress on the project we are working on.
Asking for help is not a weakness.
Happy Monday, enjoy your week. Take care, Shawn.
Saturday, 8 December 2012
Happy Saturday
My mind had been racing quite a bit at the beginning of the week and was struggling to find a balance mentally. I was being more pessimistic rather than the optimal optimistic. Then on Wednesday night I got a text from Marcel whom I worked with in the summer. He asked if I was available to work on Thursday helping out Sheldon with a construction project. I was able to work the last two days which enabled me to distract my mind and feel positive about the weeks to come prior to Christmas.
Sheldon is an awesome guy and I am thankful he thought of me to help him out. We spent the last few days back filling the foundation of the structure he had put up. I spent a lot of time tamping down the fill and even got some time on the John Deere which was an awesome machine to run. The aspect I enjoyed most was having a stress free environment. Sheldon expects a certain level of work from us but, he is pretty laid back and that made working with him that much better. It is certainly a lot easier on me mentally when there is no stress involved and enable me to have fun working outside in sub par conditions.
We are going down to visit the Chapman's today and might take Elias skating. Will be great to spend some time with them and see how they are recovering from the events earlier in the week. I love getting a chance to visit with them and see my awesome nephew, Elias. Then Jodi and I are spending the night in Toronto which will be a nice reprieve from our normal weekend routine. I am particularly excited to got to Lulu Lemon to pick of some items for Jodi's friend. There was a bit of sarcasm in that statement but, Jodi loves browsing in that store so I will tag along without objection.
I think we are going out for a Thai dinner somewhere in the downtown core. We have not been a way together for a night in probably eight months. The last time was at Nationals in Kingston to watch Trinity Western and visit with Ryan. I hate leaving Ollie alone but, we need this time a way together and I am really looking forward to it.
As I sit here writing, I feel quite content today and am confident my mind will be at peace for the next few days. I have nothing else pressing to write about this morning so I will end here for now.
Have a Happy Saturday. Take care, Shawn.
Live, Laugh, Love.
Sheldon is an awesome guy and I am thankful he thought of me to help him out. We spent the last few days back filling the foundation of the structure he had put up. I spent a lot of time tamping down the fill and even got some time on the John Deere which was an awesome machine to run. The aspect I enjoyed most was having a stress free environment. Sheldon expects a certain level of work from us but, he is pretty laid back and that made working with him that much better. It is certainly a lot easier on me mentally when there is no stress involved and enable me to have fun working outside in sub par conditions.
We are going down to visit the Chapman's today and might take Elias skating. Will be great to spend some time with them and see how they are recovering from the events earlier in the week. I love getting a chance to visit with them and see my awesome nephew, Elias. Then Jodi and I are spending the night in Toronto which will be a nice reprieve from our normal weekend routine. I am particularly excited to got to Lulu Lemon to pick of some items for Jodi's friend. There was a bit of sarcasm in that statement but, Jodi loves browsing in that store so I will tag along without objection.
I think we are going out for a Thai dinner somewhere in the downtown core. We have not been a way together for a night in probably eight months. The last time was at Nationals in Kingston to watch Trinity Western and visit with Ryan. I hate leaving Ollie alone but, we need this time a way together and I am really looking forward to it.
As I sit here writing, I feel quite content today and am confident my mind will be at peace for the next few days. I have nothing else pressing to write about this morning so I will end here for now.
Have a Happy Saturday. Take care, Shawn.
Live, Laugh, Love.
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Rage
My brother in law Bart was admitted to hospital yesterday as he collapsed at home. His heart stopped beating a few times at the hospital and they had to do compression's to get it going again. He was in the intensive care unit over night and a pacemaker was successfully put in yesterday. He is stable now and is resting at home which I am extremely grateful for. Bart is a huge part of my life and has become one of my best friends so I am glad he pulled through.
On the way down to see him yesterday, I was listening to a Toronto radio station. I am not going to mention which one as it serves no purpose at this point. The host of the show was attacking teachers in a very negative and hurtful way. Much of what he was saying was not even accurate and it made me incensed to hear those comments. Jodi is a teacher and many of my friends are teachers so I took it very personally. I responded in a rage with an ill advised e-mail to the host which was in turn read on the air. As it was a reactionary e-mail written in anger, rather than with concise thought, the spelling and sentence structures were not exactly literary works of art. I also dropped an F bomb at the end of it. Needless to say, it backfired on me. It was read on air and was mocked profusely for its grammatical imperfections and the point I was trying to make was lost in the rage induced rant.
Although my intentions were only to defend my wife and good friends, I did not approach it in a sensible way. I reacted immediately and did not take the time to think about what I was saying. By responding to his comments in anger, I gave him the upper hand as it proved that he was able to affect my deepest emotions. The lesson I learned is that I need to take time to pause, think things through and then proceed with any actions or words that I deem fit. I will not make that mistake again and need to pay heed to that statement for all aspects of my life.
I have been having a hard time of late. The "downzies" have been slowly creeping back in to my life. I have started to only see the negative aspects of my situation and have taken great comfort in feeling sorry for myself. I only have myself to blame as saving money for times like this has not always been my strong suit. I seem to kick myself after the fact and need to make better provisions for this time of year the next time around. I have applied for some jobs and am anxiously awaiting some snow. I have enjoyed spending more time with Ollie and taking him off leash at the arena. I have started reading Donald Miller again and love the way he writes about faith.
I am thankful for what I do have. I need to stop living in the past and thinking about all the things I should have done differently. I cannot change that so I better start finding ways to change the course of my future.
That is is for me today. Looking forward to seeing Bart, Les and Elias soon. A special birthday shout out to my little brother Matt, Happy 31rst bro. You are an amazing guy and a good friend, all the best in the upcoming year.
Take care, Shawn.
Laugh for no reason at all, it will pick you up.
On the way down to see him yesterday, I was listening to a Toronto radio station. I am not going to mention which one as it serves no purpose at this point. The host of the show was attacking teachers in a very negative and hurtful way. Much of what he was saying was not even accurate and it made me incensed to hear those comments. Jodi is a teacher and many of my friends are teachers so I took it very personally. I responded in a rage with an ill advised e-mail to the host which was in turn read on the air. As it was a reactionary e-mail written in anger, rather than with concise thought, the spelling and sentence structures were not exactly literary works of art. I also dropped an F bomb at the end of it. Needless to say, it backfired on me. It was read on air and was mocked profusely for its grammatical imperfections and the point I was trying to make was lost in the rage induced rant.
Although my intentions were only to defend my wife and good friends, I did not approach it in a sensible way. I reacted immediately and did not take the time to think about what I was saying. By responding to his comments in anger, I gave him the upper hand as it proved that he was able to affect my deepest emotions. The lesson I learned is that I need to take time to pause, think things through and then proceed with any actions or words that I deem fit. I will not make that mistake again and need to pay heed to that statement for all aspects of my life.
I have been having a hard time of late. The "downzies" have been slowly creeping back in to my life. I have started to only see the negative aspects of my situation and have taken great comfort in feeling sorry for myself. I only have myself to blame as saving money for times like this has not always been my strong suit. I seem to kick myself after the fact and need to make better provisions for this time of year the next time around. I have applied for some jobs and am anxiously awaiting some snow. I have enjoyed spending more time with Ollie and taking him off leash at the arena. I have started reading Donald Miller again and love the way he writes about faith.
I am thankful for what I do have. I need to stop living in the past and thinking about all the things I should have done differently. I cannot change that so I better start finding ways to change the course of my future.
That is is for me today. Looking forward to seeing Bart, Les and Elias soon. A special birthday shout out to my little brother Matt, Happy 31rst bro. You are an amazing guy and a good friend, all the best in the upcoming year.
Take care, Shawn.
Laugh for no reason at all, it will pick you up.
Wednesday, 28 November 2012
Let it Snow, Let it Snow
I have been done work for a week now and am enjoying some relaxing time with Ollie. I have been disappointed in myself for some of my decision making processes over the last week but, I refuse to stop pressing forward. I have come too far to let a bad week derail my ultimate aspirations in life.
I am eagerly awaiting some big snow falls so I can start plowing. I applied for EI yesterday but, that will not kick in for 3-4 weeks depending on their back log of applications. I have been thinking recently of starting my own snow business here in Fergus. I have shovels and a great work ethic so there is no reason I could not succeed in that endeavor. I just have to be willing to take a chance and put in the effort to make it happen. There is so much opportunity right at my fingertips and it would certainly save me the long drive to the air port.
I have always wanted to start my own business but, lacked the ambition to actually follow through on it. At some point in my life, I have to take a leap of faith and just go for it. My ultimate goal would be to write for a living but, perhaps that will happen down the road. There is a job center here in Town that could help me with connecting with the right people to start my own business. I know there are grants out there to help start up companies. I have to come up with a solid business plan and figure out the costs of getting things rolling. I have a pretty good idea of who my initial client base would be. I would start with cutting small lawns that I would simply need a push mow and a trimmer. I would also offer summer pruning as that is something I really excel at. I have enough contacts around town and now have the landscaping knowledge to feel comfortable offering a professional service. It is good to start thinking about it, now I just have to make it happen.
I wanted to take this time to thank all of the people in my life who have supported me. I am not going to mention everyone but, they know who they are. I just realized today that although I may have struggles mentally, I am pretty fortunate to be where I am today. Special thank you to my wife Jodi and my dog Ollie who have been instrumental in my successes in the last few years.
There is so much doom and gloom in the world today. Just watch the news and you will see what I mean. There is war, political unrest, crime, injustices, greed and corruption. And then families have to deal with debt, working two jobs, putting food on the table and making sure their loved ones are provided for. It is easy to get down and lose hope of any positive outcome for the future. I get caught up in that way of thinking sometimes. You stop caring as their seems like their is no end to the constant struggles of our society, so why bother trying. When I start thinking like that, I just have to stop and think about the small wonders of life. There is certainly problems on a larger scale in our world but, I cannot control much of that. There is so much around me that I fail to take in on a daily basis. The rising sun, the sun set, the squirrels that run amok in our backyard, the ever changing clouds on the horizon and the wonderful white stuff that we have been fortunate to have a little bit of thus far. Amidst the chaos, there is so many beautiful aspects of life that we fail to see. I need to do a mind check to remind myself of the joys in my life and be thankful for them.
Felt really good to write in my blog again today, I feel a sense of joy when I write as I am able to unload some of the thoughts drifting around in my mind. You will be happy to know that I have had over a thousand page views so my writing cannot be too bad.
Enjoy the rest of your week. Take care, Shawn.
Open your heart to the joys of life.
I am eagerly awaiting some big snow falls so I can start plowing. I applied for EI yesterday but, that will not kick in for 3-4 weeks depending on their back log of applications. I have been thinking recently of starting my own snow business here in Fergus. I have shovels and a great work ethic so there is no reason I could not succeed in that endeavor. I just have to be willing to take a chance and put in the effort to make it happen. There is so much opportunity right at my fingertips and it would certainly save me the long drive to the air port.
I have always wanted to start my own business but, lacked the ambition to actually follow through on it. At some point in my life, I have to take a leap of faith and just go for it. My ultimate goal would be to write for a living but, perhaps that will happen down the road. There is a job center here in Town that could help me with connecting with the right people to start my own business. I know there are grants out there to help start up companies. I have to come up with a solid business plan and figure out the costs of getting things rolling. I have a pretty good idea of who my initial client base would be. I would start with cutting small lawns that I would simply need a push mow and a trimmer. I would also offer summer pruning as that is something I really excel at. I have enough contacts around town and now have the landscaping knowledge to feel comfortable offering a professional service. It is good to start thinking about it, now I just have to make it happen.
I wanted to take this time to thank all of the people in my life who have supported me. I am not going to mention everyone but, they know who they are. I just realized today that although I may have struggles mentally, I am pretty fortunate to be where I am today. Special thank you to my wife Jodi and my dog Ollie who have been instrumental in my successes in the last few years.
There is so much doom and gloom in the world today. Just watch the news and you will see what I mean. There is war, political unrest, crime, injustices, greed and corruption. And then families have to deal with debt, working two jobs, putting food on the table and making sure their loved ones are provided for. It is easy to get down and lose hope of any positive outcome for the future. I get caught up in that way of thinking sometimes. You stop caring as their seems like their is no end to the constant struggles of our society, so why bother trying. When I start thinking like that, I just have to stop and think about the small wonders of life. There is certainly problems on a larger scale in our world but, I cannot control much of that. There is so much around me that I fail to take in on a daily basis. The rising sun, the sun set, the squirrels that run amok in our backyard, the ever changing clouds on the horizon and the wonderful white stuff that we have been fortunate to have a little bit of thus far. Amidst the chaos, there is so many beautiful aspects of life that we fail to see. I need to do a mind check to remind myself of the joys in my life and be thankful for them.
Felt really good to write in my blog again today, I feel a sense of joy when I write as I am able to unload some of the thoughts drifting around in my mind. You will be happy to know that I have had over a thousand page views so my writing cannot be too bad.
Enjoy the rest of your week. Take care, Shawn.
Open your heart to the joys of life.
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Pride
Well, I have finished the long grind of the landscaping season. Yesterday was my last day and I am extremely proud of myself for pushing through till the end. I am so excited to be done and give my body, mind and soul some time to recoup a bit. I am hoping for some snow soon for plowing but, I will definitely take some well deserved time to relax.
This was the longest I have worked consecutively without an extended period of time off in my life. It may not seem like much but, it is an amazing accomplishment on a personal level. As I have mentioned in an earlier blog, I have always struggled in work environments and therefore have not had much stability in that regard. This job had its challenges at times but, it was something that I felt comfortable in and that I had a lot of success with. I take a lot of pride in my work ethic and quality of work in landscaping and it showed this year. When I look back at the scope of work we accomplished this year, it inspires me. You would be hard pressed to find a better landscaping crew than Smitty and I am glad I got another chance to work with him again this year.
You may find it curious that I would be so excited to be out of work for the time being. There is the money factor and not having a steady pay check for a while but, I do not concern myself with that at this point. If you had access to a reel of my thoughts piercing through my mind at times over the last eight months, you would understand my jubilation. I would say this year was much better as I was able to channel my thoughts a little easier and that helped me when I simply wanted to give up.
Amaya was a big part of my success as well. Losing her was extremely difficult to comprehend and I still miss her every day. I often looked up in to the sky and talked to her. Some nights it would be a star, another it may be a well lit moon but, I knew she was up there looking out for me. I will continue to look to her as a constant reminder of what is really important in my daily life.
Hope all is well with you wherever you may be.
Take care, Shawn.
The climb to the top of the mountain may be treacherous but, the view from the top will always make the journey worthwhile.
This was the longest I have worked consecutively without an extended period of time off in my life. It may not seem like much but, it is an amazing accomplishment on a personal level. As I have mentioned in an earlier blog, I have always struggled in work environments and therefore have not had much stability in that regard. This job had its challenges at times but, it was something that I felt comfortable in and that I had a lot of success with. I take a lot of pride in my work ethic and quality of work in landscaping and it showed this year. When I look back at the scope of work we accomplished this year, it inspires me. You would be hard pressed to find a better landscaping crew than Smitty and I am glad I got another chance to work with him again this year.
You may find it curious that I would be so excited to be out of work for the time being. There is the money factor and not having a steady pay check for a while but, I do not concern myself with that at this point. If you had access to a reel of my thoughts piercing through my mind at times over the last eight months, you would understand my jubilation. I would say this year was much better as I was able to channel my thoughts a little easier and that helped me when I simply wanted to give up.
Amaya was a big part of my success as well. Losing her was extremely difficult to comprehend and I still miss her every day. I often looked up in to the sky and talked to her. Some nights it would be a star, another it may be a well lit moon but, I knew she was up there looking out for me. I will continue to look to her as a constant reminder of what is really important in my daily life.
Hope all is well with you wherever you may be.
Take care, Shawn.
The climb to the top of the mountain may be treacherous but, the view from the top will always make the journey worthwhile.
Monday, 12 November 2012
The Final Push
I only have about 2-3 weeks left of the landscaping season. The end of March seems like yesterday and I find it hard to believe I am almost done. I am really proud of myself this year for sticking it out and putting my heart and soul in to my work. This is the longest I have worked at one job without an extended period of time off and is a big accomplishment.
I am eagerly anticipating the end though. I am mentally and physically drained and am looking forward to some down time at home with Jodi and Ollie. I am planning on plowing at the air port this year but, the pace of life will definitely slow down. Getting up at 5:30 or 6:00 and getting home at 6:30 or 7:00 wears on you after a while so winter will be a welcome addition to my life.
I have missed reading the last eight months. That is one thing I am most certain to catch up on in December. I hope to have a lot more entries in my blog too. Not certain what I will write about at this point but, I simply enjoy writing thoughts down. If someone happens to come across this and enjoys my entries, then all the better.
Mentally I have been doing fairly well. I have made a conscience effort not to worry so much about shit that really does not matter. There was a period in the last few months where I spent the whole weekend worrying about Monday. It was really affecting the enjoyment of spending time with Jodi. She was getting frustrated with me as I was a bit of a downer. Then one weekend, I just stopped worrying. Monday was not here yet and there was no need to fret over what may or may not happen on that day. There was no sense in my logic so I made some adjustments. The last month I have really enjoyed my two days off and haven't gave too much thought to the upcoming work week. I have even done better not spending too much time thinking about the next day. Tomorrow is not even here yet so why waste my time thinking about it.
All in all, I do not have too many reasons to be down right now. I still get frustrated with my thoughts at times but, I am better suited to cope mentally and find success in daily life.
Hope all is well in your life.
Take care, Shawn.
Happy Happy Happy, Happy Happy Happy, Happy Happy Happy, Happy Happy Happy, toot, for Elias!!
I am eagerly anticipating the end though. I am mentally and physically drained and am looking forward to some down time at home with Jodi and Ollie. I am planning on plowing at the air port this year but, the pace of life will definitely slow down. Getting up at 5:30 or 6:00 and getting home at 6:30 or 7:00 wears on you after a while so winter will be a welcome addition to my life.
I have missed reading the last eight months. That is one thing I am most certain to catch up on in December. I hope to have a lot more entries in my blog too. Not certain what I will write about at this point but, I simply enjoy writing thoughts down. If someone happens to come across this and enjoys my entries, then all the better.
Mentally I have been doing fairly well. I have made a conscience effort not to worry so much about shit that really does not matter. There was a period in the last few months where I spent the whole weekend worrying about Monday. It was really affecting the enjoyment of spending time with Jodi. She was getting frustrated with me as I was a bit of a downer. Then one weekend, I just stopped worrying. Monday was not here yet and there was no need to fret over what may or may not happen on that day. There was no sense in my logic so I made some adjustments. The last month I have really enjoyed my two days off and haven't gave too much thought to the upcoming work week. I have even done better not spending too much time thinking about the next day. Tomorrow is not even here yet so why waste my time thinking about it.
All in all, I do not have too many reasons to be down right now. I still get frustrated with my thoughts at times but, I am better suited to cope mentally and find success in daily life.
Hope all is well in your life.
Take care, Shawn.
Happy Happy Happy, Happy Happy Happy, Happy Happy Happy, Happy Happy Happy, toot, for Elias!!
Sunday, 11 November 2012
Remembering the Brave
Today we remember the brave soldiers that gave their lives to solidify the freedom that we are fortunate to have today. Our world was shaped by men who were willing to fight tyranny and the evils of the past. I salute them and am forever grateful for their contribution to our nation.
I think of my grandparents today as they lived through the struggles of World War One and Two. My grandad was in the service as well as my grandma and grandpa. I loved looking at their medals growing up as child and reflecting on what it may have been like during that time in our history. I am proud of their contribution and will never forget.
So at 11:11 this morning, take the time to pause and remember those who sacrificed their lives for the freedom we so often take fore-granted.
I think of my grandparents today as they lived through the struggles of World War One and Two. My grandad was in the service as well as my grandma and grandpa. I loved looking at their medals growing up as child and reflecting on what it may have been like during that time in our history. I am proud of their contribution and will never forget.
So at 11:11 this morning, take the time to pause and remember those who sacrificed their lives for the freedom we so often take fore-granted.
In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae
Saturday, 3 November 2012
Three Years Baby!!!!!
I am happy and proud to report that I officially reached three years sober as of yesterday. I have not had a drink since November 2nd, 2009 which is a great accomplishment on a personal level. There is no doubt in my mind that I would not be where I am today if I had not made the decision to abstain from alcohol. Jodi whom I love very much, would probably not be in my life. I would have lost the connections I have maintained with family and friends. I would not have found the motivation to get myself back in shape and have dropped sixty pounds. There is a whole realm of positive outcomes from my decision and it has helped me immensely in regards to my mental health.
The thing about giving up an addiction, bad habit or lifestyle is that it has to come from within. I was surrounded by people in my life that knew I had an issue with alcohol but, I was stubborn in believing it was something I could control. It was not until I woke up one morning in a foggy hungover state and realized there was something I had to change in my life. I tested the waters for a few years to try and drink "socially" but, it was a losing battle. I made some poor choices and hurt people around me. I also drank to cover up the pain inside me. Alcohol will never hide pain. It may numb it for a while but, nothing will have changed when you wake up the next day. The pain still exists and often ends up being more intense. The ultimate decision on November 2nd, 2009 was mine alone. I would not be three years sober if I had not made a personal commitment to give up drinking. There is something to be said for reaching out to people if it is obvious they are struggling with an addiction but, success will find them more often than not if they can come to an epiphany on their own.
I have to thank all those who have supported me and believe in my ability to make changes in my life. Although I had to make the choice, it certainly has made a world of difference being surrounded by good people. I still strive to continue building a positive mind set and challenging myself on a daily basis to stay thankful for where I am today.
Have an amazing weekend. Happy Saturday.
Take care, Shawn.
Change is a pillar of personal development.
The thing about giving up an addiction, bad habit or lifestyle is that it has to come from within. I was surrounded by people in my life that knew I had an issue with alcohol but, I was stubborn in believing it was something I could control. It was not until I woke up one morning in a foggy hungover state and realized there was something I had to change in my life. I tested the waters for a few years to try and drink "socially" but, it was a losing battle. I made some poor choices and hurt people around me. I also drank to cover up the pain inside me. Alcohol will never hide pain. It may numb it for a while but, nothing will have changed when you wake up the next day. The pain still exists and often ends up being more intense. The ultimate decision on November 2nd, 2009 was mine alone. I would not be three years sober if I had not made a personal commitment to give up drinking. There is something to be said for reaching out to people if it is obvious they are struggling with an addiction but, success will find them more often than not if they can come to an epiphany on their own.
I have to thank all those who have supported me and believe in my ability to make changes in my life. Although I had to make the choice, it certainly has made a world of difference being surrounded by good people. I still strive to continue building a positive mind set and challenging myself on a daily basis to stay thankful for where I am today.
Have an amazing weekend. Happy Saturday.
Take care, Shawn.
Change is a pillar of personal development.
Monday, 29 October 2012
Thoughts and Prayers
Just wanted to send out my thoughts and prayers to those who will be affected by Hurricane Sandy tonight. This is probably the most intense storm I can remember in my life time. The impact that it has had and will have on millions of people is alarming. My thoughts also go out to the Bahamas and other island nations that have already been affected by Sandy's intense power.
I feel helpless. I wish there was something I could do to change the course of this storm. I will be asking the big guy to help keep people safe and that the strength of Sandy will diminish sooner than later.
Stay safe and find comfort in those close to you.
Take care, Shawn
I feel helpless. I wish there was something I could do to change the course of this storm. I will be asking the big guy to help keep people safe and that the strength of Sandy will diminish sooner than later.
Stay safe and find comfort in those close to you.
Take care, Shawn
Saturday, 20 October 2012
Early to Rise
I normally stay up a bit later on the weekend but, Jodi and I were exhausted after a draining week. We were in bed at 9:30 which may seem lame for a Friday night but, I have no shame in getting the rest I need. I awoke at 5:00 this morning which is not that abnormal for me. I was having the most bizarre dream but, I could not tell you what it was about. I rarely have dreams anymore so it was an interesting experience last night.
I worried too much this week about things that were out of my control. It really serves no purpose and I need to stop doing it to myself on a regular basis. My friend seems to be in a better frame of mind but, I have not heard from him so it is hard to say. Work ended up going really well at the end of the week. We were grass cutting machines and were able to finish our route on a shortened week. I love cutting with Smitty. We have such a good routine down and know exactly what the other guy is going to do next. It makes life a lot easier for me and I will certainly miss him next year.
Some sad news from Jodi's side of the family. Her second cousin passed a way. He was killed in a work accident. He worked for an oil company and a piece of machinery fell on him and unfortunately he did not survive. He had just turned nineteen years old. The last few months has proven to me that sometimes, life does not make sense. My condolences to his family and friends.
I was on our front porch this morning and looked out in to the night sky. There was one star shining brighter than the rest and I knew that Amaya was watching over us. I think about her every day and wish I could hold her in my arms. I hope she knows that even though she may not be here on earth with us, she is still a huge part of our lives.
When the sun decides to make an appearance this morning, I am going to take Ollie for a good play at the arena. I think I will cut the grass and do some fall clean up at our house and my parents place. I may go to Acton to pick up some fall fertilizer from my boss. Our two lawns have really done well over the last few years and I want to continue that trend. I am not feeling well so will probably rest up this afternoon and watch some college football.
Have a great weekend. Happy Saturday. Take care, Shawn.
Expect the unexpected.
I worried too much this week about things that were out of my control. It really serves no purpose and I need to stop doing it to myself on a regular basis. My friend seems to be in a better frame of mind but, I have not heard from him so it is hard to say. Work ended up going really well at the end of the week. We were grass cutting machines and were able to finish our route on a shortened week. I love cutting with Smitty. We have such a good routine down and know exactly what the other guy is going to do next. It makes life a lot easier for me and I will certainly miss him next year.
Some sad news from Jodi's side of the family. Her second cousin passed a way. He was killed in a work accident. He worked for an oil company and a piece of machinery fell on him and unfortunately he did not survive. He had just turned nineteen years old. The last few months has proven to me that sometimes, life does not make sense. My condolences to his family and friends.
I was on our front porch this morning and looked out in to the night sky. There was one star shining brighter than the rest and I knew that Amaya was watching over us. I think about her every day and wish I could hold her in my arms. I hope she knows that even though she may not be here on earth with us, she is still a huge part of our lives.
When the sun decides to make an appearance this morning, I am going to take Ollie for a good play at the arena. I think I will cut the grass and do some fall clean up at our house and my parents place. I may go to Acton to pick up some fall fertilizer from my boss. Our two lawns have really done well over the last few years and I want to continue that trend. I am not feeling well so will probably rest up this afternoon and watch some college football.
Have a great weekend. Happy Saturday. Take care, Shawn.
Expect the unexpected.
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Happy Tuesday
I have had a great start to the week which is quite refreshing considering the lack of sleep on the weekend. I always find Mondays the most difficult as it is a transition day and it is challenging at times. I feel most people struggle with Mondays, reminiscing about the weekend that was and hoping the next one was much closer.
We have finished up most of the big jobs for work. There is one more stone job that we started today but, I will be grass cutting for the next three days which I am really looking forward to. I believe we have some top dressing on Friday to do after we finish our route but, that is pretty easy considering the size of the property. Then some odds and ends next week and then fall clean ups will start which means the end of the season is near.
I still cannot believe the beating the Broncos gave the Chargers last night in the second half. I went to bed thinking the game was over at the half. I am glad Manning stepped up as he helped me with my fantasy match up for the week. Their defense played a big part in the comeback and should help them find the win column on a more consistent basis.
I am looking forward to the Yanks and Tigers tonight. It seems like a foregone conclusion that the Tigers will take a 3-0 lead in the series with Verlander on the mound but, I am not so sure. Phelps has pitched well for the Bronx Bombers of late and their bats have to come alive at some point. Justin has also struggled against New York at times so it should be an interesting night of ball.
Ollie is being a monkey so I better take him for a stroll. It is getting dark too early for me to take him for a play during the week at the arena. I feel bad I do not get to take him out more often but, I do not get home till close to seven on some nights. I will make it up to him in the winter and my dad is a wonderful help with him during the week.
That is it for now. Think I may check out the debates later tonight. I hope Obama has a better showing this time around and there is no way I want to see Romney as the President of our closest neighbor.
Happy Tuesday and take care, Shawn.
In times of struggle, keep loved ones closer than ever.
We have finished up most of the big jobs for work. There is one more stone job that we started today but, I will be grass cutting for the next three days which I am really looking forward to. I believe we have some top dressing on Friday to do after we finish our route but, that is pretty easy considering the size of the property. Then some odds and ends next week and then fall clean ups will start which means the end of the season is near.
I still cannot believe the beating the Broncos gave the Chargers last night in the second half. I went to bed thinking the game was over at the half. I am glad Manning stepped up as he helped me with my fantasy match up for the week. Their defense played a big part in the comeback and should help them find the win column on a more consistent basis.
I am looking forward to the Yanks and Tigers tonight. It seems like a foregone conclusion that the Tigers will take a 3-0 lead in the series with Verlander on the mound but, I am not so sure. Phelps has pitched well for the Bronx Bombers of late and their bats have to come alive at some point. Justin has also struggled against New York at times so it should be an interesting night of ball.
Ollie is being a monkey so I better take him for a stroll. It is getting dark too early for me to take him for a play during the week at the arena. I feel bad I do not get to take him out more often but, I do not get home till close to seven on some nights. I will make it up to him in the winter and my dad is a wonderful help with him during the week.
That is it for now. Think I may check out the debates later tonight. I hope Obama has a better showing this time around and there is no way I want to see Romney as the President of our closest neighbor.
Happy Tuesday and take care, Shawn.
In times of struggle, keep loved ones closer than ever.
Sunday, 14 October 2012
A Dear Friend
I have a dear friend who is struggling immensely and I have been quite concerned for his well being. The stress of not knowing how things will unfold has affected me deeply and I have had some tough days on my end. I have to realize that as hard as it may be to accept, I have no control of what may transpire in the next few weeks. I can only be a support if called upon and pray for a positive outcome.
When I struggle mentally, it affects me at work as my emotions are right on the surface, ready to pour out. Tuesday and Wednesday were a challenge and I even broke down crying a few times. I was doing some work I had not done before and I get frustrated when I do not do the task right. Jodi reinforced to me that I had to look after myself and not let my own health slide. A sense of calm enveloped me on Thursday morning and I had two positive days on the job before the weekend.
I am really looking forward to the end of the season and an opportunity for some down time. This is probably the longest I have been at one job without having extended time off in the last seven years. I have not even taken a mental health day this year which is something I am proud of. I am looking forward to sleeping in, starting to read again and taking some long walks with Ollie.
Jodi and I had my dad over for dinner last night. Was nice to connect and have some delicious meat pie together. We even played some three handed euchre and my dad was the victor once again. I watched the movie Goon and actually enjoyed the story line and the various characters. I probably would not have gone to a theater to watch it but, it was a good movie to view at home.
I better end my blog for now, I may write some more later on today. I hope you have an amazing Sunday. Send some good vibes in to the universe for my friend if you don't mind.
Take care, Shawn.
Weather the storm and the sun will shine through in its brilliance.
When I struggle mentally, it affects me at work as my emotions are right on the surface, ready to pour out. Tuesday and Wednesday were a challenge and I even broke down crying a few times. I was doing some work I had not done before and I get frustrated when I do not do the task right. Jodi reinforced to me that I had to look after myself and not let my own health slide. A sense of calm enveloped me on Thursday morning and I had two positive days on the job before the weekend.
I am really looking forward to the end of the season and an opportunity for some down time. This is probably the longest I have been at one job without having extended time off in the last seven years. I have not even taken a mental health day this year which is something I am proud of. I am looking forward to sleeping in, starting to read again and taking some long walks with Ollie.
Jodi and I had my dad over for dinner last night. Was nice to connect and have some delicious meat pie together. We even played some three handed euchre and my dad was the victor once again. I watched the movie Goon and actually enjoyed the story line and the various characters. I probably would not have gone to a theater to watch it but, it was a good movie to view at home.
I better end my blog for now, I may write some more later on today. I hope you have an amazing Sunday. Send some good vibes in to the universe for my friend if you don't mind.
Take care, Shawn.
Weather the storm and the sun will shine through in its brilliance.
Monday, 1 October 2012
JOY
I am not quite sure why but, I was filled with a great sense of joy today. It was a beautiful fall day and the cool air invigorated my spirit. I did not worry about anything and just embraced the day that was. I truly enjoyed the work I did and was proud of how our jobs turned out. Just need some rain to help the top dressing and sod along in the next few weeks. We even got off early which was a perfect end to the day.
I used to struggle immensely to find any joy within my life. My mind was sick and it did not allow me to appreciate any aspect of daily life. Now I have more instances of joy in my life and I am extremely thankful for that. They do not come every day but, I soak them in when they do happen as they make me feel alive.
I hope you find some joy in your life this week. Take care, Shawn.
Nature is part of healing the wounded soul.
I used to struggle immensely to find any joy within my life. My mind was sick and it did not allow me to appreciate any aspect of daily life. Now I have more instances of joy in my life and I am extremely thankful for that. They do not come every day but, I soak them in when they do happen as they make me feel alive.
I hope you find some joy in your life this week. Take care, Shawn.
Nature is part of healing the wounded soul.
Friday, 28 September 2012
Embrace the Pain
I had today off as I have developed a growth on the bottom of my foot. I looks similar to a callous but, will not know for sure until I see the chiropodist in two weeks. The problem lies in the fact that it is painful to walk on. Just so happens that my profession requires me to be on my feet for the majority of the week. So for the next few weeks, I have to learn how to embrace the pain. I cannot take the time off work to rest it so I will just have to convince my mind to push through for two weeks until I can see the foot doctor. The nurse practitioner mentioned that it may be something called Mortons Neuroma but, we will have to see.
I mentioned in an earlier blog about embracing the shit. I just have to apply the same philosophy to a physical ailment. It may not be easy at times but, I can look at as an opportunity to challenge myself. There are thousands of people across Canada that deal with physical pain on a daily basis. There is no reason I cannot do the same until I can get it treated properly.
Jodi and I were supposed to have date night but, think we might postpone it until tomorrow. Jodi is pretty wiped at the end of the week and I need to soak my foot. I took Ollie for an off leash adventure this morning and he did remarkably well. He came to the car when it was time to go and chose not to make me chase after him for an hour. Perhaps he is getting wiser with age.
I have some good news to pass along. I got on to the on call list for the airport this winter to plow snow. It pays really well and if we get a lot of snow, it could help us immensely with saving for Dave's wedding and our hopes of purchasing this home. The issue that we have to sort out soon is finding a second car. I am hoping we can find a good used vehicle that won't break the bank. I need reliable wheels as I could be called in to plow at anytime of day or night. Thank you to Sheldon for giving me a shot, won't let you down.
I am glad the NFL finally came to their senses and gave the officials what they deserved in the first place. It boggles my mind how a billion dollar industry would have such hesitation in paying a crucial part of the game what they are worth. As the first three weeks have shown, it is not an easy job and not just anyone one can step in and do it successfully.
We are anxiously awaiting the season premier of Dexter on Sunday. I know the show is kind of dark in nature but, I love the writing and the psychology behind Dexter is interesting.
I truly hope you have an amazing weekend. Take care, Shawn. Happy Friday!!!!
Pause before you make a decision.
I mentioned in an earlier blog about embracing the shit. I just have to apply the same philosophy to a physical ailment. It may not be easy at times but, I can look at as an opportunity to challenge myself. There are thousands of people across Canada that deal with physical pain on a daily basis. There is no reason I cannot do the same until I can get it treated properly.
Jodi and I were supposed to have date night but, think we might postpone it until tomorrow. Jodi is pretty wiped at the end of the week and I need to soak my foot. I took Ollie for an off leash adventure this morning and he did remarkably well. He came to the car when it was time to go and chose not to make me chase after him for an hour. Perhaps he is getting wiser with age.
I have some good news to pass along. I got on to the on call list for the airport this winter to plow snow. It pays really well and if we get a lot of snow, it could help us immensely with saving for Dave's wedding and our hopes of purchasing this home. The issue that we have to sort out soon is finding a second car. I am hoping we can find a good used vehicle that won't break the bank. I need reliable wheels as I could be called in to plow at anytime of day or night. Thank you to Sheldon for giving me a shot, won't let you down.
I am glad the NFL finally came to their senses and gave the officials what they deserved in the first place. It boggles my mind how a billion dollar industry would have such hesitation in paying a crucial part of the game what they are worth. As the first three weeks have shown, it is not an easy job and not just anyone one can step in and do it successfully.
We are anxiously awaiting the season premier of Dexter on Sunday. I know the show is kind of dark in nature but, I love the writing and the psychology behind Dexter is interesting.
I truly hope you have an amazing weekend. Take care, Shawn. Happy Friday!!!!
Pause before you make a decision.
Sunday, 23 September 2012
Presidential Election
I was watching the Presidential candidates being interviewed on 60 minutes tonight. I thought the interviewers did a remarkable job at getting at the tough, direct questions. They certainly did not take it easy on the two men trying to earn the votes of the American public.
Romney did not impress me at all. He talked in circles and never seemed to have a concise response to the questions. I do not particularly like Romney. There is just something about him that I do not trust.
Obama did impress me with ability to answer some difficult questions. I realize he has not been able to accomplish some of the objectives he set out to in his term but, I would rather have him guiding the our neighbours to the south as opposed to Romney. Obama has a way with speaking. If he can start to use his remarkable skills as an orator to aide him in passing some bills, he will go a long way to make Americans proud.
I believe part of the problem comes back to George W Bush. I still do not understand how he was voted in for one term, let alone two. Guess he has his brother and the state of Florida for getting that first term. I still think Al Gore would have done wonders the American public. Obama inherited the largest federal deficit in US history from the Bush administration. Bush was primarily responsible for bailing out the banks to the tune of 700 billion dollars which to me, is absolutely insane. When individuals mismanage their money, the government is not there to bail them out. I think the fact that the Banks took that money borders on being criminal. I was livid when I heard they passed that in congress. I guess fat cats do look out for one an other.
The problems appears to be the great divide between the Republicans and the Democrats. We see the same issues here in Canada, limiting the amount of production in politics. The Republicans and Democrats seem hell bent on disagreeing with each other on every significant policy reform. That is why their is a sluggish amount of progress in terms of getting meaningful bills passed. I do not have the answers but, they need to start working together for the people, not their own interests.
I could go on all night about American politics but, the Sunday night game is turning out to be a great battle so I think I will shut it down for the night.
Great leaders look out for the common man. It is sad to see that it does not seem to be the norm these days.
Take care, Shawn.
Romney did not impress me at all. He talked in circles and never seemed to have a concise response to the questions. I do not particularly like Romney. There is just something about him that I do not trust.
Obama did impress me with ability to answer some difficult questions. I realize he has not been able to accomplish some of the objectives he set out to in his term but, I would rather have him guiding the our neighbours to the south as opposed to Romney. Obama has a way with speaking. If he can start to use his remarkable skills as an orator to aide him in passing some bills, he will go a long way to make Americans proud.
I believe part of the problem comes back to George W Bush. I still do not understand how he was voted in for one term, let alone two. Guess he has his brother and the state of Florida for getting that first term. I still think Al Gore would have done wonders the American public. Obama inherited the largest federal deficit in US history from the Bush administration. Bush was primarily responsible for bailing out the banks to the tune of 700 billion dollars which to me, is absolutely insane. When individuals mismanage their money, the government is not there to bail them out. I think the fact that the Banks took that money borders on being criminal. I was livid when I heard they passed that in congress. I guess fat cats do look out for one an other.
The problems appears to be the great divide between the Republicans and the Democrats. We see the same issues here in Canada, limiting the amount of production in politics. The Republicans and Democrats seem hell bent on disagreeing with each other on every significant policy reform. That is why their is a sluggish amount of progress in terms of getting meaningful bills passed. I do not have the answers but, they need to start working together for the people, not their own interests.
I could go on all night about American politics but, the Sunday night game is turning out to be a great battle so I think I will shut it down for the night.
Great leaders look out for the common man. It is sad to see that it does not seem to be the norm these days.
Take care, Shawn.
Happy Sunday
I was up at 6:00 this morning. I have a hard time sleeping in on the weekend as my biological clock is set to get up for work. I also seem to have tossed my pillow on the floor last night so I was not exactly having a comfortable sleep. I really do not mind being up this early. I find it peaceful. There are not too many folks out and about at this time on the weekend. I like taking Ollie for a walk this early and just embracing the silence.
I am having a pretty good weekend so far. We had a relaxing day yesterday. We caught up on some cleaning and some laundry. I am good at tidying but, am learning to be a better cleaner as well. It was nice to have our laundry machine up and running as we have been without it for the last month. The guys finished the laundry room and it looks amazing with its new amenities. I cannot wait to try out the new shower.
We took Ollie off leash yesterday for the first time in months. He seems to have a mind of his own when it is time to get in the car and go home. He is a free spirit and likes to go on his little adventures. It went well though and we did not have too many issues getting him to hop in the car. I may try again today although I hope I am not pushing our luck.
It is hard to believe that October is right around the corner. Work is winding down and I am looking forward to resting my body and mind in a couple months. My body has been feeling the last six months over the last few weeks. I have been having some issues with the bottom of my right foot and think I may have to get another pair of work boots to see if that helps. I cannot get in to the chiropodist for a month which does not really help me at present time. My mind is looking forward to the break as well. I have noticed that it has been racing a fair amount over the last week. I need to really watch this and take some time to slow things down.
I do not have too many pressing issues to write about today. I am feeling much better than last Sunday and look to have a positive day today. The sun is out now and the cool fall air is calling my name. Time to take my boy for a nice walk.
Happy Sunday. Take care, Shawn.
When you here some funky music during the day, take some time to bust a little move. Guaranteed to make you smile.
I am having a pretty good weekend so far. We had a relaxing day yesterday. We caught up on some cleaning and some laundry. I am good at tidying but, am learning to be a better cleaner as well. It was nice to have our laundry machine up and running as we have been without it for the last month. The guys finished the laundry room and it looks amazing with its new amenities. I cannot wait to try out the new shower.
We took Ollie off leash yesterday for the first time in months. He seems to have a mind of his own when it is time to get in the car and go home. He is a free spirit and likes to go on his little adventures. It went well though and we did not have too many issues getting him to hop in the car. I may try again today although I hope I am not pushing our luck.
It is hard to believe that October is right around the corner. Work is winding down and I am looking forward to resting my body and mind in a couple months. My body has been feeling the last six months over the last few weeks. I have been having some issues with the bottom of my right foot and think I may have to get another pair of work boots to see if that helps. I cannot get in to the chiropodist for a month which does not really help me at present time. My mind is looking forward to the break as well. I have noticed that it has been racing a fair amount over the last week. I need to really watch this and take some time to slow things down.
I do not have too many pressing issues to write about today. I am feeling much better than last Sunday and look to have a positive day today. The sun is out now and the cool fall air is calling my name. Time to take my boy for a nice walk.
Happy Sunday. Take care, Shawn.
When you here some funky music during the day, take some time to bust a little move. Guaranteed to make you smile.
Thursday, 20 September 2012
Hallelujah
I was just watching the X Factor and probably heard the most distinctive rendition of Leonard Cohen's song, Hallelujah. It was a beautiful vocal and I had tingles running through my body. The man who sang it was a single father and is the same age as me. His son had never heard him sing before and he came running on to the stage after. It was quite a touching moment.
I realize that reality shows have taken over the television landscape over the last ten years. I have mixed feelings about how much they are intertwined in to our pop culture. There is a lot of crap spanning the scope of our viewing experience and I choose to pass on the Jersey Shores of the world. The wonderful thing about shows such as X Factor, The Voice and American Idol is that it gives ordinary people the opportunity to do extraordinary things. Sometimes in life, all someone needs is the opportunity to shine through and persevere through whatever struggles they may have endured. As Eminem says in the song Lose Yourself,
" Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment,
Would you capture it or just let it slip?" Some of these contestants do seize their moment and fills me with joy when I see them fulfill their dreams.
I used to believe that I have let my "one moment" pass me by. I certainly squandered many opportunities to achieve some of the aspirations I used to have growing up. Alcohol definitely played a big role in that, it affected my innate ability to succeed in varying aspects of my life. Well, if tonight proved anything to me, it is never too late to search for that "one moment" in life. If I ever get the opportunity to write for a living, I certainly will not let it go. Maybe just living day by day and trying to be the best person I can be is what I have I have been missing all these years.
I used to be scared of dying. In actuality, that fear probably saved my life. There were so many times when I simply wanted to give up on this world. Part of the reason I did not is that I was worried about my place in the great beyond. I was ashamed of the life I had led and felt their was no good place for me to spend eternity. Now I do not have that same fear as I have evolved as a person. I still aspire to make changes but, I am proud to be who I am now. I fight the good fight and that is all I can ask of myself. I cannot change the past but, I can shape the future in all of its hopes and dreams.
I realize the last paragraph was a bit of an odd one to throw in there but, I just felt the need to get it down.
Anyway, I will end on that note. One more day till the weekend and some relaxation time.
Hope this finds you well. Take care, Shawn.
Believe in your ability to rise above any situation.
I realize that reality shows have taken over the television landscape over the last ten years. I have mixed feelings about how much they are intertwined in to our pop culture. There is a lot of crap spanning the scope of our viewing experience and I choose to pass on the Jersey Shores of the world. The wonderful thing about shows such as X Factor, The Voice and American Idol is that it gives ordinary people the opportunity to do extraordinary things. Sometimes in life, all someone needs is the opportunity to shine through and persevere through whatever struggles they may have endured. As Eminem says in the song Lose Yourself,
" Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment,
Would you capture it or just let it slip?" Some of these contestants do seize their moment and fills me with joy when I see them fulfill their dreams.
I used to believe that I have let my "one moment" pass me by. I certainly squandered many opportunities to achieve some of the aspirations I used to have growing up. Alcohol definitely played a big role in that, it affected my innate ability to succeed in varying aspects of my life. Well, if tonight proved anything to me, it is never too late to search for that "one moment" in life. If I ever get the opportunity to write for a living, I certainly will not let it go. Maybe just living day by day and trying to be the best person I can be is what I have I have been missing all these years.
I used to be scared of dying. In actuality, that fear probably saved my life. There were so many times when I simply wanted to give up on this world. Part of the reason I did not is that I was worried about my place in the great beyond. I was ashamed of the life I had led and felt their was no good place for me to spend eternity. Now I do not have that same fear as I have evolved as a person. I still aspire to make changes but, I am proud to be who I am now. I fight the good fight and that is all I can ask of myself. I cannot change the past but, I can shape the future in all of its hopes and dreams.
I realize the last paragraph was a bit of an odd one to throw in there but, I just felt the need to get it down.
Anyway, I will end on that note. One more day till the weekend and some relaxation time.
Hope this finds you well. Take care, Shawn.
Believe in your ability to rise above any situation.
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
This too passed
Well, yesterday worked out much better than I expected. As the past has proven to me, it was never as bad as I imagined it to be. I was able to focus on small sections of the day and not think too much about what may or may not transpire. I worked like an animal on the aerator. I aerated five big properties, my right hand and wrist were feeling it at the end of the day. I could have switched with someone but, I really wanted just to be by myself and focus on the job at hand. There is something therapeutic about working by myself, I find it much easier to block out negative energy. Only two and half more months left and then some well deserved time off. Cannot wait to spend some quality time with Jodi and Ollie.
We had a interesting experience on Saturday at Tim Hortons in Milton. Jodi and I went down in the morning to watch Elias in the Tri Tri event at a local high school. It was amazing to see the depth of the participation and how smoothly everything ran. Elias did amazing and we had a blast cheering him on. We went to Tim's afterwards to have breakfast and coffee with the Chapman's. The store was crazy busy. The lady running our till was friendly enough but, that was the extent of the positive experience. Firstly, we had to wipe down our own tables as the store was filthy dirty. We had to wait twenty minutes for our food order. The bagel belt and breakfast sandwiches tasted horrible. The hash browns were ice cold. I took them back for new ones only to have them simply put them through the heaters. And to top it all off, Jodi found a hair in her cup. Good times for sure. I feel badly for the employees as the store itself is not big enough to handle the volume of patrons that walk through the doors. There is a systematic failure in the way it is run and we will not be going back there any time soon.
I have started to adjust my mind set in varying situations to help me succeed. Often times, I get frustrated when I have a distinct idea of how things should unfold and I get frustrated immensely when they do not unfold the way I imagined them. I am starting to project varying outcomes for different situations in my head so that I am not disappointed when things do not go according to the plan. I do get frustrated easily so this seems to be helping me a bit transition better through the course of the day. I also have started to embrace the shit which may sound funny. It relates to a constant issue I was having at work. I was always stepping in dog shit at some of the properties we work on. It really pissed me off and my mood would get affected. Then, I started embracing the fact that there was a good chance I may step in some during the week. Once I just accepted this fact, I have not worried about it as much. I am going to attempt to apply that notion to every day life, embrace the inevitable shit that happens. There is nothing I can do about it other than accept the fact that it happens and move forward with a better mind set.
I am looking forward to catching up on some baseball tonight. Their are a few play off races that have my eye on and am really looking forward to the A's and Tigers tonight. I have managed to catch up on some sleep today so I might even make the seventh inning.
Hope the rest of your week is filled with great promise. Take care, Shawn.
Positivity will take you further in life than negativity.
We had a interesting experience on Saturday at Tim Hortons in Milton. Jodi and I went down in the morning to watch Elias in the Tri Tri event at a local high school. It was amazing to see the depth of the participation and how smoothly everything ran. Elias did amazing and we had a blast cheering him on. We went to Tim's afterwards to have breakfast and coffee with the Chapman's. The store was crazy busy. The lady running our till was friendly enough but, that was the extent of the positive experience. Firstly, we had to wipe down our own tables as the store was filthy dirty. We had to wait twenty minutes for our food order. The bagel belt and breakfast sandwiches tasted horrible. The hash browns were ice cold. I took them back for new ones only to have them simply put them through the heaters. And to top it all off, Jodi found a hair in her cup. Good times for sure. I feel badly for the employees as the store itself is not big enough to handle the volume of patrons that walk through the doors. There is a systematic failure in the way it is run and we will not be going back there any time soon.
I have started to adjust my mind set in varying situations to help me succeed. Often times, I get frustrated when I have a distinct idea of how things should unfold and I get frustrated immensely when they do not unfold the way I imagined them. I am starting to project varying outcomes for different situations in my head so that I am not disappointed when things do not go according to the plan. I do get frustrated easily so this seems to be helping me a bit transition better through the course of the day. I also have started to embrace the shit which may sound funny. It relates to a constant issue I was having at work. I was always stepping in dog shit at some of the properties we work on. It really pissed me off and my mood would get affected. Then, I started embracing the fact that there was a good chance I may step in some during the week. Once I just accepted this fact, I have not worried about it as much. I am going to attempt to apply that notion to every day life, embrace the inevitable shit that happens. There is nothing I can do about it other than accept the fact that it happens and move forward with a better mind set.
I am looking forward to catching up on some baseball tonight. Their are a few play off races that have my eye on and am really looking forward to the A's and Tigers tonight. I have managed to catch up on some sleep today so I might even make the seventh inning.
Hope the rest of your week is filled with great promise. Take care, Shawn.
Positivity will take you further in life than negativity.
Sunday, 16 September 2012
Nervous Energy
I am up watching Sunday night football. It is a good game so far, the Niners look pretty solid moving forward this season.
I would normally be in bed at this point as I have to get up for work at 06:00 but, I just do not feel like it at this point. I am really nervous about work tomorrow and my mind is restless. Things did not go as smoothly as I would have liked on Friday so I am quite anxious about how tomorrow will unfold. I always plan for the worst case scenario in my head which is not an effective tool in planning for a positive day. As history has shown me, things never are as bad as I make them out to be. I realize that but, still have difficulty in processing that fact prior to facing the day ahead. I seem to make plans to have a really shitty day before it has even started. Hopefully I will be able to just focus on small aspects of the day. Getting up for work. Having a coffee. Making a lunch. Driving to work. Sitting down for morning meeting and so forth. If I can do this, maybe it will help me realize that there is really nothing to fret about.
That is all I really wanted to write about tonight. I already feel better and think I should make my way upstairs to get some sleep. I also wanted to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my blog, it means a lot to me. Hope it has shed some light on some of the struggles mental health can pose to individuals.
Have a great week. Take care, Shawn.
Keep pushing yourself on a daily basis.
shawnadams90@bell.net
I would normally be in bed at this point as I have to get up for work at 06:00 but, I just do not feel like it at this point. I am really nervous about work tomorrow and my mind is restless. Things did not go as smoothly as I would have liked on Friday so I am quite anxious about how tomorrow will unfold. I always plan for the worst case scenario in my head which is not an effective tool in planning for a positive day. As history has shown me, things never are as bad as I make them out to be. I realize that but, still have difficulty in processing that fact prior to facing the day ahead. I seem to make plans to have a really shitty day before it has even started. Hopefully I will be able to just focus on small aspects of the day. Getting up for work. Having a coffee. Making a lunch. Driving to work. Sitting down for morning meeting and so forth. If I can do this, maybe it will help me realize that there is really nothing to fret about.
That is all I really wanted to write about tonight. I already feel better and think I should make my way upstairs to get some sleep. I also wanted to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my blog, it means a lot to me. Hope it has shed some light on some of the struggles mental health can pose to individuals.
Have a great week. Take care, Shawn.
Keep pushing yourself on a daily basis.
shawnadams90@bell.net
Thursday, 13 September 2012
The Night Sky
Well, it is 5:00 am and I have been up since 3:30. I have had some issues with sleeping through the night the last few days which has been a bit challenging. I tried to got back to sleep but, then Ollie was barking because he had to go out for a pee.
When I walked outside to take Ollie for a walk, I witnessed the most amazing display of stars spanning the night sky. There was one particular star that was shining bright and I knew Amaya was there, watching over me. This gives me a great sense of comfort and I look for her every day in the sky above.
I figure that if Bart, Leslie and Elias can push through what they have experienced, I can certainly deal with a little sleep deprivation. Besides, if I am going to be a professional writer one day, I have to get used to erratic hours of work
My boss told me that it is good to hold on to your dreams to keep you going in life. My dream is to write for a living so hopefully writing this blog may help me to achieve that goal. I would love nothing more than to sit at this lap top and fill the pages with varying perspectives on the world around us.
I am happy to report that I started my fantasy football season with a victory. This week will be a little tougher but, was nice to get off to a good start. I really need to mix in some other activities on Sunday afternoons. I cannot sit like a lump watching football and miss out of this beautiful fall weather. Maybe I will finish the book by Donald Miller that my brother gave me this Sunday.
I have some news from our family to pass along. As it turns out, my father had a 99 per cent blockage of his main left artery. He was at a follow up appointment at St Mary's in Kitchener yesterday when they discovered the blockage. The doctor informed my parents that he was very lucky to be alive. He was on the verge of a major heart attack that he probably would not have survived. It frightens me to think that the walk I took with him on Monday may have been the last time I saw him. They were able to remove the blockage and he is in hospital recovering as I write this. I am looking forward to seeing him soon and giving him a big hug.
The settings of the page I am writing on have just changed so I can barely see what I am writing now so I will finish my blog for today.
I hope you are having a great week. Take care, Shawn.
Cherish the people around you as you never know how life will unfold.
When I walked outside to take Ollie for a walk, I witnessed the most amazing display of stars spanning the night sky. There was one particular star that was shining bright and I knew Amaya was there, watching over me. This gives me a great sense of comfort and I look for her every day in the sky above.
I figure that if Bart, Leslie and Elias can push through what they have experienced, I can certainly deal with a little sleep deprivation. Besides, if I am going to be a professional writer one day, I have to get used to erratic hours of work
My boss told me that it is good to hold on to your dreams to keep you going in life. My dream is to write for a living so hopefully writing this blog may help me to achieve that goal. I would love nothing more than to sit at this lap top and fill the pages with varying perspectives on the world around us.
I am happy to report that I started my fantasy football season with a victory. This week will be a little tougher but, was nice to get off to a good start. I really need to mix in some other activities on Sunday afternoons. I cannot sit like a lump watching football and miss out of this beautiful fall weather. Maybe I will finish the book by Donald Miller that my brother gave me this Sunday.
I have some news from our family to pass along. As it turns out, my father had a 99 per cent blockage of his main left artery. He was at a follow up appointment at St Mary's in Kitchener yesterday when they discovered the blockage. The doctor informed my parents that he was very lucky to be alive. He was on the verge of a major heart attack that he probably would not have survived. It frightens me to think that the walk I took with him on Monday may have been the last time I saw him. They were able to remove the blockage and he is in hospital recovering as I write this. I am looking forward to seeing him soon and giving him a big hug.
The settings of the page I am writing on have just changed so I can barely see what I am writing now so I will finish my blog for today.
I hope you are having a great week. Take care, Shawn.
Cherish the people around you as you never know how life will unfold.
Sunday, 9 September 2012
Golden Boy
I would like to congratulate Patrick Anderson and the Canadian Para Olympic Basketball team for capturing the gold medal yesterday in London. Jodi and I watched the game online and were treated to a hard fought battle with the Aussies. Anderson put the team on his back and played like a man possessed. He is the best wheelchair basketball player in the world and proved it beyond a doubt in this tournament.
My brother Ryan has been good friends with Pat since elementary school. Pat lost his legs when he was hit by a drunk driver at a young age. He has proven to be a great ambassador for the game of wheel chair basketball and the para Olympic movement in general. As long as I have know him, he has never once demonstrated any form of self pity. He has shown amazing courage, strength and determination. He has never let his disability define him as a person and I am proud to know him. I am also thankful that Ryan has such a dedicated friend in his life. They have remained close for the last twenty years and their friendship continues to grow as they transition in to new phases of their lives.
Today is filled with great anticipation for the start of a new NFL season. My fantasy football team is raring to go in the week one match up and beginning the year with a win. The first games of the season always provide some interesting drama and story lines. I do not not follow one particular team but, am partial to the Buffalo Bills. I still remember their four super bowl appearances and watched in agony as they found a way to lose each one. They were a fun team to watch though and I will be pulling for Ryan Fitzpatrick to put the Bills back on the map this season.
It is a beautiful autumn day here and I was grateful for the crisp air as I walked Ollie this morning. I know summer is not officially over but, it sure feels like fall. It is easy to take nature fore granted on days like this but, I try to take the time to soak it in.
Have a happy Sunday. Take care, Shawn.
Appreciate the small wonders in life.
My brother Ryan has been good friends with Pat since elementary school. Pat lost his legs when he was hit by a drunk driver at a young age. He has proven to be a great ambassador for the game of wheel chair basketball and the para Olympic movement in general. As long as I have know him, he has never once demonstrated any form of self pity. He has shown amazing courage, strength and determination. He has never let his disability define him as a person and I am proud to know him. I am also thankful that Ryan has such a dedicated friend in his life. They have remained close for the last twenty years and their friendship continues to grow as they transition in to new phases of their lives.
Today is filled with great anticipation for the start of a new NFL season. My fantasy football team is raring to go in the week one match up and beginning the year with a win. The first games of the season always provide some interesting drama and story lines. I do not not follow one particular team but, am partial to the Buffalo Bills. I still remember their four super bowl appearances and watched in agony as they found a way to lose each one. They were a fun team to watch though and I will be pulling for Ryan Fitzpatrick to put the Bills back on the map this season.
It is a beautiful autumn day here and I was grateful for the crisp air as I walked Ollie this morning. I know summer is not officially over but, it sure feels like fall. It is easy to take nature fore granted on days like this but, I try to take the time to soak it in.
Have a happy Sunday. Take care, Shawn.
Appreciate the small wonders in life.
Saturday, 8 September 2012
Relaxing in the Rain
It is a quiet morning at home today. The rain is coming down steadily and brings with it a sense of calm. When I lived on Vancouver Island, the rain often got me down. Now I have a great appreciation for the life it instills in the natural landscapes that surround us.
I was supposed to play in a beach volleyball tournament this afternoon but, that may be postponed to a later date. I was looking forward to playing some twos and seeing if Tom and I could take down the title. If it is cancelled, there is a full slate of NCAA football on and some CFL action. I wouldn't mind catching up on some pigskin action so it won't be a complete loss if we don't play. I am eagerly awaiting the start of the NFL season tomorrow. The first week always produces some surprises and intriguing story lines.
Jodi is heading to school to do some work on her class room. Anyone who thinks teachers just work from 8:30 to 3:30 is dead wrong. Jodi was up till midnight last night working on school stuff on the lap top. She also spent two weeks in August up at the school preparing for this year. She is always working on creative ideas for her lesson plans at various points of the week. The Liberals may have dictated the teachers contract but, that does not mean teachers will stop providing quality education for their students.
I believe McGuinty and his government may have paid the price for their hard line politics with the teachers as they lost the bi-election in Kitchener-Waterloo and will thankfully not have a majority government. I am not sure who I will vote for in the next election but, I am certain that it will not be for the Liberals. Their fiscal irresponsibility has put us in this deficit and we find ourselves looking for answers to our economic status. Perhaps the Liberals should not have put billions of dollars in to full day kindergarten to get votes when their has been no proven long term benefits of the program. Perhaps if they had not wasted millions of dollars on the e-health scandal, Ornge scandal, cancelling the Mississauga project and the OLG scandal, we would be in a better position as a province. My biggest problem with politics is that there is no accountability for poor decision making. Politicians never stand up and admit they made a mistake and take responsibility. It seems they are only interested in personal agendas and votes, not the well being of the constituents they represent. Now I know this is a general observation but, I would love for someone at Queens Park to prove me wrong. It is not fair that the onus always appears to be on the tax payers to bail the government out for its irrational decisions.
I only have three more months of work left till I get some time off. I am not sure what my plans are for the winter yet but, I am looking forward to spending some quality time with Ollie and catching up on some reading. Fall is right around the corner and it is my favorite time of year. I love the changing of the leaves, the brisk air and the season of Thanksgiving.
Have an amazing weekend. Take care, Shawn.
Feed your mind positive energy.
I was supposed to play in a beach volleyball tournament this afternoon but, that may be postponed to a later date. I was looking forward to playing some twos and seeing if Tom and I could take down the title. If it is cancelled, there is a full slate of NCAA football on and some CFL action. I wouldn't mind catching up on some pigskin action so it won't be a complete loss if we don't play. I am eagerly awaiting the start of the NFL season tomorrow. The first week always produces some surprises and intriguing story lines.
Jodi is heading to school to do some work on her class room. Anyone who thinks teachers just work from 8:30 to 3:30 is dead wrong. Jodi was up till midnight last night working on school stuff on the lap top. She also spent two weeks in August up at the school preparing for this year. She is always working on creative ideas for her lesson plans at various points of the week. The Liberals may have dictated the teachers contract but, that does not mean teachers will stop providing quality education for their students.
I believe McGuinty and his government may have paid the price for their hard line politics with the teachers as they lost the bi-election in Kitchener-Waterloo and will thankfully not have a majority government. I am not sure who I will vote for in the next election but, I am certain that it will not be for the Liberals. Their fiscal irresponsibility has put us in this deficit and we find ourselves looking for answers to our economic status. Perhaps the Liberals should not have put billions of dollars in to full day kindergarten to get votes when their has been no proven long term benefits of the program. Perhaps if they had not wasted millions of dollars on the e-health scandal, Ornge scandal, cancelling the Mississauga project and the OLG scandal, we would be in a better position as a province. My biggest problem with politics is that there is no accountability for poor decision making. Politicians never stand up and admit they made a mistake and take responsibility. It seems they are only interested in personal agendas and votes, not the well being of the constituents they represent. Now I know this is a general observation but, I would love for someone at Queens Park to prove me wrong. It is not fair that the onus always appears to be on the tax payers to bail the government out for its irrational decisions.
I only have three more months of work left till I get some time off. I am not sure what my plans are for the winter yet but, I am looking forward to spending some quality time with Ollie and catching up on some reading. Fall is right around the corner and it is my favorite time of year. I love the changing of the leaves, the brisk air and the season of Thanksgiving.
Have an amazing weekend. Take care, Shawn.
Feed your mind positive energy.
Sunday, 2 September 2012
The Downzies
Jodi and I have termed my mild bouts of depression as the downzies. It is just a simple term to express how I am feeling without saying too much. I had a bout of them last night. It was nothing in particular that had me down, just a combination of few things. I think part of it was that I was off work on Friday for my MRI and that messed up my routine a bit. As much as I enjoy having the occasional day off, work is part of a weekly structure that keeps me balanced. I had no choice though as I had no control of when my MRI was booked. I am also a little worried about what the results of the MRI might show. I am sure it will not turn up anything drastic but, it still weighs on my mind right now. I have a dear friend who is struggling immensely these days and am scared of where his mind may take him. Ultimately, I have no control over events that may or may not happen but, he means the world to me and just want his mind to be at peace.
So those are a few of the issues that may have contributed to my "downzies" last night. Jodi is a constant reminder to me that I have to push through them. She does not take it easy on me when I experience them but, usually gives me a good kick in the ass. Driving me to fight through them and do something proactive about my state of mind.
I want to explain a little bit about how the depression impacts me. It almost feels like crashing after too many coffees or a long day at work. I start believing the "loser" chants inside my mind. I cannot tell you how many times I have called myself a loser internally. Believing that I amount to nothing and will only fuck up the good things I have going on in my life. The self doubt creeps in, telling me that although I may be stable now, chances are I will just fall down the mountain again. I think about life as a long haul, instead of realizing that I only have to focus on small amounts of time. Telling myself that there is no way I can make it through another forty years of fighting for happiness on a daily basis. Then there is the immensely popular suicidal thoughts. My mind telling me that jumping off of a bridge or driving off the road is simply the best option. Basically pushing me to give up on life. I want to stress that these thoughts are never truly what I want to do, just explaining about the process of my depressive episodes. I do not ever want to give up on life but, those thoughts become very powerful at times. I do not have suicidal thoughts permeate my mind as often anymore but, they do come nonetheless. I have literally thought about ending my life thousands of times over my life. It used to be a daily struggle but, those idealizations come further a part now which I am thankful for. It is not too pleasant to think like that and it scares me to no end when they come. I do not want to be a statistic and have my friends and family to thank for getting me this far in my journey.
That was a little taste of where the depressive aspect of my bi-polar takes me. I also want to touch on the racing or cycling of thoughts in my mind. I have an easier time with it now but, it is a frustrating endeavor. I am not sure quite how to explain it really. If my mind starts to race, it is like watching a slide show at a mile a minute. Countless number of images/thoughts crossing my mind at lightning speed. And they are usually not images of the sun rising or a beautiful garden. They cycle through a lot of negative bull shit. Any mistakes I have made, any poor decisions from my past, any bad thoughts you could think of running through my head like a freight train. I take medication at night to slow my thoughts down so I can get a good sleep. The meds have been a god send as I used to have a hell of a time sleeping as my mind would simply not let me rest. The tricky part is when it happens during the day. I have a better time slowing my thought process down now but, it is still a struggle on a smaller scale. I find taking deep, long breaths to be therapeutic.
I know my blog was perhaps a bit heavy today but, it is important to express some of those struggles. There is no point of simply writing about daily life without letting people in to the complexity of my mind. It helps me to write about it and maybe it will aide people who may come across in understanding what someone close to them may be dealing with. I also want to stress that I am not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me or pity me for what I deal with. I have bi-polar but, have not regrets as it has helped shaped the person I have come to be. I have never once use it as an excuse for any past faults or decisions. It is part of who I am and I write this blog to shed some light on mental health and show that we can break down barriers and it is possible to heal over time.
There is still an unfortunate stigma regarding mental health in our society. This is because it is not visible to the casual observer. When a person is in a wheel chair, it is quite apparent that something is structurally not right in their body. When a person with a cane and a dog comes walking down the street, we can assume their vision is compromised. Mental health in all its variations is not always visible. Only those who are impacted by it directly have some insight in to its grip on an individuals life. Society has trouble accepting things they cannot see, no direct evidence of an ailment. Just know that mental illness is real and it does not mean someone is weak minded. The more discussions we start regarding mental health, the better chance we have of breaking the misconceptions out there.
I feel better already after writing this today. I trust you are having a good Sunday. Stay true to yourself and never stop fighting for your happiness.
Take care, Shawn.
Acceptance is understanding.
So those are a few of the issues that may have contributed to my "downzies" last night. Jodi is a constant reminder to me that I have to push through them. She does not take it easy on me when I experience them but, usually gives me a good kick in the ass. Driving me to fight through them and do something proactive about my state of mind.
I want to explain a little bit about how the depression impacts me. It almost feels like crashing after too many coffees or a long day at work. I start believing the "loser" chants inside my mind. I cannot tell you how many times I have called myself a loser internally. Believing that I amount to nothing and will only fuck up the good things I have going on in my life. The self doubt creeps in, telling me that although I may be stable now, chances are I will just fall down the mountain again. I think about life as a long haul, instead of realizing that I only have to focus on small amounts of time. Telling myself that there is no way I can make it through another forty years of fighting for happiness on a daily basis. Then there is the immensely popular suicidal thoughts. My mind telling me that jumping off of a bridge or driving off the road is simply the best option. Basically pushing me to give up on life. I want to stress that these thoughts are never truly what I want to do, just explaining about the process of my depressive episodes. I do not ever want to give up on life but, those thoughts become very powerful at times. I do not have suicidal thoughts permeate my mind as often anymore but, they do come nonetheless. I have literally thought about ending my life thousands of times over my life. It used to be a daily struggle but, those idealizations come further a part now which I am thankful for. It is not too pleasant to think like that and it scares me to no end when they come. I do not want to be a statistic and have my friends and family to thank for getting me this far in my journey.
That was a little taste of where the depressive aspect of my bi-polar takes me. I also want to touch on the racing or cycling of thoughts in my mind. I have an easier time with it now but, it is a frustrating endeavor. I am not sure quite how to explain it really. If my mind starts to race, it is like watching a slide show at a mile a minute. Countless number of images/thoughts crossing my mind at lightning speed. And they are usually not images of the sun rising or a beautiful garden. They cycle through a lot of negative bull shit. Any mistakes I have made, any poor decisions from my past, any bad thoughts you could think of running through my head like a freight train. I take medication at night to slow my thoughts down so I can get a good sleep. The meds have been a god send as I used to have a hell of a time sleeping as my mind would simply not let me rest. The tricky part is when it happens during the day. I have a better time slowing my thought process down now but, it is still a struggle on a smaller scale. I find taking deep, long breaths to be therapeutic.
I know my blog was perhaps a bit heavy today but, it is important to express some of those struggles. There is no point of simply writing about daily life without letting people in to the complexity of my mind. It helps me to write about it and maybe it will aide people who may come across in understanding what someone close to them may be dealing with. I also want to stress that I am not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me or pity me for what I deal with. I have bi-polar but, have not regrets as it has helped shaped the person I have come to be. I have never once use it as an excuse for any past faults or decisions. It is part of who I am and I write this blog to shed some light on mental health and show that we can break down barriers and it is possible to heal over time.
There is still an unfortunate stigma regarding mental health in our society. This is because it is not visible to the casual observer. When a person is in a wheel chair, it is quite apparent that something is structurally not right in their body. When a person with a cane and a dog comes walking down the street, we can assume their vision is compromised. Mental health in all its variations is not always visible. Only those who are impacted by it directly have some insight in to its grip on an individuals life. Society has trouble accepting things they cannot see, no direct evidence of an ailment. Just know that mental illness is real and it does not mean someone is weak minded. The more discussions we start regarding mental health, the better chance we have of breaking the misconceptions out there.
I feel better already after writing this today. I trust you are having a good Sunday. Stay true to yourself and never stop fighting for your happiness.
Take care, Shawn.
Acceptance is understanding.
Saturday, 1 September 2012
GREED
The unfortunate truth about our world is that it runs on the principles of greed. Greed for money. Greed for power. Greed for possessions. Greed for religion. It frustrates me to no end that this is the basis of our civilization. One may disagree with this statement but, to me, there is no question of its grip on humanity.
Jodi and I were watching a show on HGTV last night. It chronicled the story of how Spelling Manor was built and the lengths his wife (Candy Spelling) went to in order to make every detail perfect. Traveling the globe to find specific items to go with motif of the home. The show then moved on to her having to sell the Manor so she could move on with her life and start fresh in a penthouse suite. She got her asking price of $150 000 000. That is correct, a hundred and fifty million dollars for a house.
The only stipulation from the buyer was that Candy was completely moved out of the property in a month. The next twenty minutes of the show chronicled the itemizing, packaging and moving of all her belongings. Her doll collection was probably worth more than I will make in a life time. They almost attempted to make us feel sorry for her and all her efforts to move such a magnitude of lavish crap in a month. It kind of made me sick to my stomach. The fact that this journey was even a program on television, boggles my mind. What is worse is that, I sat there watching it like a dumb ass. All I could think of after is all the struggling people she could help with the proceeds of that sale. I have no way of knowing what Candy Spelling does in terms of giving to causes but, who needs a 150 million dollars. Her net worth is approximately 600 million dollars. Imagine the good that could be done with that type of wealth.
I want to clarify that I have nothing against Candy Spelling personally. How she came across her fortune and what she does with it is her business. I just used it as an example of what my blog is trying to assert in its essence as I just viewed the program last night.
It is said that 1% of the population controls the world wealth. That in itself scares me. How are we supposed to progress as a society with that economic structure? It will not change though. Individuals, Groups and Political Leaders are too damn greedy. Why do you think AIDS is still around? It has been showed in studies that we have the capability to abolish the disease worldwide. We have the technology and the medicine to take on such a huge endeavor. That would mean however, that the billion dollar profits of pharmaceutical companies would significantly diminish. How would they make money if a disease was cured? The greed factor again. Why fix a problem when you can prolong it and make a shit load of money from it?
I watched on the sports programs this morning that Floyd Mayweather (boxer) is wagering
$ 3 000 000 on the Michigan Wolverines to cover the 13.5 point spread tonight. It showed him on his plane, throwing down stacks of money on a table in preparation for his big bets. That kind of self indulgence is almost comical. How is someone in the southern states supposed to feel when they see that? They are without homes, cars, jobs, food and belongings and this guy is flaunting his wealth on national television. Just think how much supplies, shelter and comfort that 3 million could provide.
These are just a few examples of greed in our society. I would be writing all night if I mentioned all of them.
I am guilty of greed in my own life at times. Thinking of what I do not have and things that I want. There is nothing wrong with wanting to build a better life, I just have to remember the wonderful people that surround us and how fortunate we are. We struggle sometimes but, really have so much to be grateful for. Sometimes simple things are the ones that bring us the most joy. All I have to do is turn on the news and realize that there are so many people in our world that need help. I am just trying to say that if that 1% realizes just how much impact they could have on the 99%, we could start moving in a more positive direction. I want my nephews to grow up in a world where we can slowly start putting others first and realize that giving of ourselves is the greatest gift of all.
Hope your having a great Labour Day weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
Get up to watch the sunrise, its brilliance will amaze you.
Jodi and I were watching a show on HGTV last night. It chronicled the story of how Spelling Manor was built and the lengths his wife (Candy Spelling) went to in order to make every detail perfect. Traveling the globe to find specific items to go with motif of the home. The show then moved on to her having to sell the Manor so she could move on with her life and start fresh in a penthouse suite. She got her asking price of $150 000 000. That is correct, a hundred and fifty million dollars for a house.
The only stipulation from the buyer was that Candy was completely moved out of the property in a month. The next twenty minutes of the show chronicled the itemizing, packaging and moving of all her belongings. Her doll collection was probably worth more than I will make in a life time. They almost attempted to make us feel sorry for her and all her efforts to move such a magnitude of lavish crap in a month. It kind of made me sick to my stomach. The fact that this journey was even a program on television, boggles my mind. What is worse is that, I sat there watching it like a dumb ass. All I could think of after is all the struggling people she could help with the proceeds of that sale. I have no way of knowing what Candy Spelling does in terms of giving to causes but, who needs a 150 million dollars. Her net worth is approximately 600 million dollars. Imagine the good that could be done with that type of wealth.
I want to clarify that I have nothing against Candy Spelling personally. How she came across her fortune and what she does with it is her business. I just used it as an example of what my blog is trying to assert in its essence as I just viewed the program last night.
It is said that 1% of the population controls the world wealth. That in itself scares me. How are we supposed to progress as a society with that economic structure? It will not change though. Individuals, Groups and Political Leaders are too damn greedy. Why do you think AIDS is still around? It has been showed in studies that we have the capability to abolish the disease worldwide. We have the technology and the medicine to take on such a huge endeavor. That would mean however, that the billion dollar profits of pharmaceutical companies would significantly diminish. How would they make money if a disease was cured? The greed factor again. Why fix a problem when you can prolong it and make a shit load of money from it?
I watched on the sports programs this morning that Floyd Mayweather (boxer) is wagering
$ 3 000 000 on the Michigan Wolverines to cover the 13.5 point spread tonight. It showed him on his plane, throwing down stacks of money on a table in preparation for his big bets. That kind of self indulgence is almost comical. How is someone in the southern states supposed to feel when they see that? They are without homes, cars, jobs, food and belongings and this guy is flaunting his wealth on national television. Just think how much supplies, shelter and comfort that 3 million could provide.
These are just a few examples of greed in our society. I would be writing all night if I mentioned all of them.
I am guilty of greed in my own life at times. Thinking of what I do not have and things that I want. There is nothing wrong with wanting to build a better life, I just have to remember the wonderful people that surround us and how fortunate we are. We struggle sometimes but, really have so much to be grateful for. Sometimes simple things are the ones that bring us the most joy. All I have to do is turn on the news and realize that there are so many people in our world that need help. I am just trying to say that if that 1% realizes just how much impact they could have on the 99%, we could start moving in a more positive direction. I want my nephews to grow up in a world where we can slowly start putting others first and realize that giving of ourselves is the greatest gift of all.
Hope your having a great Labour Day weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
Get up to watch the sunrise, its brilliance will amaze you.
Friday, 31 August 2012
MRI here I come ...
I have an MRI booked this morning at 10:30 in Guelph. It is a precautionary measure after I had what they think was a vascular migraine a few weeks a go. I am sure nothing will come of it but, it is still a bit nerve racking. The unknown is a scary venture sometimes and worry a little bit about what they may find. Fingers crossed.
I have been doing fairly well otherwise. My mind has floated a bit over the last few weeks but, have been able to keep my thoughts at bay and focus more on daily life. It is difficult to ignore some thoughts as I wonder why the hell they even pass through my mind. I will write a blog in the next few weeks to focus more specifically on what transpires when my brain races or cycles. I have not had a major bout of depression for a few months now which is encouraging. I just have to remain diligent in my routines and pay attention to my thought patterns.
I am missing work as they just booked the MRI and I had not option as to when it was. I hate losing a day on the pay check but, I need to get this done to make sure there is nothing more serious going on inside my body. Work has been going smoothly these days. It is hard to believe that there is only three months left to the season. I am really looking forward to the winter and having some time to recoup. I may pick up some odd jobs here and there but, mainly plan to spend some quality time with Ollie.
I have to get going now so I hope you have an amazing long weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
Inspirations come in a variety of forms.
I have been doing fairly well otherwise. My mind has floated a bit over the last few weeks but, have been able to keep my thoughts at bay and focus more on daily life. It is difficult to ignore some thoughts as I wonder why the hell they even pass through my mind. I will write a blog in the next few weeks to focus more specifically on what transpires when my brain races or cycles. I have not had a major bout of depression for a few months now which is encouraging. I just have to remain diligent in my routines and pay attention to my thought patterns.
I am missing work as they just booked the MRI and I had not option as to when it was. I hate losing a day on the pay check but, I need to get this done to make sure there is nothing more serious going on inside my body. Work has been going smoothly these days. It is hard to believe that there is only three months left to the season. I am really looking forward to the winter and having some time to recoup. I may pick up some odd jobs here and there but, mainly plan to spend some quality time with Ollie.
I have to get going now so I hope you have an amazing long weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
Inspirations come in a variety of forms.
Saturday, 18 August 2012
Mind over Matter
Thursday night was an interesting one for me. I was watching the Blue Jays game and at about 8:00, my vision started going blurry. This has never happened to me previously in my life so it was a bit worrisome. I rinsed my eyes out to see if that would help but, to no avail. Jodi was talking to Leslie and they both encouraged me to go to the hospital. I was a little hesitant as I have not always had a positive experience in prior trips to Groves Memorial.
I was really not feeling well and my whole body was weak. I was dizzy and felt as though I may just collapse on the floor. The front of my head was starting to ache and my vision was still not what I am accustomed to. Jodi actually knew the in-take nurses so they were quite friendly.
The nurse took me to do an eye test on the wall. I normally have excellent vision and can read every line with no issue. With my left eye, I could only read the first four lines. My right was only one line better. This was alarming to me as I was wondering what the hell was going on.
Jodi waited with me in the back room. I really appreciated her being there with me but, I am sure she was getting annoyed with my attempts to lighten the mood. As I was lying there in the bed, I felt extremely drained. My head ached and I developed a pain on the left side of my chest and some tingly sensations in my left hand. A variety of things crossed my mind and I just wanted to find out what this was all about.
We waited in the back room for probably an hour and half. I am not patient when it comes to waiting but, managed to remain relatively calm. They transferred me to the main area and I lay in another bed waiting to see the physician. The nurse hooked me up to an machine to monitor my vitals to be safe and I had some blood taken. An in-tern finally came in to talk to me. She was from McMaster and was very pleasant. I did my best to answer all the questions and she seemed to be as perplexed as I was. This may because all my tests came back fine and my previous symptoms seemed a mystery. The in-tern went off to discuss my situation with the doctor on duty. They came back and the doc asserted that I may have had a vascular migraine. I do get a lot of headaches so this appeared to make sense. She wants me to follow up with an optometrist and see Dr Otto to book an MRI just to rule out some things. I was relieved to hear that diagnosis as some worse case scenarios had been running through my mind.
We got back at midnight and I was ready to instantly fall asleep. I had phoned my boss, to keep him up to speed. I e-mailed him when I got home to let him know I would be at work in the morning. In the past, I would never have wanted to work after being so physically drained. I knew it was going to be an extremely long day on Friday but, I wanted to cut some grass as we were already down a man.
I woke up after hitting snooze a few times and made my way out to Tim's to grab us a coffee. I made a make shift lunch and headed out the door. My body was not looking forward to the day ahead but, my mind was steadfast in facing the challenge head on. It turned out to be an amazing day of grass cutting. Marcel and I did ten properties, a few monster ones, and ended up working till quarter to seven. Our boss even helped us at the end of the day which helped us finish all the properties on our grass cutting list. We are now back on track for our weekly routine as it has been a bit messed up with all the rain we have had lately. Marcel did an amazing job and we left the properties looking pretty sharp. I am really proud of myself for pushing through the physical exhaustion from the lack of sleep. I credit this to staying positive mentally, not allowing my mind to give in to negative shit which enabled my body to perform the way it should. Jodi even sent me an e-mail saying how proud she was of me for getting up and going to work. It may not seem like a big deal but, for me it was an awesome accomplishment. It came down to mind over matter and I am so happy the way my Friday turned out.
I realize this was a bit of a novel today, was important for me to get all this down though. I hope you are having a good weekend. Bye for now. Take care, Shawn.
Pushing yourself to the limit is a good way to test your character.
I was really not feeling well and my whole body was weak. I was dizzy and felt as though I may just collapse on the floor. The front of my head was starting to ache and my vision was still not what I am accustomed to. Jodi actually knew the in-take nurses so they were quite friendly.
The nurse took me to do an eye test on the wall. I normally have excellent vision and can read every line with no issue. With my left eye, I could only read the first four lines. My right was only one line better. This was alarming to me as I was wondering what the hell was going on.
Jodi waited with me in the back room. I really appreciated her being there with me but, I am sure she was getting annoyed with my attempts to lighten the mood. As I was lying there in the bed, I felt extremely drained. My head ached and I developed a pain on the left side of my chest and some tingly sensations in my left hand. A variety of things crossed my mind and I just wanted to find out what this was all about.
We waited in the back room for probably an hour and half. I am not patient when it comes to waiting but, managed to remain relatively calm. They transferred me to the main area and I lay in another bed waiting to see the physician. The nurse hooked me up to an machine to monitor my vitals to be safe and I had some blood taken. An in-tern finally came in to talk to me. She was from McMaster and was very pleasant. I did my best to answer all the questions and she seemed to be as perplexed as I was. This may because all my tests came back fine and my previous symptoms seemed a mystery. The in-tern went off to discuss my situation with the doctor on duty. They came back and the doc asserted that I may have had a vascular migraine. I do get a lot of headaches so this appeared to make sense. She wants me to follow up with an optometrist and see Dr Otto to book an MRI just to rule out some things. I was relieved to hear that diagnosis as some worse case scenarios had been running through my mind.
We got back at midnight and I was ready to instantly fall asleep. I had phoned my boss, to keep him up to speed. I e-mailed him when I got home to let him know I would be at work in the morning. In the past, I would never have wanted to work after being so physically drained. I knew it was going to be an extremely long day on Friday but, I wanted to cut some grass as we were already down a man.
I woke up after hitting snooze a few times and made my way out to Tim's to grab us a coffee. I made a make shift lunch and headed out the door. My body was not looking forward to the day ahead but, my mind was steadfast in facing the challenge head on. It turned out to be an amazing day of grass cutting. Marcel and I did ten properties, a few monster ones, and ended up working till quarter to seven. Our boss even helped us at the end of the day which helped us finish all the properties on our grass cutting list. We are now back on track for our weekly routine as it has been a bit messed up with all the rain we have had lately. Marcel did an amazing job and we left the properties looking pretty sharp. I am really proud of myself for pushing through the physical exhaustion from the lack of sleep. I credit this to staying positive mentally, not allowing my mind to give in to negative shit which enabled my body to perform the way it should. Jodi even sent me an e-mail saying how proud she was of me for getting up and going to work. It may not seem like a big deal but, for me it was an awesome accomplishment. It came down to mind over matter and I am so happy the way my Friday turned out.
I realize this was a bit of a novel today, was important for me to get all this down though. I hope you are having a good weekend. Bye for now. Take care, Shawn.
Pushing yourself to the limit is a good way to test your character.
Thursday, 9 August 2012
Sweet Justice
The Canadian women's soccer team won the bronze today and I am so proud of their efforts throughout the Olympics. Congratulations to all of the players, coaching staff and trainers!!!!! Go Canada!!!
I was watching their semi-final match on Monday and was glued to the television set. I thought they did everything possible to win that game but, unfortunately the referee had a little to much to say about its outcome. I have watched soccer/football for thirty years and have never seen a goalie called for delay of game. To make that call in such an important game with only ten minutes to go is absurd and completely unfair to the effort the Canadians put forth. And to add insult to injury, the US was awarded a penalty shot on an accidental hand ball. It was my understanding that a penalty kick was awarded when it was hand to ball, not ball to hand. This was a case of the referee dictating the outcome of a match and I was heartbroken for our ladies. Who is to say that the Americans would not have scored in the last ten minutes of the second half but, I wish they would have had to earn it. I definitely know who I will be rooting for in the gold medal match!!!
With it having been such a dry summer, it is quite surprising the amount of rain we are supposed to get in the next few days. We only worked two hours today and it was still raining with no end in site. Tomorrow, we are supposed to get 35-40 mm so looks like I will be off again. It makes for a shitty pay check but, I am not too worried. Jodi is off during the summer and we rarely get a chance to hang out during the week. Ollie is pretty happy I am home today and it will give me a chance to watch some of the finals in the Olympics. The 200 m final is in a few hours and the men's gold medal match for beach volleyball is coming up as well. I hope Usain crushes the world record, damn that guy is fast.
We actually have a full slate of activities this weekend. We are going to watch my cousin Alex's football game on Friday night. On Saturday, we are going to a birthday bash for my nephew Elias and then to my boss's place for their anniversary party. There is a plan for Sunday but, I cannot mention it yet in case Jodi actually reads this before then.
Happy Thursday. Take care, Shawn.
Hold the door open for a stranger, it might make their day.
I was watching their semi-final match on Monday and was glued to the television set. I thought they did everything possible to win that game but, unfortunately the referee had a little to much to say about its outcome. I have watched soccer/football for thirty years and have never seen a goalie called for delay of game. To make that call in such an important game with only ten minutes to go is absurd and completely unfair to the effort the Canadians put forth. And to add insult to injury, the US was awarded a penalty shot on an accidental hand ball. It was my understanding that a penalty kick was awarded when it was hand to ball, not ball to hand. This was a case of the referee dictating the outcome of a match and I was heartbroken for our ladies. Who is to say that the Americans would not have scored in the last ten minutes of the second half but, I wish they would have had to earn it. I definitely know who I will be rooting for in the gold medal match!!!
With it having been such a dry summer, it is quite surprising the amount of rain we are supposed to get in the next few days. We only worked two hours today and it was still raining with no end in site. Tomorrow, we are supposed to get 35-40 mm so looks like I will be off again. It makes for a shitty pay check but, I am not too worried. Jodi is off during the summer and we rarely get a chance to hang out during the week. Ollie is pretty happy I am home today and it will give me a chance to watch some of the finals in the Olympics. The 200 m final is in a few hours and the men's gold medal match for beach volleyball is coming up as well. I hope Usain crushes the world record, damn that guy is fast.
We actually have a full slate of activities this weekend. We are going to watch my cousin Alex's football game on Friday night. On Saturday, we are going to a birthday bash for my nephew Elias and then to my boss's place for their anniversary party. There is a plan for Sunday but, I cannot mention it yet in case Jodi actually reads this before then.
Happy Thursday. Take care, Shawn.
Hold the door open for a stranger, it might make their day.
Saturday, 4 August 2012
The Rising Sun
I was on my way to work yesterday morning and witnessed the most amazing sun rise I have seen in quite some time. The sun was just coming over the horizon and it glistened brightly with a mix of crimson red and fiery orange. It spanned the sky line for miles on end and captured the full scope of the landscape. It was an amazing way to start the day and I am thankful that I was up early enough see such a magnificent display.
I was the lead hand the last few days at work. Smitty is a way in Chicago for a music festival, so I was in charge which turned out pretty well. I was quite nervous but, I feel it went smoothly. I probably pushed myself a bit too hard physically as I wanted to leave a good impression. I believe I experienced some heat exhaustion yesterday as I really did not feeling well towards the end of the day. I made the decision to come back to the shop a few hours early as my body could not handle the humidity anymore. Paul and I did get a fair amount done considering he does not have much experience with pruning and myself not feeling 100 per cent. I was a bit worried that I would get in shit for coming back to the shop early but, I am not going to fret about it. I worry too much as it is and I need to have faith in my ability to make good decisions. I can only push my body so far.
Track and Field is on the go at the Olympics now which means the 100 meter final is fast approaching. I anticipate that the world record will fall and it will be a close finish. I am pulling for Usain Bolt but, his team mate may have a say in the final result. The play offs for beach volleyball are underway and I am interested to see if Misty May and Kerri Walsh can pull of the three peat. They have looked solid in their pool play matches but, will be tested in the next few matches.
There is lots of good things to look forward to in August. Jodi's birthday is coming up in a week. My family will all be together a few days later in the month. My nephew turns five next Saturday and we are heading down for an afternoon birthday celebration. NFL pre-season is right around the corner. I try to make a mental not of positive things to look forward to. If I am struggling, I can look at what good things lay a head in the weeks to come. It is important for my mental health and is a strategy that has proved effective.
Ollie just came downstairs so I better end my writing for now before he starts barking. I hope you have an amazing long weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
Laughter is a key to happiness.
I was the lead hand the last few days at work. Smitty is a way in Chicago for a music festival, so I was in charge which turned out pretty well. I was quite nervous but, I feel it went smoothly. I probably pushed myself a bit too hard physically as I wanted to leave a good impression. I believe I experienced some heat exhaustion yesterday as I really did not feeling well towards the end of the day. I made the decision to come back to the shop a few hours early as my body could not handle the humidity anymore. Paul and I did get a fair amount done considering he does not have much experience with pruning and myself not feeling 100 per cent. I was a bit worried that I would get in shit for coming back to the shop early but, I am not going to fret about it. I worry too much as it is and I need to have faith in my ability to make good decisions. I can only push my body so far.
Track and Field is on the go at the Olympics now which means the 100 meter final is fast approaching. I anticipate that the world record will fall and it will be a close finish. I am pulling for Usain Bolt but, his team mate may have a say in the final result. The play offs for beach volleyball are underway and I am interested to see if Misty May and Kerri Walsh can pull of the three peat. They have looked solid in their pool play matches but, will be tested in the next few matches.
There is lots of good things to look forward to in August. Jodi's birthday is coming up in a week. My family will all be together a few days later in the month. My nephew turns five next Saturday and we are heading down for an afternoon birthday celebration. NFL pre-season is right around the corner. I try to make a mental not of positive things to look forward to. If I am struggling, I can look at what good things lay a head in the weeks to come. It is important for my mental health and is a strategy that has proved effective.
Ollie just came downstairs so I better end my writing for now before he starts barking. I hope you have an amazing long weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
Laughter is a key to happiness.
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Rained Out
Today turned out to be a nice surprise. We got caught up in a thunder and lightning storm and Smitty made the decision to call it a day. Turns out that it cleared but, it was still awesome to have the afternoon off. Rain days do not come very often (especially this summer), so you learn to really appreciate them when they do come.
I have not written in my blog for quite sometime which may be part of the reason I have been a bit up and down of late. Writing down my thoughts in this forum really helps me to process the day or week that I have had. My mind has raced quite a bit recently and I have not used anything as an outlet to ease the tension on the old cerebral cortex. I have allowed myself to get frustrated by minor annoyances and sunk in to lapses of depression. I have to remind myself that nothing is as bad as my mind makes it out to be. That is one of the challenges with bi-polar or other mental illnesses. It seems as though I am always fighting a war within myself, a battlefield of the mind if you will. That is what I find most difficult, the challenge of forcing myself to embrace positive moments and ignore the negative bull shit. Easier said than done at times but, I certainly have more good days than bad ones at this point in my life.
Great day for Canada at the Olympics today. Three more bronze medals and our women's soccer team qualified for the next round. Our women's beach volleyball team lost a nail biter in three sets to Russia. They had their chances at the end but, could not find a way to close it out. Their play off hopes are basically dashed but, they did our country proud with their effort today. The men play Brazil tomorrow and I believe they can pull off the upset. They have an excellent shot at making the play off rounds. Go Canada!!!!
Jodi turns 37 in a few weeks, almost cougar age. Guess I better get moving on the birthday shopping. I know she wants Lulu Lemons but, I have something better in mind. I also cannot bring myself to drop a hundred bucks on fancy sweat pants.
Work is going really well these days. We are almost done summer pruning so I hope the grass starts growing or their will be some shorter hours for us. It seems as though August is going to be dry as a cactus though, so I may just start delivering papers. I always wanted a paper route.
Hope this finds you well.
Take care, Shawn.
It is easy to judge others, it is more difficult to take the time to understand them.
I have not written in my blog for quite sometime which may be part of the reason I have been a bit up and down of late. Writing down my thoughts in this forum really helps me to process the day or week that I have had. My mind has raced quite a bit recently and I have not used anything as an outlet to ease the tension on the old cerebral cortex. I have allowed myself to get frustrated by minor annoyances and sunk in to lapses of depression. I have to remind myself that nothing is as bad as my mind makes it out to be. That is one of the challenges with bi-polar or other mental illnesses. It seems as though I am always fighting a war within myself, a battlefield of the mind if you will. That is what I find most difficult, the challenge of forcing myself to embrace positive moments and ignore the negative bull shit. Easier said than done at times but, I certainly have more good days than bad ones at this point in my life.
Great day for Canada at the Olympics today. Three more bronze medals and our women's soccer team qualified for the next round. Our women's beach volleyball team lost a nail biter in three sets to Russia. They had their chances at the end but, could not find a way to close it out. Their play off hopes are basically dashed but, they did our country proud with their effort today. The men play Brazil tomorrow and I believe they can pull off the upset. They have an excellent shot at making the play off rounds. Go Canada!!!!
Jodi turns 37 in a few weeks, almost cougar age. Guess I better get moving on the birthday shopping. I know she wants Lulu Lemons but, I have something better in mind. I also cannot bring myself to drop a hundred bucks on fancy sweat pants.
Work is going really well these days. We are almost done summer pruning so I hope the grass starts growing or their will be some shorter hours for us. It seems as though August is going to be dry as a cactus though, so I may just start delivering papers. I always wanted a paper route.
Hope this finds you well.
Take care, Shawn.
It is easy to judge others, it is more difficult to take the time to understand them.
Saturday, 21 July 2012
Happy Saturday
The last few days have been amazing. The fact that Jodi got back from out east is definitely a big part of that. She had a great visit with her parents and they sent back some lobster for us which was a very nice gesture on their part.
Tuesday was not a good day for me. I let something incidental at work in the morning bother me and I struggled all day. I let it fester in my mind and I was just pissed off at the world for the entire day. I am normally pretty easy going and of good disposition. I did not like being angry and will come up with some strategies so I do not have a day like that again. Part of it was probably lack of sleep and not eating right for a few days prior to Tuesday. I really have to make sure I take care of those two aspects to continue to improve my mental well being.
The last few days have been really positive. It is remarkable what you can get accomplished if you put in a good days work. I am so proud of the jobs we did this week. We did a lot of summer pruning and tackled another hedge yesterday. I took some pictures of our work so perhaps I will post some of them on my blog when I get them on the lap top. We are going to the Jays game on Thursday for a 12:37 start time. Will be good to go as a crew and do something different than the normal grind. My boss has never been to a game since he moved here from Holland so I hope the Jays put on a good show for him.
Jodi is off to boot camp this morning. I am enjoying my morning coffee and catching up on some sports highlights. I cannot wait for the Olympics next week in London. We have qualified two beach volleyball teams so I hope they can make a good run at a medal. The one event that I have to watch is the 100m final. I love the way Usain Bolt runs and am eager to see him break his own world record. I am going to do some pruning in our front beds and then make a trip to the pet store with Ollie for some treats.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
The best advice often comes from someone who has failed at something.
Tuesday was not a good day for me. I let something incidental at work in the morning bother me and I struggled all day. I let it fester in my mind and I was just pissed off at the world for the entire day. I am normally pretty easy going and of good disposition. I did not like being angry and will come up with some strategies so I do not have a day like that again. Part of it was probably lack of sleep and not eating right for a few days prior to Tuesday. I really have to make sure I take care of those two aspects to continue to improve my mental well being.
The last few days have been really positive. It is remarkable what you can get accomplished if you put in a good days work. I am so proud of the jobs we did this week. We did a lot of summer pruning and tackled another hedge yesterday. I took some pictures of our work so perhaps I will post some of them on my blog when I get them on the lap top. We are going to the Jays game on Thursday for a 12:37 start time. Will be good to go as a crew and do something different than the normal grind. My boss has never been to a game since he moved here from Holland so I hope the Jays put on a good show for him.
Jodi is off to boot camp this morning. I am enjoying my morning coffee and catching up on some sports highlights. I cannot wait for the Olympics next week in London. We have qualified two beach volleyball teams so I hope they can make a good run at a medal. The one event that I have to watch is the 100m final. I love the way Usain Bolt runs and am eager to see him break his own world record. I am going to do some pruning in our front beds and then make a trip to the pet store with Ollie for some treats.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Take care, Shawn.
The best advice often comes from someone who has failed at something.
Thursday, 12 July 2012
The Power of Sleep
Jodi left Monday night for her trip out east to visit here parents and hit up the Praught family reunion. I would have loved to go but, could not take that much time off work. Will have to make sure to make up for it at the next one with a little karaoke magic.
I miss Jodi a lot. She is such a big part of my everyday life and it does not feel quite the same without her here. Ollie and I are doing pretty well though. We have managed to get in some good plays and I even did some tidying around the house tonight. I have been a bit lax with watering Jodi's plants so I better get on that soon before they wilt a way to nothing.
The first few nights without Jodi were really hard. I have difficulty at times with transitions and I was really struggling. My head was racing quite a bit on Tuesday which I am not a big fan of. Just think of listening to a cd that skips repeatedly for hours on end. That is the best way I could describe it. Wednesday was a little better but, still not where I wanted to be. I did not sleep well for two nights and knew that was a huge part of the problem. So last night, I made Ollie sleep downstairs and I went to bed at 9:00. That eight and a half hours of sleep made a world of difference for me today. I was strong mentally and was able to control my thought process in a positive way. I have to keep that in mind for the future. Making sure I get enough rest for body, mind and soul.
Ollie and I are just relaxing tonight. I was supposed to play volleyball but, wanted to rest my back.
We are watching some CFL action which is no NFL but, is actually fairly entertaining. Looking forward to going to Port Credit tomorrow to do some summer pruning.
Happy Thursday. Take care, Shawn.
Enjoy the small victories in life.
I miss Jodi a lot. She is such a big part of my everyday life and it does not feel quite the same without her here. Ollie and I are doing pretty well though. We have managed to get in some good plays and I even did some tidying around the house tonight. I have been a bit lax with watering Jodi's plants so I better get on that soon before they wilt a way to nothing.
The first few nights without Jodi were really hard. I have difficulty at times with transitions and I was really struggling. My head was racing quite a bit on Tuesday which I am not a big fan of. Just think of listening to a cd that skips repeatedly for hours on end. That is the best way I could describe it. Wednesday was a little better but, still not where I wanted to be. I did not sleep well for two nights and knew that was a huge part of the problem. So last night, I made Ollie sleep downstairs and I went to bed at 9:00. That eight and a half hours of sleep made a world of difference for me today. I was strong mentally and was able to control my thought process in a positive way. I have to keep that in mind for the future. Making sure I get enough rest for body, mind and soul.
Ollie and I are just relaxing tonight. I was supposed to play volleyball but, wanted to rest my back.
We are watching some CFL action which is no NFL but, is actually fairly entertaining. Looking forward to going to Port Credit tomorrow to do some summer pruning.
Happy Thursday. Take care, Shawn.
Enjoy the small victories in life.
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